• MissMimi said on Apr 14, 2008....

  I know it will positively shock you, Ed, but I have watched porn before. :p

  I agree about the boredom factor.  Porn is horribly boring.  Last time I watched it with mrMimi, I fell asleep.  That's me -- a real party girl alright...

• Alyss said on Apr 14, 2008....

  I know that this won't shock or surprise you at all ed but I've never watched any porn. :p
  
  And if it's as boring as you & Mimi are suggesting I see no reason to change that.
  

• nytquill17 said on Apr 14, 2008....

  Ed - I haven't seen any adult films in recent years but I watched some back in college.  It's usually worse when they actually try to have a story :p  "Really sexy but kinda silly" is a highly accurate description of most porn that's out there.  And sex is totally boring when you're not the one having it!
  
  In all those "improve your sex life" articles, when they recommend porn, they recommend to get something directed by Candida Royale because she's supposed to make porn with a romantic touch that appeals to women.  I've not seen any of her stuff but maybe it addresses the boredom factor?
  

• evil_twin said on Apr 14, 2008....

  Is it just me who's shocked that this was your first porn flick adventure?? I do think that most porn is incredibly stupid. You definitely don't watch it for the storyline or the acting. And it does get boring sometimes too. I'm not sure I've ever watched an entire movie from beginning to end. Usually a couple of scenes are enough and then it accomplished what it was supposed to do and you can turn it off.
  
  -evil_twin LA
  
  
  

• queenparanoia said on Apr 14, 2008....

  this is the first porn you ever bought???? dude you are lame...lol... but have you notice that...

  the ladies always have their shoes on.... and the guys always wear a watch...

  this is just based on my experince... if you really wanna watch porn just tell me and i'll pm you a good site..lol... =)

• silverwhisper said on Apr 14, 2008....

  mimi: honestly, i found myself getting bored during some of the longer scenes, myself--seriously, WTF?! and i'm shocked--shocked!--to learn that you've actually watched any before! :D
  
  alyss: stick w/ erotica--it's more rewarding, IMHO. :> and honestly, i am a tad surprised for reasons that are unclear to me.
  
  nyt: i've heard excellent things about candida royale too, in fact, but the store appeared not to have much--they stock 'em in their classics section. but really, i'm not sure i'm old school enough to go w/ classics, you know?
  
  kyle: well, i guess i'm still surprising then? :D seriously, first time i ever bought any--just not the first time i watched it. i completely agree re: serving its intended purposes, btw. :D
  
  sis: holy crap, but that's so true about the shoes! not so much re: the watch though, at least IMX. i think i'm happier w/ reading it rather than watching it, to be honest. :>
  
  ed

• MissMimi said on Apr 14, 2008....

  Yes, why do they do that with the shoes?  Is that supposed to be sexy?

• botoni said on Apr 14, 2008....

  I d love to watch some porn to see if I like it. Unfortunately I dont own a pornograph. I know, I know.....old joke. You re right Ed, the hiring policy is certainly not acting ability.

• Eilan said on Apr 14, 2008....

  I can count the number of times I've watched porn on one hand.
  
  We have some porn on VHS tapes in one of our closets.  I'm assuming that my husband and his ex bought them, because he and I didn't.  I'm not averse to watching them, but the only working VCR is currently in our living room and I wouldn't want the girls walking in.
  

• tizzygirl said on Apr 14, 2008....

  I'm shocked that this is your first ever porn experience!!!  Wow!!  Is there a reason why?  Not that you are missing all that much.  I mean yes they are fun, but actually having sex is much better.  I like Jenna personally, mostly before the nose job though...so good choice there.  I've seen a ton, I have an entire box of them...perhaps I'm a pervert I don't know.  Honestly I probably watch them all the way through one or two times, but most other times we put them on....and we'll get too busy to watch anything.  But yes I admit in every porn I've ever seen there is at least one point where I crack up laughing.  I mean seriously, I'm pretty easy but not that easy!  Some of these women on here only need a guy to say the word "hi" and all the sudden their hot and bothered and shedding clothes!  So yes, in porn world everything is different.  The acting is famously bad!  But at least they do have other assets to make up for it.  The music cracks me up too!  Usually it's a running joke in my house to start humming cheesy porn music....so yes, usually porns are sometimes best on mute!  But some are better than others and it's true that the more money you spend the better it is!  Enjoy ;)

• quietone said on Apr 14, 2008....

  ed , I was also surpirsed that this was yoru frist experience. I am glad you can now see what you weren't missing! 

• exhibit_c said on Apr 14, 2008....

  Bought? As in "exchanged money for"?
  
  I didn't know you could do that. I thought you had to download it from newsgroups.
  
  I don't know that I've seen much big time professional porn lately, but the impression that I have is that it is too much the same. Same acts, similar order. I've probably seen five interviews with porn directors who agree they don't pay any attention; they just leave the actors/actresses and the cameramen alone.
  
  In old porn, all the moaning was dubbed in. Now they have better sound, but it seems to be required that the woman make some sort of audible sound with each stroke. I don't know about your sex life, but mine is not like that.
  

• diabolicdame said on Apr 14, 2008....

  Ok I have watched porn.. with my bf mostly.. and I honestly find it boring!! I agree big time with your third point! And it all looks so fake and repetitive..unless its a proper movie with story and acting and what not.
  Like I saw this really old french movie called Emmanuelle or something and it was the only one I liked because it had an interesting story and everything. I spent more time reading the subtitles than watching it though! haha.. And it wasn't really porn I think.. more like a movie about sex.. ok ok.. I digress too..
  
  

• pickersplock said on Apr 14, 2008....

  Hahaha!  Now, see if you had gone to porn camp, you'd already know these things! lololol
  They should have filmed it on wheels!  Just imagine that!

• wombat said on Apr 14, 2008....

  I remember seeing my first porn video and it just embarrased me.  Later, I learned to get over that.  But it's been a long, long time ago.  I have seen some that were so silly (the story lines and dialog) that it was more like a comedy.  And some of the titles are just hillariarous.

• LtCmdrWorf1 said on Apr 14, 2008....

  Hey Ed,
  
  I snuck into my first porn film at 16 years of age, and embarrassed myself.  This was back before 42nd Street turned into Disneyland north.  I remember I told my friend to spill beer on me to hide the stain.  Ah what fun :)  Peace and Long Life
  
  Love Worf
  
  
  

• lfbno7 said on Apr 14, 2008....

  Vanilla sex bores me, in person or on film. I haven't seen a lot of porn, but the stuff I saw was, for the most part, deadly boring to me. The pizza delivery boy shows up at a girls party and they all jump on him. I don't care what he looks like or how big he is down there, it bores me. The music is stupid and the acting sucks. I could watch that sort of thing for an hour and still not get the least bit aroused, just bored to tears.

• gentlepie said on Apr 14, 2008....

  haha. all your observations are sooo true ed. i have this one at home that actually made use of schubert's impromptu in g minor. i must say its very classy, as the scoring actually complemented the setting.. it was set in a manor or something. hehehe. of course, that vid i watched was an exception to the general rule.. and your observations.

• lioneljay said on Apr 14, 2008....

  To begin with, ed, I'm glad to see that you got your fix at "a clean, well-lit place." ;)
  
  My favorite porn movie night was (well, I'll tell about two, if you don't mind) a surprise to me. My roommate and I, who'd both been a part of our college hockey club (we didn't have intercollegiate hockey so we played in a local league of teams sponsored by factories), attended the hockey league's annual awards banquet. No, neither of us was being awarded anything. After dinner was over we noticed that folks were setting up seats theater style (I think this was in an Elks lodge or American Legion hall or something similar) so we took a seat. Soon a large screen was put up and the lights came down. And there on screen was one of the defensemen from one of the other teams. We were treated to about an hour of short home-made porn that included a half dozen guys from the hockey league and, I would imagine, a number of local prostitutes. Let's just say that none of the "actors" was ever likely to get a call from MGM.
  
  A few weeks later, the movie Deep Throat debuted. It actually appeared in local theaters and so several of us walked from campus to the neighborhood theater to see it. I still remember some of the scenes and even some of the dialogue. I can't say that about many other movies that go back to 1973, that's for sure. :D
  

• allswell said on Apr 14, 2008....

  lol...that's funny you brought this up. Just last night i was on the phone with one of my guy friends and he was telling me i should watch some, he even gave me a sight to go to! He said I  might enjoy it and maybe it would help me with the whole not having sex right now...i don't know about that...but it might be worth a try.... God know's i need something...lol.  I've never really watched  porn  before, so i'll have to let you know what i think. 

  alls:)

• PassionTraveler said on Apr 14, 2008....

  I love porn, but then my tastes go to a more restricted genre - literally - restricted movement! I like bondage. I'm not into BDSM, or pain, or weirdness.
  
  I just like plain ordinary tie me up and f*** me silly porn.
  
  Glad to see the misses at least shares viewing time with you. I like ones that mix up the positions and situations. Otherwise, I agree, most are pretty rife with bad acting. But then I guess that's why the porn gods made fast-forward and mute!
  
  PT
  
  
  

• gingersoul said on Apr 14, 2008....

  Ed......i used to watch porn with my ex but only once in a while.....i agree with you , the majority of these production is definetely boring.....i mean..how many times you can see the same action over and over again?....lol..

  But at the same time many of them try really too hard to acquire some dignity...problem is the plot is usually ridicolous, the ambience and the characters plain and without inventive...so the results is silliness.... 

  Just give me a scene simple and honest, if possible...

  That's why the best porno scene i have ever seen has taken place in an ordinary bathtub in a backyard......it was a Japanese movie....

  The plot was simple but captivating plot: she is in a big wooden bathtub washing herself. He is hiding behind the bushes spying on her. He then jumps in the tub scaring her that tries to get out. He passionately grabs her back and basically rapes her ...well, it takes one second for her to decide that the guy is not bad at all.....lol...

  The scene is shot underneath the water and outside the water....two beautiful bodies, one good fight at the beginning, very realistic sounds, and that incomprehensible language so clear to understand though.....;-)

  I have to admit that  i watched and rewatched that scene many times....

• one_wired_kitty said on Apr 14, 2008....

  Never saw much of a point to watching what I could be doing.

• starchini said on Apr 14, 2008....

  Ur buying the wrong porn ed : )  The porn i watch is nothing but sex, people dont really say much other than "so wanna do it?" then they do, do it.  The there are tons of yummy angles.  I think u need to add to ur collection.  : ) 

• soaringraven said on Apr 14, 2008....

  No good acting in porn?  Just look at all the great stars that have come out of the porn industry.  Take for example Sylvester Stalone.  Now there's some real talent, just limit the dialogue to very short sentences using monosyllabic words, keep his shirt off or at least nearly torn off and give him a big weapon.   Some great talent comes out of the porn industry.  Yup!  Yup!

  soaring 

• hotaka said on Apr 14, 2008....

  I found most pron flicks that I ever saw either amusing or dull. I prefered to watch the ones that do a movie or TV spoof. At least there was a reason to be silly and make us laugh. Otherwise the only reason to watch was to see how some women looked naked, basic curiosity really. Yeah, I remember one where they just repeated the same camera angles and no doubt the same footage (pardon the pun) just to make it look like it was lasting longer. And the creaming on the woman's stomach followed by a shot of the goop never did anything for me. Maybe I am not normal but I just can't get into porn. Perhaps I just haven't seen the right film yet.

• Fallyn said on Apr 14, 2008....

  i've never watched porn. .........

• Zayda said on Apr 14, 2008....

  Count me among those surprised that this was your first experience with porn. I remember mine; it was back in high school. A whole group of us got together one weekend to watch movies, and someone brought a porn flick. I couldn't tell you what it was, but like you, I found it rather silly and boring.

• Lucytorial said on Apr 15, 2008....

  I have never enjoyed any porn video because they do either;
  
  1. Try to put a sublimely stupid plot in there
  
  2. Create too many speaking parts for actors who only know how to make fucking look good.
  
  I prefer to make my own, that way I get exactly what I want.
  

• johnlove said on Apr 15, 2008....

  Generally these days for many porn is used as a primer for the personal touch.
  As a man, yes I have endeavored into this area many times and personally I watch more for certain aspects of the movie i.e. certain sex behaviors...most often I like it for all the sexy long hair and the massive amounts of hair flipping involved.
  Granted they are mostly not really great actors but, when it comes to raw passionate sex sometimes it even seems real.

• silverwhisper said on Apr 15, 2008....

  mimi: honestly, i do kinda find it sexy. i know, i'm such a tool... :p
  
  botoni: yeah, but imagine if there was also acting ability! :D
  
  eilan: no, that's definitely not something you wanna chance! besides, you know that if you did, you'd be a pedophilia advocate! :D
  
  TG: well, it isn't my first porn experience--it's my first experience buying it, though! so yeah, the cheesy 70s "wokka wokka" guitar thing--seriously, WTF was that stuff about? i like that thing about cheesy porn music as a running gag! :D there's one i'd like to find again, 1001 erotic nights--that one i've seen before and recall liking. :>
  
  quietone: yeah--apparently, not much! and here's the sad thing, it won multiple AVN awards. i have to assume it was for set design or something!
  
  exhibit: heh...yes, it is indeed possible. i'm not surprised re: those interviews, i'll confess. interesting re: the audio track--although my sex life does involve audible sounds rather a lot, i'll confess. :>
  
  diabolic: you have? my image of you is forever shattered! :D ah yes, emmanuelle--i've seen that one and been curious about its sequels, actually. :>
  
  pickers: bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! see, i knew i was making a mistake in not going to that! :D
  
  wombat: browsing through porn titles is probably funnier than looking for goofy spammer names--i should give that a shot. i do remember a friend once telling me that there was once titled "flesh gordon". :>
  
  worf: hey, at 16 those kinds of things can happen to anyone! heh...spilled beer to cover up something--now that's pretty funny!
  
  lbf: you know, by leading off by talking about how vanilla sex bores you, you kinda beg the question of what kind of sex doesn't. :>
  
  gentlepie: schubert? really? i gotta say, you've got me curious! :>
  
  LJ: good to see you again, it's been a while! i hope you've been well? yes, i think papa hemingway would've approved on some level. :> now that's funny about that awards banquet--i'm trying to imagine how i'd respond in a similar situation and i'm really not sure! heh...i remember seeing deep throat and the classic use of the coca cola line, which in fact is what inspired my exploration into alternative uses of amaretto sours. :>
  
  allswell: you know, you might find reading erotica more suitable if you want to follow your friend's advice. some people have posted some on SC, and there are tons of sites online that host 'em, too. :>
  
  PT: "that's why the porn gods made fast-forward and mute!" i believe that only rarely have truer words been uttered about porn! :D i'll confess i'm a tad confuzzled by being into bondage but not d/s, but hey, different strokes & all that. :>
  
  GS: while i'll confess that the scene you described wouldn't do it for me, but as i said to PT, different strokes. :> i believe that porn studios are a volume business, so i guess looking for quality is kinda goofy, though. :>
  
  1WK: well, as kyle observed, it can be useful for setting a mood sometimes. :>
  
  starchini: i think that we probably have different tastes re: porn, to tell you the truth, b/c i think that would probably not work all that well for me. [shrugs]
  
  soaringraven: bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
  
  hotaka: see, the money shot doesn't really do it for me, either. if you're weird, i guess i'm weird too--and i consider myself to be in good company. :>
  
  fallyn: ah, given your upbringing i'm somehow unsurprised. :>
  
  super z: you know, i'm trying to remember what mine was...i think it was in college when i was involved with k lo these many moons ago. she was dumbfounded to learn that one of her new friends (not me) had never seen any, so the three of us went to the store, rented some & watched. i always wondered if k's intention there was a threesome, come to think of it. she wasn't the sort who shared well, as i believe you probably suspected. :>
  
  tobi-lee: you know, making one's own always strikes me as one of those things that doesn't live as well as it sounds. t/f?
  
  johnlove: hey, welcome to my blog and thanks for visiting! i'm not sure i understand your intended meaning in that first sentence--is it a reference to "flying solo"? cuz if so: yeah, naturally, i sometimes wonder why rental places that include porn don't throw in a small package of tissues, to be honest! :D
  
  ed

• wombat said on Apr 15, 2008....

  Thought I would add that I saw a really bad title once, of one about " toothless grannies."  It was called "Gum Me Bare!"  (Gummi Bear candies reference)
   
  (It's way too early for this.....ha)

• silverwhisper said on Apr 15, 2008....

  ROFL! that's funny, yet frightening!
  
  ed

• lfbno7 said on Apr 15, 2008....

  sw, I know. I was wondering if anyone would pick up on that when I wrote it. The kind of sex that gets to me is when there is give and take. One person gives, one takes. One gets their way, the other is submissive to it. I like the drama and fantasy of that. It's not a choice on my part, it's just what reaches me.

• silverwhisper said on Apr 15, 2008....

  there are a number of folks on SC who are interested in d/s if you're interested, lbf. :>
  
  ed

• blogslut said on Apr 15, 2008....

  I'm personally not a major fan of porn. I've watched it, I can watch it, I do watch it occasionally. But if you pay attention, you may notice that certain scenes are re-used - you'll see it once, and then later on, you'll see the exact shot again. I think when they find a shot they like and couldn;t quite get it again, they cut it together in editing and throw the one scene back in a few times.
   
  I'm not a big fan of the sound either, I much prefer it on mute.
   
  I don;t need porn all that much though - I have a VERY fertive imagination, so I can just close my eyes and see the greatest porn movies never, whenever I need to go to "that place". lol.
   
  To be honest, when watching porn I tend to drift off and use a certain scene of the movie and develop it into my own imagined movie in my head. It's often a hell of a lot better!
   
  Blogslut
  xx

• silverwhisper said on Apr 15, 2008....

  blogslut: long time no see! yeah, i've noticed recycled footage too, i'll confess. and your bit about imagnining an improved version--i completely agree! :>
  
  ed

• biglove said on Apr 15, 2008....

  Ed, congrats on your first porn! You'll find that if you've seen one porn you've seen them all (as far as story lines go).
   
  I personally like the cheesy 70's porn, its fun and makes me laugh.

• silverwhisper said on Apr 15, 2008....

  ah, i have such a low threshold for cheese, myself--but hey, if it works for you, it works, right? :>
  
  ed

• diabolicdame said on Apr 15, 2008....

  Ed I have seen one sequel in which they go to china.. its more raunchy than the original movie.. or lets say more explicit.. and they changed the guy who plays her husband.. n she looks better in the sequel.. but all in all its quite entertaining too.. hehehehe..  And my image is shattered? Oh too bad..  :-P

• silverwhisper said on Apr 15, 2008....

  :D

• lioneljay said on Apr 15, 2008....

  Just a quickie here: those who mentioned the movies of Candida Royale were right: her work is an order of magnitude better than most other porn that I've seen. Her plots work, her actors can actually deliver lines with some sensibility, and the sex scenes work. The scenes are realistic but beautifully shot.

• starchini said on Apr 15, 2008....

  u all are funny.  Ive never heard of anyone watching porn for the acting or dialogue or the great directing.  There is only one reason to watch porn and u all know what it is...lol...how can two people having sex be boring?  I just dont get it.  Yea the recycled clips and things get stale but in general i think u all are being a little too picky.  ITS PORN!  lol...what a riot.

• starchini said on Apr 15, 2008....

  then again maybe im just to easily aroused.

• lfbno7 said on Apr 15, 2008....

  sounds good to me

• starchini said on Apr 15, 2008....

  yea lfbno i dont mind it at all : )

• Fallyn said on Apr 15, 2008....

  yes, but i am.

• bluegum said on Apr 15, 2008....

  i have only looked at a few short free clips of porn on the net and it did'nt take long to get bored looking at his piston and her cylinder going like the clappers.maybe porn could be incorperated into movies to add a bit more spice to an existing story line to flesh it out a bit. j m o.

  blue.

• Lucytorial said on Apr 16, 2008....

  Storyline??? these guys couldn't act to save their lives... thats why porn is so bland!
  
  Silver ~ depends how you do it, I prefer the erotic approach, its filmed differently than the standard moronic front side and take it all in shots.  
  
  The best part is that you enjoy it when you make it, enjoy watching it and then enjoy changing it.  Its far sexier for me to see an obscure view, eluding to something than seeing as bluegum puts it, his piston in her cylinder..
  

• silverwhisper said on Apr 16, 2008....

  LJ: thank you, i shall have to keep an eye out for her work. :>
  
  starchini: heh...maybe so... :>
  
  fallyn: why?
  
  bluegum: that's actually the way i usually write erotica so i'm with you on that!
  
  tobi-lee: you know, i guess i'll have to take your word for it until i can figure it out for myself. :>
  
  ed

• Fallyn said on Apr 16, 2008....

  the people i've been around, lived with, etc.
  not to mention i'm not exactly vanilla.
  

• silverwhisper said on Apr 17, 2008....

  ah...i can understand that. :>
  
  ed

• BDSMrose said on Apr 17, 2008....

  I like porn sometimes when I am watching it with the husband. I get bored with it pretty fast. I used to date this guy that would really watch it. He would even pause it if we had to walk out of the room or rewind if he missed something. Now, my husband and I will watch ten minutes and go at it, if we didn't do it that way and I was stuck watching any more all of those women faking it would bore the shit out of me.

• silverwhisper said on Apr 18, 2008....

  hello rose, welcome to my blog and thank you for visiting! heh...i imagine that given your username, a lot of porn bores you! :>
  
  ed

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