• secretlife said on Apr 15, 2008....

  but you can't chain someone to you forever-
  the idea of telling someone you're dating that they can't go out with their friends is over-the-top possessive.  if the guy is so insecure in the relationship that this worries him, then there can't be any future to the relationship-
   
  at some point, you have to trust.

• johnlove said on Apr 15, 2008....

  quite often it isn't so much about trusting her as it is about what she is wearing and what message it sends to other guys.
  At one point my ex would go out in a short, almost see through top that I never saw till the night she went to leave wearing it...Maybe if she wore it for me first I would have went out with her.

• secretlife said on Apr 15, 2008....

  but if you trusted your ex, then you wouldn't worry about other men coming on to her because you'd know that she wouldn't be tempted, right?
   
  seems to me like she was going out to garner attention - for whatever reason. 
  and the type of clothing she wore might have been a big sign....to say - hey look at me! 
   
  i still believe that if the relationship is good, you don't worry about messages to other guys.  you only worry if there's doubt.

• johnlove said on Apr 15, 2008....

  Well at that point yeah I guess in my case I always worried.
  And some guys just are that low self-esteemed to understand no matter how hard it is for some to understand.
  I never truly understood why she was ever attracted to me in the first place.

• Dr.Mind said on Apr 16, 2008....

  Obviously the man should just assure his love for her (if it is real and it sounds real). The woman needs to assure herself what she wants; staying with a devoted man or taking a chance with a stranger.

  Anyway you look at it the girls have the power over this one again it will in the end be up to her what to do.

• secretlife said on Apr 16, 2008....

  i'm not a believer that women have the "power".
  a relationship is a balance of power-
  both have to want the relationship for it to work.

• slirpuff said on Apr 17, 2008....

  I believe you have to have trust in every relationship
  be it dating or in a marriage.
  But I've known too many women and men that put
  themselves in situations, mix with booze and
  something happens they regret and end up paying
  for. If your dating, oh well but in a marriage, why take
  the chance and put yourself in that situation.

• Fallyn said on Apr 21, 2008....

  if a woman is secure enough in herself to know she doesn't have to have a man in her life......then the man she DOES choose to be with must be extra special right?

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