• secretlife said on Apr 16, 2008....

  you gotta talk to him.
  you just gotta talk to him.

• SeanRenaud said on Apr 16, 2008....

  I'm going to ditto Secret here.

• BDSMrose said on Apr 16, 2008....

  I've tried. He insists that nothing is going on and said I was spying on him. He told me he should be able to talk to other women without me freaking out.
   
  I just don't think talking involves a secret e-mail.

• SeanRenaud said on Apr 16, 2008....

  Ok at this point there is something to worry about

• BDSMrose said on Apr 16, 2008....

  I don't know what to do if he wont say anything else.

• SeanRenaud said on Apr 16, 2008....

  I've no solid advice for this.

• wishyouwerehere said on Apr 16, 2008....

  Put the cards on the table - he already knows that you know.  Tell him how much it hurts you.  Above all, keep an open mind but trust your instincts.  You deserve a partner who is equally invested in your relationship.

• sweet_rose said on Apr 16, 2008....

  I am guessing my comment was deleted by user. :-)
   
  I hope all is well and good luck B'rose
   
  rose

• thiscantbeall said on Apr 16, 2008....

  It's sad that you look to yourself for the reason before you look to your husband.
  You blame yourself first, and now he blames you, too.
  You question your treatment of your husband, wonder where you've gone wrong.
  Is it sex? Your appearance?
  He's the one you should be questioning, not yourself. He's the one talking with other women. Don't let him blame you, don't fall into that trap.
  
  tcba
  
  

• sweet_rose said on Apr 17, 2008....

  Sean, You're an ass hole.. I mean that in the nicest possible way of course.
   
  The only reason a partner doesn't meet the other needs is very simple.
  • They don't want too. ( clearly she stated she does )
  • He has not expressed them so she can.

  Hmmm I wonder which one sounds more logical.

  rose

• thiscantbeall said on Apr 17, 2008....

  Sean, do you mean to say that a person is entitled to stray, to seek attention elsewhere, because their partner isn't meeting one of their needs?
  And why is this funny to you?
  Rose discovered her husband has been talking with other women online. She's read emails that caused her to suspect her husband no longer loves her.
  He accused her of spying on him. He wants to continue communicating with other women.
  It sounds as though he isn't as invested in this marriage as Rose is.
  I think it's sad that she's blaming herself.
  I hope you're wrong, Rose, and that it turns out to be completely innocent.
  

• pusscat said on Apr 17, 2008....

  Sean I understand what you are sayng about 2 sides to every story - true.

  If i thought my husband was doing something that was not beneficial to our marriage I would 'spy' on him if he would not answer me honestly.  I know people often do drift apart and fall out of love but I hope my husband would at least have the decency to tell me that.  Let me know that I'm flogging a dead horse.  I hope he wouldn't just keep me around so he has company and a housewife as that wouldn't be fair on either of us.

  If rose's husband isn't interested in her anymore he should tell her.  He may not be able to help falling out of love admittedly - like you said - of course it happens but it is the decent thing to discuss it.  Adult to adult - TALK - that's all I'm saying she deserves that much.  I believe anyone deserves an explanation really.  It's OK to have an open relationship if two partners agreed it first.  One partner just deciding years down the line that's what they want and will do and be damned is just plain selfish.

  CONFRONT him rose for your own sanity.  I am not aportioning blame Sean just some honesty is needed on both sides.

• quietone said on Apr 17, 2008....

  Yes, I am a bit late here, but I agree sit down and put the cards on the table.  If you have nothing to hide....  you hide nothing.  I wish you only the best BDS

• sweet_rose said on Apr 17, 2008....

  "5.  It's funny because we are listening to one side of a story and everybody is blinding assuming that the side of the story we are hearing is 100% accurage when anybody beyond the age of about twelve knows that usually the stories that we are told by people are at best a little more than half true.  Particularly in a relationship it doesn't help anybody for us to stand here and reinforce the idea that she is completely blameless without atleast getting more info."
   
  That's the intersting thing about blogging. All we have is one side of the story from one point of view. IN saying that why can't we support her as woman and ask her to stand up for herself. Clearly she is in pain and needs to find the courage to confront this incredibly difficult issue. Why not hold this woman's hand verses slapping it for not just sitting there and excepting.

• pusscat said on Apr 18, 2008....

  Ditto s_r.
   
  I'm holding your hand BDSMrose as I know many of us here are
   
  (((((((((( hugs ))))))))))

• anonymous said on May 04, 2008....

  If you have plans to go back to collage, that is it. He is a afraid of you getting a life where he doesn't have the same space.
  
  I have a couple of things to say about it, but I will keep it civil in your house (only rant in mine lol).
  
  Missy 

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