I have never let you see me.
You, who think you know me better than anyone,
only know the you part of me.
The me part of me lives far from you in a secret place
with gardens and magic and sweeping lawns covered in the petals of the cherry blossom trees you would never let me plant because they were too messy.
I live in a cottage by the sea
and I paint all the walls yellow and the kitchen is sunny yellow
and a breeze blows the white gauze curtains at the open windows.
And my dog chases leaves, the dog you didn’t want because you only wanted me and you.
And here I am what I need to be.
Here I know what I need to know.
If you saw me here you would wonder who I am.
You would ask for me
and I would say “no, she doesn’t live here.”
And you would go away
because I wouldn’t be what you want.
I would be me.
