I don't know how many of you were aware that David and I were suppose to be married on my birthday on April 21st. But, it is now not going to happen. In fact, we are even together anymore.
There have been lots of problems from the time he got diagnosed with a lung disease. I posted about it. He is on the list to have a lung transplant. Ever since he was diagnosed, he has been pressuring me to get married. I thought that was more of a reason not to bet married.His chances aren't good either way.
I was going to go ahead and marry him for him, but I just can't do it. I don't think it is right for him to expect that out of me. Do you think it is right to marry someone out of sympathy? I don't. Marriage is hard enoug without an added obstacle like sickness, and then we wouldn't be able to have children because of his disease.
When I get married, I want to have a family. I want to have children and grandchildren, and to have my husband with me for life.
I read Lucy's post on what she and her husband went through soon after they got married,and it scared me. She was brave and courageous, and I think it was her courage that helped him get through his illness, but I am not like Lucy. I have my own problems that I go through in life, without dealing with all the extra baggage that comes with an illness.
It is my life, and I have to decide how I want to live it, and no one else can make those choices for me. I have to decide what is right for me. This is what I have chosen. I am going to go back to school. I have always wanted to do something in design. I am not sure yet, if if is Interial decorating, because I have always been interested in that, or if it is designing clothes.
I have always designed and made my own clothes. It has been like a hobby to me. Still, I know a person can make a decent living at it. I have no aspirations of being big in the fashion scene, I just want to know enough that I might be able to get a job doing it.
I would be interested in your thoughts on the subject if you wished to share. Oh and also, I told crybabylu I was going to start blogging again and she told me to share with you all, that she misses you and wishes you the best..
Thanks for commenting, Rusty. I remember you coming in with a bang and leaving with a bang! It used to be fun around here, but I am not having much fun, especially without my friends. Thought I would just deposit some thoughts here now and then. What brings you back here?
Thank you for understanding, Blue. It is really sad without him, but it was sad with him too.