I have to go to the family doctor on Monday. It's just for the normal checkup I have to have for the diabetes, but just the act of waiting for the appointment gets me nervous. To begin with, I hate doctor's offices. They are infested with germs from sick people. You couldn't pay me to touch a magazine in there. Think of all the sniffling and hacking. Then watch someone lick their fingers and turn the page. You don't know how that gives me the heebie jeebies.
I wish I could hold my breath the whole time I'm in there and then dip myself in hand sanitizer on the way out.
When they take me back to the little exam room, I look around and read all the posters that make a worrier like me wonder if I've got what they're describing. All the symptoms are so generic, I figure anybody could have it. I sit there and convince myself I'm only allowing myself to have one condition at a time. :-)
Then my mind wanders to thinking about how well they really clean that place. A sick person was surely in that little confined space before me. I don't smell any Lysol. Have I already breathed in their particular set of nasty germs?
Somehow, I don't consider myself sick. Go figure.
You have probably guessed that I am afraid of germs. I always have been, but it's worse now that I had that staph infection that made me say bye bye to my big toe. I cringe at the thought of being anywhere near germs of that caliber. I figure the doctor's office is a breeding ground for them. You don't know who has what and who has something that they just didn't mention to the doctor because they didn't think it was important. Maybe it won't send their body into a tailspin, but it might mine.
I truly get all worked up about even setting foot in there. I will do it and I will be fine. The inner struggle inside me will be tremendous though. No one will ever know that except for me ... and you.
Just to be on the safe side, I think I'll stash about a gallon of hand sanitizer in the car for when I come out.
CW
CreativeWoman posted on Apr 04, 2008
| views: 1026
Comments
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uniquely-ironic said on Apr 04, 2008....
I'm sure you're not alone in worrying about such things. Some people are positively phobic about germs and doctors. I wish I had a suggestion, but sadly I do not. Nut job that I am, I consider doctor visits a golden opportunity to discuss the little "conditions" that crop up between visits. I'm pretty sure most doctors can't wait to be done with me. :) -
the_infernal_optimist said on Apr 04, 2008....
Hand sanitizer is definitely a good idea (and don't touch your face while you're there if you can help it).
I'm not a germaphobe or afraid of the doctor, but I loathe going and refuse to do so unless I absolutely can't get out of it. If it hadn't been for my kids, I wouldn't have been at all in the past four years or so.
~Infernal
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GrapeKoolaid said on Apr 04, 2008....
I dislike doctor's offices as well. It's the only place where you set up an appointment, show up on time, and they make you wait another half an hour... What gives?
It's like they're trying to tell us that their time is more important than ours. Hogwash!!!
I'm not really a germaphobe either, but there are things that I find unsettling about hospitals and buffet restaurants. For the same reasons, actually.
Hope your visit goes well.
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CreativeWoman said on Apr 04, 2008....
Uni,
I will have my journal with me. That's got all my questions from the last visit until now. I'm sure she'll be glad to be rid of me too. But, hey, I'm paying her. :-)
Infernal,
Same here. I would never ever ever go to the doctor if this hadn't happened to me. I have a little fear mixed in though that you don't.
Grape,
I don't like sitting there and breathing that germy air any longer than I have to either. They want me to come 15 minutes early this time too. Why not just make that my appointment time if they want me to fill out more paperwork. I was just there in December for crying out lout.
I understand about hospitals and buffet restaurants too. Don't get me started about public bathrooms. I'm not fond of those germs either.
Thanks for the well wishes on the dr's visit.
CW
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beyondtheveil said on Apr 04, 2008....
CW- Although I've never had a problem or fear of doctors, my blood pressure is always up when they take it. I don't mind needles, tests, any of that. I think its because it pisses me off to have to go in the first place. Then there is the waiting, both in the lobby and then in the examination room.
If they would serve wine before going in, it would be much better.
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CreativeWoman said on Apr 04, 2008....
Beyond,
I like your idea of wine before going in. Could make it more relaxed. I think a good portion of my fear comes from lack of trust. Sometimes I fear the doctor is just guessing. It's not a good feeling. Maybe that's just my fear talking though.
CW
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rustydiamond said on Apr 04, 2008....
hate the doctors office, always get sick going there. -
CreativeWoman said on Apr 04, 2008....
rusty,
I worry about getting sick from there too. I really hate going.
CW
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lfbno7 said on Apr 04, 2008....
I avoid doctors and don't go for regular checkups. I only go if an illness has me concerned and I think maybe I'll lose too much time at work if I don't get something from a doc to knock it out of me. Last time I did that, he didn't give me anything anyway, and the only result was that I had to pay him twenty bucks.
One extra problem is that since I'm over 50 and a guy, if I go for a checkup the doc wants to stick his finger up my ass. That's something I can do without. It's not one of my 10 favorite things to do.
I really don't care about the magazines and the germs. I just don't think about that. -
evil_twin said on Apr 04, 2008....
I am not a fan of doctors office's either. I'm not really that worried about germs, but I am a little. Especially if there are people hacking up their lungs in the waiting room. I always wonder if they've got TB or something and don't realize it yet, since they waiting to see the doctor to get their diagnosis!
But I mostly just hate doctors because I don't like being poked or stuck with needles or told that I have a horrible illness. I'm paranoid and I'd almost rather not know.
-evil_twin LA
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wombat said on Apr 04, 2008....
For some reason, I never think about these things while I am there, unless someone is hacking or sniffling all over the place! But of course you are right---if you want to pick up a germ--then go where they are brought in as if they were being raffled off as a door prize! -
CreativeWoman said on Apr 04, 2008....
lfb,
I wouldn't go either if I didn't need to keep up with my medicine for the diabetes. I would want to pass on the finger prodding in your case too.
et,
I don't worry so much about the needles, but the germs get to me.
wombat,
Exactly...they might as well raffle the germs off. They are free for the taking anyway.
CW
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seawitch said on Apr 04, 2008....
I never liked going to the dentist. He was a pedaphile. -
CreativeWoman said on Apr 04, 2008....
seawitch,
That's a terrible thing to endure. :-(
CW
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lfbno7 said on Apr 05, 2008....
Another terrible thing to endure at the dentist's office is to listen to him talk about his golfing. Because he charges so damn much that you paid for his lifestyle. -
CreativeWoman said on Apr 05, 2008....
lfb,
I hate going to the dentist almost worse than going to the doctor. I know it's going to hurt and I am a real big pansy when it comes to pain. I guess he/she deserves the money considering all the bad breath they have to be knocked out by. Some sort os hazard pay, I'm guessing. ;-)
CW
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silverwhisper said on Apr 05, 2008....
am i the only person who doesn't fear going to the doctor?
some of you guys mentioned that you hate waiting and that's understandable. however, consider that they sometimes have patients coming in with an urgent medical issue. it isn't that the doctor's time is more valuable than yours: it's that someone else might be in a serious predicament.
ed -
Alyss said on Apr 05, 2008....
I loathe visiting the doctors. I have real, verifiable 'white coat syndrome' to the extent that they cannot get a representative blood pressure reading at all. Last time they took it I was apparently dead as it was so high and one time they wouldn't let me leave until they'd run an ECG.
There's a sign at my doctor' that says if you 'are more than 5 minutes late for your appt you will not, under any circumstances be seen' but we are always kept waiting with no recourse but to sit and take it or leave and then be written up as a failed attender which results in them refusing to give appts at all.
I Have no problems with waiting for legitimate reasons but when it is just so the doc can have a cup of coffee I get rather pissed off, especially if I'm there with very unwell children who need to be back in bed!
The dentist doesn't bother me anywhere near so much.
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CreativeWoman said on Apr 05, 2008....
Ed,
It really isn't the waiting that bothers me so much. I do understand emergencies pop up. For me, it is mainly about the germs I fear are there too. It may be an irrational fear and probably is, but it's how I am.
Alyss,
My blood pressure is always high when I'm there too. It was high the whole time I was in the hospital as well. I wish I wasn't that way. I get filled with anxiety for some reason. I can understand how you would like to get your sick little ones in and out of the office.
CW
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RollingC said on Apr 05, 2008....
I've always disliked going to the doctor's office 'cause they almost always come up with something wrong with me and don't get me started on the Dentist's office. I finally found (through somebody else) a decent dentist that has soft hands and really looks out for you but even with him I get nervous.Rc -
CreativeWoman said on Apr 05, 2008....
Rc,
Nice to see you. :-) Don't you just wish we could reboot our bodies like we can our computers?
CW
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vacantmind said on Apr 05, 2008....
CW, you are not alone! I have hand sanitizer in my purse. I don't touch the doors and I wear a mask during flu season. I got really sick with a strep infection and spent several days in ICU. After that I am a bit paranoid about hospitals and doctor offices.
I don't think this is an irrational fear. Especially, for someone whose immune system is already compromised by a serious disease. I think you are wise for taking preemptive measures to ensure your health. Diabetes is so common that many people don't really understand the effects it can have on the body. They say "my grandmother had that, she lived to be 90!" But, they didn't see all the things that grandma did to protect herself so she could live to be 90.
This isn't to scare you! My aunt is a long time diabetic. She contracted a bacterial infection, which we believe she got while at the hospital for some bloodwork. Anyways, it caused renal failure and they never recovered. She has been on dialysis of 6 months. So, I think it is important for you to take those steps in protecting yourself. Now, she is in her 60's and I don't know your age but I think you are right on about the germs.
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CreativeWoman said on Apr 05, 2008....
vacant,
I'm in my 40's. I don't want to end up a statistic. I want to overcome what I have so badly. I know I've gotten worse about the germs since I lost my toe. I carry the hand sanitizer in my purse too. I go so far as to wipe down the handles on shopping carts with it when I'm in stores. People look at me funny, but I just don't care. I want to minimize the risk of catching anything.
I'm so sorry to hear about your aunt.
You take care of yourself. I'm glad you wear the mask.
CW
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lfbno7 said on Apr 05, 2008....
Alyss, you have a really obnoxious doctor. Is he so good that you put up with his attitude or do you have little choice due to insurance membership? It's standard to sit in a doctor's office for a long time before you are seen, and this putz complains if you are five minutes late yourself? Does he stick to his schedule, so if you have a 10:00 appointment you are in his office by 10:05? Is it a two way street on the time issue? I see by your comment that the answer is no, you are always kept waiting. How is he as a doc anyway? I'd dump him. In my area there are enough docs on my insurance that I can dump them with impunity. In NJ there are nuttin but doctors and malls. -
CreativeWoman said on Apr 05, 2008....
lfb,
You are lucky to have such a choice of doctors where you are.
CW
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lfbno7 said on Apr 05, 2008....
My wife dumped our GP because she thought he was useless, and switched us to another one on the list, then I got sick last month and the new one wouldn't give me an appointment, so I switched to one who did, and went to him, and he did nothing for me, and I gave him 20 bucks for that, and I got better. They are all five minutes from the house. -
CreativeWoman said on Apr 06, 2008....
lfb,
You really are lucky to be able to switch around. I live near a small town and we have several doctors, but they all work for the same corporation. My next option is to drive an hour to a city for more choices. I gladly do it for my endocrinologist, but for the family doctor it might be a little inconvenient. Still, I might as time goes by.
CW
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Alyss said on Apr 06, 2008....
lfbno, what you are reading is an example of the joys of the NHS system and my doctor's surgery is one of the better ones locally...
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