The first step is be both understanding and non-judgmental as you are both listening and accepting the harsh sometimes harmful words that are coming out of this persons’ mouth. Some of which may even be aimed at you out of both frustration and the uncontrollable rage this person is feeling inside.
Having been through the wanting to do this side several times I have quite a few ideas as to how one can both be helpful and understanding when someone is suicidal.
You have to first realize one thing: “This person is not broken there is no fixing them so don’t try to do this.” I know it is hard to not want to try to fix the issues for them but, that just isn’t possible. In many cases it is just the added stress making it hard to accept and deal with overall.
Do not try to add the extra “guilt” of what about your friends and family and how they will be hurt by your choices. We already know that though in many cases outsiders fail to realize how we truly believe that those around us will only be better off without us in their lives even if they hurt for a time after. Adding guilt will only make us feel a stronger desire to fix the problems we have created for others by our being here in the first place.
You can always talk to us, take us to get help, bring us soup, buy us coffee or a pop as you prefer. But, do it because you truly want to help not because you’re feeling guilty that you didn’t see the warning signs. It is often an assumption that most people give off any we don’t telegram this when we really want to do this as a former therapist pointed out after I branded myself, “you showed me because you wanted the attention.” And maybe I did and often those who talk about it just want someone to listen and understand those desperate feelings.
Watching them like a hawk will also only add to the issue as they then feel like they are unable to walk out of a room, move or even breathe without someone freaking out afraid of what they might chose to do. You need to be understanding and cautious but, not overbearing in your desire to both help and protect the person. Remember they are not broken merely not entirely connected with the best part of their brain.
Often when you’re pushing hard to fight to get into the wall, they are probably trying to let you in but afraid to share their true feelings. Many people who suffer from long standing mental health issues will always carry the desire to “commit suicide” and just because they make a statement like, “I would be better off dead.” doesn’t truly mean they have any intention just because they have a past of thoughts or desire to attempt.
Be kind, understanding and above all, non-judgmental of their words, emotions and feelings as they express them to you. Failing to understand that someone who truly wants to no longer live will find a way and your desire to watch them 24 hours a day is both unreasonable and not truly going to stop anything in their mind from happening.