I’m closing my eyes, tightly squeezing my eyes shut
and looking for myself .
Somewhere in this darkness, as the color behind my eyelids changes from green to purple to black
I will find the girl I was before you changed me into the woman you wanted.
Do you think I’m asleep?
I live my life in the night behind my eyelids.
My world exists here, I exist here, you do not.
My friends are here, friends you would have no part of.
I have money here. And security.
I travel. I write and paint.
My house is open. It’s sunny and airy and inviting and casual and it’s all the things I am and you are not.
And it’s mine, not yours.
My time is mine, not yours.
My thoughts are mine, not yours.
My days and nights are mine, not yours.
Behind my eyelids my world is amazingly beautiful
And you are never invited there.
