• onlymimi said on Apr 07, 2008....

  Hello, Hispet!  Nice to meet you.
   
  You picked excellent posts to read, both by collared_whore and collared_whore's_Master.  I have missed reading them.  They haven't posted since before the new year.
   
  A submissive can be a masochist, or not.  I am a submissive, but I am not a masochist, nor is my Master a sadist.  Giving and receiving physical pain plays only a very minor role in our relationship.  You can be a masochist without being a submissive.  There are many different flavors of submission, and each of us has to discover what suits us best. 
   
  In all honesty, I wouldn't ever knowingly displease my Master.  He is my friend as well as my Dominant, and I wouldn't disrespect Him like that.  He wouldn't put up with it for long either.  I also have a streak of smart ass running through my personality, and I do tease Him -- gently.  And never with the idea in mind that I want to get punished.
   
  Are you new to D/s?  If you are, I can recommend some books that are full of good information.
   
  The Loving Dominant by John Warren
  SM101 by Jay Wiseman
  Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns by Philip Miller and Molly Devon
   
  I've read more than once that physical pain is not an effective punishment for a pain slut.  Interesting, eh?
   
  Well.  Sorry to be so long-winded.  I'm hoping sweet_rose chimes in on this.  She has a lot of wisdom to offer.
   
   

• blogslut said on Apr 07, 2008....

  Hi HisPet, and welcome! :-)
   
  I agree that a submissive and a masochist aren't necessarily one in the same, but it does sound like you are on both sides of that fence.
   
  I'd also agree that pain isn;t really an effective punishment if you enjoy pain - maybe you should think about adding some pain related tasks under the guise of just regular play, or perhaps even as a reward??
   
  Maybe to test your submissiveness a little bit, maybe your punishments should be something altogether different - there are a variety of things that can be used as punishment, from orgasm denial, to a task - perhaps public, perhaps private - that may cause embarressment and/or humiliation, depending on the limits of what you want to do.
   
  Although I know that punishment of any nature can cause a sexy slutty pleasing tingle in a submissive - I know it definitely does within me, I also believe that punishments should be more of the things you don;t like, as it then teaches you to be more obedient, knowing that if you are that way, you will get all of the things that you like rather than those that you don't. We're not big into pain, so pain is used as a punishment for me, although it is used in play as well, just to a lesser extent. If I were more into pain, I think we'd use it more in play, and therefore do other, more limit pushing things, as punishments.
   
  That's just my little opinions anyway.
   
  Take care - hope to read more from you in the future - it's always nice to find new submissive female blogs on here.
   
  Blogslut xx

• HisPet19 said on Apr 07, 2008....

  onlymimi,
           thanks for being my first comment!  and thank you so much for sharing!  i saw those books on a different website, but didn't think too much into it.  i think ill go back to it...yes i am a little bit of a newcummer...lol...sound new do i? 
   
  long-winded? never, i love all the advice and all the questions!  your 6th paragraph...that is pretty cool.  i definitely agree.  i love reading all three of T/their posts.  i feel i can really learn a lot here...it's really comfortable and E/everyone's nice.  i also read pusscat and Featherpet, i love their blogs as well!  im new so im tryin to catch up on their blogs...(i have plenty to read)
                                                                                                           ***Hispet19***

• HisPet19 said on Apr 07, 2008....

  blogslut,
             you had some really good ideas in your comment!  we've played with humiliation and i never thought of using it as a punishment.  oh i love your "little opinions"  and i appreciate them.
                                                                     ***Hispet19***
                                                                   ***ill be writing***

• HerMaster21 said on Apr 07, 2008....

  i got an idea
   

• sweet_rose said on Apr 07, 2008....

  Dear pet,

   

  “(Hope it doesn’t sound too stupid to those of you with much more experience in a D/s relationship than I have).  And I begin... “  

   

  You’ll never sound stupid. Who are we to judge? We will just offer opinions; some of us stand further down the road in our journey. If we can keep you from “tripping” we will most certainly try.

   

  “It makes me think about what my motivation truly was... where did I fit in BDSM?  Was it the threat of pain?  Or that I displeased him?   Can it even be since I enjoyed the punishment?   I loved pain, but only to a certain extent...

  Sometimes I’d even be a little SAM, (smart ass masochist)   (when I learned that I thought it was so cute), just so I did get “in trouble".   I knew this displeased him, and sometimes, by the end of my punishment, I wished I hadn't...well...kind of…” 

  Some Dominants like a girl who is a SAM. But like with anything, there is a time and a place. Is it causing Him embarrassment?  Are you really screaming for more attention? Do you really need more attention? Are you being needy and greedy?  Has HE made the rules clear to you? Or is negotiated it into the relationship and you would have full “right” to act as SAM. Or are you topping from the bottom, which is the worst. Are you manipulating Him to get the pain/attention you desire? Those are just things to think about.

  “so frankly I really didn’t care too much and still did it anyways just to get punished (oh plus it was fun!)”

  ohhh boy pet.. That is topping from the bottom. It doesn’t mean you’re not submissive, it may mean you need Him to advice you of your place as a submissive. (Again I don’t know what Your Dominant tolerates) Steve used to have to remind me once in a while. One look and I knew I stepped over the boundaries. Honestly in the real time community that would be frowned upon. A Dominant may choose to stay away from that kind of issue. J

   “I’ve thought of this a little, because I like to be submissive, but how submissive is really the question I’m thinking...  Am I just submissive to have an excuse to receive pain when I’m not? I really do love the feeling of being submissive, but I am a "smart ass" by nature and I just love turning that into a "red ass"...”

  The question is pet, can you submit, not are you submissive. You can claim to be an artist, but all you know how to do is draw, you may not have the faintest idea how to paint a master piece. What a shame that would be pet, if all you learned was how to draw a pretty picture……

  Think about it…..

  rose

• HisPet19 said on Apr 07, 2008....

  rose,
          wow...E/everyone on here said you were so very helpful...that seems like an understatement now...ill be reading this comment over and over and really thinking about what you wrote for a while......thank you soo much! 
                                                                                                    

• sweet_rose said on Apr 07, 2008....

  You are very welcome. Enjoy the journey! :-)
   
  rose

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