• kumarilata said on Apr 13, 2008....

  I don't know how many of you were aware that David and I were suppose to be married on my birthday on April 21st. But, it is now not going to happen.  In fact, we are even together anymore.

  There have been lots of problems from the time he got diagnosed with a lung disease.  I posted about it. He is on the list to have a lung transplant. Ever since he was diagnosed, he has been pressuring me to get married. I thought that was more of a reason not to bet married.His chances aren't good either way.

  I was going to go ahead and marry him for him, but I just can't do it. I don't think it is right for him to expect that out of me. Do you think it is right to marry someone out of sympathy? I don't. Marriage is hard enoug without an added obstacle like sickness, and then we wouldn't be able to have children because of his disease.

  When I get married, I want to have a family. I want to have children and grandchildren, and to have my husband with me for life.

  I read Lucy's post on what she and her husband went through soon after they got married,and it scared me.  She was brave and courageous, and I think it was her courage that helped him get through his illness, but I am not like Lucy.  I have my own problems that I go through in life, without dealing with all the extra baggage that comes with an illness.

  It is my life, and I have to decide how I want to live it, and no one else can make those choices for me. I have to decide what is right for me.  This is what I have chosen. I am going to go back to school. I have always wanted to do something in design. I am not sure yet, if if is Interial decorating, because I have always been interested in that, or if it is designing clothes.

  I have always designed and made my own clothes. It has been like a hobby to me.  Still, I know a person can make a decent living at it. I have no aspirations of being big in the fashion scene, I just want to know enough that I might be able to get a job doing it.

  I would be interested in your thoughts on the subject if you wished to share.  Oh and also, I told crybabylu I was going to start blogging again and she told me to share with you all, that she misses you and wishes you the best..

• rustydiamond said on Apr 14, 2008....

  I met you and Dave my first day here at Soul Cast and you seemed to be a happy couple, but if all of this was going on in your mind, I don't think you had much choice but to call the wedding off. Marriage can be a beautiful thing, but it has a lot of obstacles to overcome.

• bluegum said on Apr 14, 2008....

  i think  you would be wise to put this wedding off with what you have said it would be wrong for both of you.....you seem to have given a lot of thought to the relationship and to get married would be wrong imo..
   
  blue.

• kumarilata said on Apr 15, 2008....

  Thanks for commenting, Rusty. I remember you coming in with a bang and leaving with a bang!   It used to be fun around here, but I am not having much fun, especially without my friends. Thought I would just deposit some thoughts here now and then. What brings you back here?

  Thank you for understanding, Blue.  It is really sad without him, but it was sad with him too.

• crybabylu said on Apr 16, 2008....

  hello, Kim? How are you doing about now? PJ said you came by the other night and I was over to cindylu's, so how is everything,now that you have had, what is it, a week now?

• kumarilata said on Apr 18, 2008....

  Hi Dee. I am alright! I'm glad it is over. You know I am. I have been wanting to break it off for sometime, and the closer we got to the date, the sicker my stomach ached. Sorry to say that, but it is true, and I feel very relieved.

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