• cornflakegirl said on Aug 09, 2006....

  starlightstarbright, my thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family. i don't know how i would feel in your mother's situation. at the same time, i feel as though she probably wouldn't want it any other way. please keep us posted on everything. cherish the time you have with your family and friends, and know that your father will always be there to watch over you.

• tifa said on Aug 10, 2006....

  I'm not married and far from getting there. But, I think your mother is strong for doing this and I don't think she'd want to sleep somewhere else. They'll be sharing their bed until the very last moment, "till death do us part". I'll pray for you and your family. Be strong, you'll get through it. =)

• tifa said on Aug 10, 2006....

  what's your father's name? I'll send a prayer request to my radio station.

• ALIENated said on Aug 10, 2006....

  My dad died last summer after years of fighting some weird kind of lung cancer the doctors had never seen before and never truly identified. I spent some quality time with him during the last five or six months of his life. I had a lot more time with my dad than you have had with yours (if you are in your 20s), and it was a hard deal for me. So I know it will be really hard for you. Death is something we all have in common. It awaits us all. I got some comfort in knowing that my dad would no longer be in pain. Now I am the one in pain. Blessings to you and your family.

• starlightstarbright said on Aug 10, 2006....

  tifa: My father's name is Larry. Thanks so much for your kind words.

• allaroundgirl said on Aug 10, 2006....

  starlight my prayers go out to you and your family. You and your family have to be strong now. Remember your father in better days and know that its okay to cry. As for your question, I think at first it would be hard to sleep there but I might be able to come to terms with it eventually. I guess it would depend on the years shared together. Be strong, put yourself, your mother and father in God's hands.

• starlightstarbright said on Aug 10, 2006....

  allaroundgirl: Thanks for your kind words. I just sat down and talked with my mother today about her bed. She said that she wants to buy a new one after my father passes, because it has bad memories in it. Also, I finally got her to agree to take my big screen tv and washing machine. She really needed new ones, so I was glad she finally agreed to take them. It's been hard on everyone, including my fiance, and I'm just glad that we are finally getting some sort of closure.

• secretlife said on Aug 10, 2006....

  Having the courage to let your father die at home in his own bed is quite a statement about your mom. I think anyone would rather die in their home than in a hospital or rehab center or nursing home.... I applaud her. I wouldn't feel funny about sleeping in the bed that someone I loved slept in and passed away on- The best thing you can do is stay together as a family and get thru this time together. Nothing really helps but the passage of time-

• secretlife said on Aug 10, 2006....

  Having the courage to let your father die at home in his own bed is quite a statement about your mom. I think anyone would rather die in their home than in a hospital or rehab center or nursing home.... I applaud her. I wouldn't feel funny about sleeping in the bed that someone I loved slept in and passed away on- The best thing you can do is stay together as a family and get thru this time together. Nothing really helps but the passage of time-

• Alyss said on Aug 11, 2006....

  I shall be keeping you and your family in my thoughts. I firmly believe, having watched my father spend his last days and hours in hospital, that being able to spend ones final moments at home has got to be for the best.

• starlightstarbright said on Aug 11, 2006....

  Unfortunately, things took a turn for the worst. My father is declining at a rapide speed, and we worry that he might not even make it through the weekend. I came up to my parents' house yesterday to spend the weekend with them. He is going into a hospice on Tuesday. I will go home Sunday and will return on Tuesday to make sure he gets in there okay. I think I am showing that even though I moved out of state, I am still available during times of crisis, and that means a lot.

• secretlife said on Aug 11, 2006....

  starlightstarbright: It absolutely shows that you are available. And I'm sure your presence means the world to both of your parents. I wish you strength.

• starlightstarbright said on Aug 11, 2006....

  Thanks, secretlife. I greatly appreciate your kind words. I originally had a job interview on Tuesday, but the employer was kind enough to allow me to come in the following week instead. I'm coming to see that the world is a better place than the media makes it out to be.

• CreativeWoman said on Aug 11, 2006....

  Starlight, My heart goes out to you. I know what you are going through. I've been there too. After it's over and some time passes you will feel good that you kept him where he wanted to be for as long as you could. I'll be praying for you and your family.

• Root said on Aug 14, 2006....

  I am sorry he has to suffer this way. Glad hospice is there to help give him a compassionate ending. Sing the song of his life as best you can through the tears. Huges heart prayers to you and your family.

• tonka said on Aug 14, 2006....

  StarlightStarbright, my heart goes out to you in prayer and in soulcast fellowship. I can feel your pain because I've been through that valley before. Mine was not my dad but my son. He was hospitalised for over a week, diagnosed as it were for measles. He gave up the ghost eventually in my own hands. I took the corpse home same night to pay my last respect to his departed soul. As a matter of fact, I carried him on my own shoulders into my car and drove home. The next morning I went to inform some of my cousins who helped me take the corpse for burial. Why I'm I narrating all this? Just to let you know that death is a necessary end. It comes when we are least prepared for it. In the case of my son, I didn't cry because that would mean holding on to his soul, not letting go. My son actually gave me a sign when he passed away. Just be strong and be prepared for the inevitable. Crying won't solve the problem. You need to be there for your mother and the rest members of the family. Well, your mother sleeping on the bed that she used to share with your dad, doesn't really matter if one can banish fear. Besides, there's nothing to fear. The worst thing to fear, they say is fear itself. If I was afraid of the dead, I wouldn't have carried my son home on my shoulders to the car when there were nurses that could help do that for me. I just showed how deeply I missed him. Be strong for everyone.

• cornflakegirl said on Aug 14, 2006....

  tonka, your story has really touched my heart and i wanted to thank you for sharing it with us. it shows how loving you are as a parent and how courageous you were as a grieving mother. my condolences go out to you and your family. starlighstarbright... please keep us updated with everything. hope you are well, and that you are surrounding yourself with close friends and family. *HUGS*

• tonka said on Aug 14, 2006....

  Cornflakegirl, thanks for the praisesong! I really didn't think it would have that kind of impact on you and others. Well, that's why we are on soulcast, to help ourselves solve our little life riddles. Thanks once again for believing, and for your condolences.

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