Rules for my gynecologist!
1. Warm the speculum! It is a must, if you don't I will likely pee and it won't be pretty.
2. After inserting the speculum don't just let it hang out in there. Its not comfortable and I have an overwhelming urge to push it out.
3. When you open things up to take a look, you should know your facial expression says way more than you want it to, following it with a gasp was really cruel.
4. Taking out the speculum and getting one that will open me up wider is just wrong. No woman wants that! Its like asking a guy to cough while you are holding the family jewels. AGAIN, WARM IT UP!
5. My rectum is fine really, the other doctor checked it and it is all cool. At least lube your finger!
6. When you are done, don't just stare at your forms and fill in all those nasty little codes. Tell me what I want to hear and if you can't, can you at least throw in a few nice words about my snatch.
Like, Vacantmind, you have abnormal cells on your cervix but the rest of your vagina is nice and pink, the muscles are working well, it really is nice in there. If I was a cancer cell that's where I would want to be. (that would be awesome)
7. Don't leave shit out when telling me all the bad stuff. You know those little code sheets, I know the codes and the ones I don't, I CAN LOOK THEM UP!
I have more hands in or around my snatch in the past three days and I have to tell you, I'M NOT ENJOYING THIS!!!!
So, please add any rules that you would love to tell your GYN before your next appt.
