It is truly a wonder that my ex-wife, the mother of my children doesn’t hate me more than she already does now.
I have given her the greatest and yet worst gift a man could ever give a woman, twin boys. My daughter the oldest of our kids is more like her mom, though very devoted to her Daddy since we had a great deal of time together before the boys and the divorce even happened.
My boys, Ben and Jon are of course in many ways like most sons, they are their father’s sons. In many personality traits they have the attitude and stubborn hard-headed attitude of their father. This has to drive their mom up the wall many days as she didn’t like those traits in me after a while.
She hated my immature demeanor and my stubborn mannerisms that especially little Jon has seemed to have taken on more and more each and every time I have been able to see them. I giggle when I see him and remember how I was told I acted at that age, my parents little devil was the word most commonly used I believe full of myself and knowing how to get over on my mom too.
Mommy wrapped around my finger, the cry and puppy dog eyes were unstoppable to get my way and out of trouble. And Jon has not missed a beat when it comes to both, several times when I have sat him on the couch in punishment. The puppy dog eyes and pouty lip calling out Mommy brings her to his early release every time, little stinker.
Ben has more of my hard head and stubborn streak in him than I ever could have imagined in a son. He shows a lot of both me and his grandfather on his mom’s side. Some good and some bad but always with a crap eating grin and mischievous look in his glass covered eyes. Like his father he was wearing glasses at a very young age which formed a bond between him and I, not too mention an overwhelming desire to sound like my father, “Where are your glasses?”
Both had issues like I did with the potty training which honestly I was rather glad I missed this part of their development. The stubborn streak was expressing itself in pound of the foot and a thick glare while filling their shorts knowing full well the wooden spoon from Mommy was going to happen as punishment. All the while they followed the directions of “Don’t tell Mom, just go when you have to go.” and they did often only failing to understand at age 4-5.5 that it meant in the bathroom not their pants. And I had not given approval to the use of the spoon it was not my choice.
Often these two when I am around are full of spite and anger at my not being present the majority of the time and angrier when I have to leave. I do not see them often enough and these days it seems to be taking its toll on our bond with or without help from their mom.
I want them to no longer be used as pawns in the divorce relationship between her and me. But, I am struggling to control this issue as I can only influence the decisions I make.