I had a very bizarre drive to work this morning. Now, you all know I live in a city where pretty much anything goes and weirdos are a dime a dozen. So that must mean my drive this morning was really weird if it registered on my strangeness radar!
I live pretty close to where I work, so it doesn't usually take me that long to get there. So keep in mind that all of these things happened during a 15-20 minute drive.
I'm driving along and the first thing I see is a car accident. I don't think anyone was hurt badly because there were no ambulances and people were just standing around. But the airbag in this truck deployed and the horn was blaring constantly. It was really freaking loud and annoying and I had to listen to it for what seemed liked forever because the traffic was stopped so everyone could stare at the wreck.
But whatever. No big deal. You see that sort of stuff all the time. I kept driving. I chuckled at the people walking down the street. Namely some woman wearing bright turquoise jogging pants, fluorescent pink leg warmers, and a bright yellow tank top with no bra. And she was running. Or bouncing, was more like it. And she had a headband like Olivia Newton John from that old movie about the exercising. I just kept thinking, "let's get physical....physical....I wanna get physical!" You know the song, right?
I suppose I wouldn't mind seeing boobies bouncing down the street first thing in the morning, but her outfit! And she wasn't exactly in tip top shape either. Which makes sense that she was running and trying to get herself together. But her boobs weren't the only things bouncing. So it was more comical than Baywatch babes running down the beach.
Then I almost ran over a guy dressed as an extra large mocha frappachino advertising some coffee place. He was standing on the corner dancing and I went to turn past him, and he fell off the curb! That's what he gets for trying to moonwalk in a frappachino costume. That's what he was doing. He moonwalked off the curb and fell over. I felt bad for the dude because what a fucked up job that is. And he couldn't get up either. Luckily he had a handler or someone with a stack of coupons standing with him, and they picked him back up again before I, or someone else, ran him over.
Then I continued on towards work. I saw smoke up ahead though. Like A LOT of smoke. And it was black and really smelly. As I got closer, I saw flames shooting into the air too. Someone's Ford Taurus was on fire in a parking lot. That baby was really burning! But there was no one around so I didn't know what to do about it. So I called 911 and reported it. But luckily they said a few other people had called and the firemen were on their way. When I drove past, you could actually feel the heat wave because the flames were so intense. I guess it caught fire and the person just walked away. I hope there wasn't a body in there. I didn't stop to check that. But even if I did, it would have been too late. I'm pretty sure it was an abandoned car though.
Then I get up the street and I'm almost to work. But this big delivery truck looking thing pulls out in front of me. I thought it had pictures of produce or something on the back of it. But as I got closer, I realized that I was staring at a huge billboard with a dead baby on it! My God! How disgusting is that? In fact, the entire truck was covered with pictures of aborted fetuses. And then I saw protesters on the street corner holding up signs with dead babies on them too. And I'm talking really graphic pictures.
I don't want to get into a debate about whether or not abortion is right or wrong. But how in the hell can you justify plastering pictures of dead babies in public like that, where anyone, children included, can see them? It's disgusting and completely wrong. Adults shouldn't have to look at that, but what about the kids? This is a busy street and it's filled with families taking kids to school. I think it's horrible and goes beyond the freedom to demonstrate for a cause. It was disturbing for me to have those images in my head. Which I guess is what they wanted. But I don't see why I need to be subjected to that because it isn't going to compel me to join their cause. It just makes me think they're a bunch of sicko freaks who probably bomb clinics in their spare time too.
But finally I got to work and everything was fine. But wow, what a drive! All kinds of weird stuff. Or at least it seemed like it to me. It was like driving through a hellish dream or something. Nothing made sense. Dancing coffee cups, 1980's fashion jogger jiggling, dead babies, car fires. What next??
Anyway, so that was my morning commute today. Never a dull moment in LA.
evil_twin posted on Apr 09, 2008
| views: 376
Comments
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skald said on Apr 09, 2008....
I agree about the dead babies. It is disgusting and no one should have to look at that least of all children. On the other had your drive to work was like a movie. lol What a morning. -
Twylarants said on Apr 09, 2008....
Jeez, Kyle! I'm so close to work I don't even get off the shoulder of the highway, and all I see is the weather sign thing that always says 33C, no matter how cold it is.
Those anti-abortionists do that here one Sunday every August. Hundreds of them line the highway waving signs and yelling at drivers. It's very distracting when you're doing 55 mph and they step into the road to wave their sign at you. -
pickersplock said on Apr 09, 2008....
I'm on the highway my entire trip to work, so I don't get to see the weirdos, like you do! LOL -
PAPERBACKWRITER said on Apr 09, 2008....
bookmarking
coming back. . .!!!
will just make a peanut butter sandwich. . .
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the_infernal_optimist said on Apr 09, 2008....
Boy, you really did have a freakish drive! That's hilarious about the frapp guy falling over (but I'm really glad he didn't get hurt or run over).
And yeahhh...there was a demonstration on campus once with similarly graphic (and huge) pictures of the same stuff, and it was right outside one of the dining areas. Gross and grosser, not to mention just plain wrong. Even if I don't like abortion, I would never condone that kind of demonstration. It's vile. Ugh. Just...no.
I'm glad you made it to work safe and sound!
~Infernal
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uniquely-ironic said on Apr 09, 2008....
There never seems to be a shortage of weirdness in California. Your commute was extra freaky though. One of my neighbors (Dude!) wears a lot of tie die and has long hair, so I always feel a little bit 60s. Luckily most of my commute is spent trying to make sure I don't get run over on the highway in my little Kia. -
Zayda said on Apr 09, 2008....
Are you sure that wasn't a morning commute through the twilight zone instead of hell? -
evil_twin said on Apr 09, 2008....
skald--I agree that no one should have to look at that stuff. It was horrible. But the rest of my drive was certainly interesting!
twyla--You really work close to home huh? That's convenient. And yes, I hate those stupid protesters. They are distracting, especially when their pictures are so gross.
pickers--We have weirdos on our highways too, but not as much!
paper--See you soon.....
Infernal--The demonstrators are just over the line, in my opinion. If they want to protest, then they can hold up signs with WORDS on them. I don't wanna see that stuff! I didn't do anything wrong, so why am I being punished with the images? *sigh*
uniquely--There definitely is no shortage of weirdness out here. But this really did set some sort of record for the most off the wall stuff in one commute!
zayda--It felt like the Twilight Zone!
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wombat said on Apr 09, 2008....
You never cease to amaze me! If my morning was as eventful as this, I wouldn't mind getting up. People being in accidents and sick protesters aside--this was another post that I enjoyed reading by the always interesting evil twin! The most exciting thing I saw on the way to work was a flock of geese and a State Trooper who gave me the eye for speeding, but maybe he was late for his coffee stop. -
Lucytorial said on Apr 09, 2008....
I don't think I coudl cope, my drive to work is through cane fields, a small entrance to town I see eagles soaring over the cane, a 360 degree view of green rainforest and mountain ranges... cars??? ohh I'd have a panic attack. I do when I drive through Sydney. I don't envy you at all. -
Mr_Box said on Apr 09, 2008....
I hate those abortion protesters. I think it's disgusting too. They shouldn't be allowed to show those pictures in public.But the rest of your story is actually amusing. Especially the dancing frappachino guy and the jogger. That's funny.I remember one of my friends in high school used to have a job being the Happy Star at Carl's Jr. He hated that damn job. But I thought it was hilarious.I didn't see anything interesting when I was driving around today. You live in a more entertaining part of town! -
ugly-stephie said on Apr 09, 2008....
A moonwalking frappacino LOL - that's the funniest thing I've heard all day. It sounds like a good plot for an episode of The Office! Michael Scott could be driving back to Dundler Mifflin and come across all these weird and innapropriate occurences.I live in Melbourne, Australia, and some years ago now a security guard was shot dead by an anti abortion protester outside a private practice that performs them. People get very riled up about abortion, and I'm comfortable with everyone having their opinions and beliefs, but like you evil I don't think daily commuters (especially children) should be subjected to such graphic imagery. -
evil_twin said on Apr 09, 2008....
wombat--Thank you :-) I'm glad you enjoyed reading this. I saw some geese this morning too, but they got overshadowed by all the other stuff happening!
Lucy--It sounds beautiful where you are. Not quite as entertaining visually, but definitely prettier and more serene!
Mr. Box--I remember the Happy Star guy! Only I don't remember his name. But I can see his face in my head. He used to talk about how little kids would yank on his star points or kick him. You couldn't pay me enough to do that job.
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evil_twin said on Apr 09, 2008....
ugly-stephie--It does sound like something you'd see on a TV show huh? It was a strange morning! I understand what the protesters are trying to do, but it's just completely inappropriate to show those pictures. I wish they'd stop doing it. -
wishyouwerehere said on Apr 10, 2008....
This was funny - except for the truck with the graphic pictures on it. That's just plain wrong. Regardless of people's passion for the cause, the ends does not justify the means.I felt for the frappuccino guy, though - when I just started college, I used to work a lot of odd jobs to scrape up money to pay for school. I had a brief stint as a dancing taco, handing out flyers for this Mexican restaurant. There's something I wouldn't care to repeat. I cannot even begin to tell you how many men asked to touch my tomatoes!Thanks for the smiles, evil_twin! -
-ocean- said on Apr 10, 2008....
hehe, well at least it takes boredom out of the commute! It's not like you get to see moonwalking frappacinos everyday of the week!!
Quite the adventure!
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PAPERBACKWRITER said on Apr 10, 2008....
I once told you, one dream of yours reminded me of a David Lynch´s film.
This cruise through your part of the town is like a film from Robert Altman.
:)
paper ~
p.s. hope you are well dear friend, as Natty. . .(((hugs)))
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evil_twin said on Apr 10, 2008....
wishyouwerehere--You were a dancing taco? That's hilarious! I don't think I'd be able to handle a job like that. But I got a chuckle out of the idea of men asking to touch your tomatoes :-P
ocean--You definitely don't see moonwalking frappachinos everyday! I felt bad when he fell down, but I couldn't help but laugh too.
paper--My day was like a bizarre movie short! Things have been okay with me....and Natty is doing well. I need to make her stop in here and say hi to everyone. She just hasn't been in a Soulcasting mood lately....
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quietone said on Apr 10, 2008....
only you kyle only you!!! You live a very interesting life!! I think you should write a book... keep all these happenings and make a fortune!! What a trip to work! OMG!!
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queenparanoia said on Apr 10, 2008....
dude, that was really weird... =) -
silverwhisper said on Apr 13, 2008....
that's so very screwed up! say kyle, maybe you should consider getting a camcorder to record some of the wackiness you encounter? you'd get tons of hits on youtube... :D
ed -
allswell said on Apr 13, 2008....
wow...that's crazy! I bet it never gets boring living in LA. I don't know if i moved there if i would be more facinated or scared....remember this is coming from a small town southern girl.....nothing strage ever really happens here.
alls:)
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evil_twin said on Apr 13, 2008....
quietone--I should write a book! That would be fun :-)
queen--It was weird!
silver--If I had known the drive was going to be that interesting, I could have mounted a camera on my dashboard like a police car!
alls--I think you'd just find our crazy people here entertaining. Most of them are harmless and just good for a laugh! I think I'd be really bored living someplace else....
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