• polarheart said on Mar 31, 2008....

  Paper, question 1 - can I ask you a personal question?  I saw one of your tags is "personal".
   

• PAPERBACKWRITER said on Mar 31, 2008....

  1. question
  
  answer: yesss, of course polly!
  
   :D
  

• polarheart said on Mar 31, 2008....

  Ok then!!  Question 2:
   
  Are you feeling much better / stronger in yourself i.e. in your inner being?

• PAPERBACKWRITER said on Mar 31, 2008....

  
  
  Answer 2 :
  
  Come and hold my hand
  I wanna contact the living
  Not sure I understand
  This road I've been given
  I sit and talk to God
  And he just laughs at my plans
  My head speaks a language
  I don't understand
  
  I just wanna feel
  Real love fill the home that I live in
  'Cause I got too much life
  Running thru my veins
  Going to waste
  I don't wanna die
  But I ain't keen on living either
  Before I fall in love
  I'm preparing to leave her
  
  Scare myself to death
  That's why I keep on running
  Before I've arrived
  I can see myself coming
  I just wanna feel
  Real love fill the home that I live in
  'Cause I got too much life
  Running thru my veins
  Going to waste
  And I need to feel
  Real love and the love ever after
  I can not get enough
  
  I just wanna feel
  Real love fill the home that I live in
  I got too much love
  Running thru my veins
  To go to waste
  
  I just wanna feel
  Real love and the love ever after
  There's a hole in my soul
  You can see it in my face
  It's a real big place
  
  Come and hold my hand
  I wanna contact the living
  Not sure I understand
  This road I've been given
  Not sure I understand
  Not sure I understand
  Not sure I understand
  Not sure I understand
  
  
  

• polarheart said on Mar 31, 2008....

  Gee, Paper, that speaks volumes!  I often dont feel I understand either.  Thing is that we're actually a lot stronger than what we give ourselves credit for. [[[[[[[[[[[[[[[BIG HUG]]]]]]]]]]]]]

• PAPERBACKWRITER said on Mar 31, 2008....

  
  I love you polly!
  
  ((((((((((hugs))))))))))))
  
  And for you dearest friend, a song that is very dear to me from someone who serenaded me out of my worst nightmares. . .
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  You cant manufacture a miracle
  The silence was pitiful - that day.
  And love is getting too cynical
  Passions just physical - these days
  You analyse everyone you meet
  But get no sign, the loving kind
  Every night you admit defeat
  And cry yourself blind
  
  If you cant wake up in the morning
  Cause your bed lies vacant at night
  If youre lost, hurt, tired or lonely
  Cant control it, try as you might
  May you find that love that wont leave you
  May you find it by the end of the day
  You wont be lost, hurt, tired and lonely
  Something beautiful will come your way
  
  The dj said on the radio
  Life should be stereo, each day
  And the past that cast the unsuitable
  Instead of some kind of beautiful, you just couldnt wait
  All your friends think youre satisfied
  But they cant see your soul no, no, no
  Forgot the time feeling petrified, when they lived alone
  
  
  Some kind of beautiful (will come your way)
  
  
  All your friends think youre satisfied
  But they cant see your soul no no no
  Forgot the time feeling petrified
  When they lived alone
  
  
  
  

• Mamie said on Mar 31, 2008....

  hi, here is my question, I apologize in advance if you already said this in another post. Who is never mind the quality? He sure is in love with you!

• polarheart said on Mar 31, 2008....

  Paper, thank you so much, that is so very sweet of you!  And you actually have no idea how apt that is to me right now.  Thank you very very much!

• Lucytorial said on Mar 31, 2008....

  When you look into your babies eyes, do you see the purity of your own soul? that spirit which makes you fight on? does it make you feel serene sometimes?

• PAPERBACKWRITER said on Mar 31, 2008....

  
  My pleasure dearest Polly, my pure pleasure. . .I owe you, and when my head is screwed back tightly in place I will write you an SC love letter why. . . : X
  
  __________________________________________________________________________
  
  
  LOL
  
  Awww Mamie I lurrrrrrrrrrrv you. . .l lurrrv you :D
  
  Answer 3 :
  
  . . .Indulge moi brb in 10-15 minutes. . .
  
  _________________________________________________________________________
  
  Luccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccy we are on the same time again!!!
  
  Your query made my heart squeeze. . .
  
  Answere 4 :
  
  . . .20 minutes. . .
  

• PAPERBACKWRITER said on Mar 31, 2008....

  Answer 3:
  
  Never_Mind_The_Quality
  
  He is . . .
  
  
  
  
  
  An empty street
  An empty house
  A hole inside my heart
  I'm all alone, the rooms are getting smaller
  

  I wonder how
  I wonder why
  I wonder where they are
  The days we had
  The songs we sang together
  Oh yeah
  

  And oh my love
  I'm holding on forever
  Reaching for a love that seems so far
  

  So I say a little prayer
  And hope my dreams will take me there
  Where the skies are blue to see you once again
  My love
  

  Overseas from coast to coast
  To find the place I love the most
  Where the fields are green to see you once again
  My love
  

  I try to read
  I go to work
  I'm laughing with my friends
  But I can't stop to keep myself
  From thinking
  Oh no
  

  I wonder how
  I wonder why
  I wonder where they are
  The days we had, the songs we sang together
  Oh yeah
  

  And oh my love
  I'm holding on forever
  Reaching for the love that seems so far
  

  So I say a little prayer
  And hope my dreams will take me there
  Where the skies are blue to see you once again
  My love
  

  Overseas from coast to coast
  To find the place I love the most
  Where the fields are green to see you once again
  

  To hold you in my arms
  To promise you my love
  To tell you from my heart
  You're all I'm thinking of
  

  Reaching for the love that seems so far
  

  So I say a little prayer
  And hope my dreams will take me there
  Where the skies are blue to see you once again
  My love
  

  Overseas from coast to coast
  To find the place I love the most
  Where the fields are green to see you once again
  My love
  

  Say a little prayer
  Dreams will take me there
  Where the skies are blue to see you once again
  

  Overseas from coast to coast
  To find the place I love the most
  Where the fields are green to see you once again
  My love
  
  . . .
  
  and he comes from the birthplace of this guy I admire :
  
  
  

• PAPERBACKWRITER said on Mar 31, 2008....

  
  . . .whom he admires too
  
  
  
  

• PAPERBACKWRITER said on Mar 31, 2008....

  
  we met here. . .without seeking each other. . .we found what we did not know we sought. . .
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

• PAPERBACKWRITER said on Mar 31, 2008....

  
  
  
  Now we share not only a love but a life
  
  
  

• PAPERBACKWRITER said on Mar 31, 2008....

  
  
  
  
  
  Question 4 :
  
  

  Lucytorial said about 1 hour ago.... delete block user

  When you look into your babies eyes, do you see the purity of your own soul? that spirit which makes you fight on? does it make you feel serene sometimes?
  
  Answer 4 :
  
  I was emotionally coerced  by my husband to abort. . .another story, another time - and a bonus answer. . . yes, it is his child. . .
  
  I was adviced by my psychiatrist to terminate the my pregnancy. . .for my own good. . .
  
  Mary is my hope, my salvation. . .when I look in her eyes, I see my forgiveness. . .
  
   . . .there is a story, I cannot share yet, or I may never have the courage to share. . .but yes, I believe she is an angel, I felt sent by God to show me his love. . .
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

• PAPERBACKWRITER said on Mar 31, 2008....

  
  
  . . . . . . and because you both dear Mamie & dear Lucy go to the heart of the matter, which inspires me, and I immesurably I admire. . .my gift. . .
  
  . . .my favourite ballet . . .óle!
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

• skald said on Mar 31, 2008....

  I don't have a question. Mary is a wonderful baby. Yes maybe, here is a question. Is she your first? Who were the other children on the pictures you showed before? I am still so confuse in all the SoulCasters , even though I like to follow. Never mind the quality is your love. I gather. his name in English would be Peter, I do like the Swan Lake you put in here and the video with the Van Gogh paintings. Thanks so much. 

• PAPERBACKWRITER said on Mar 31, 2008....

  
  Hi skald!
  
  Thank you so much for your comment and questions!
  
  I replied quiet late in my post Happy Easter, where you posed me the question about my girls names. . .I apologize if I did not reply right away. . .
  
  I will copy paste the reply here. . .but it will not be appropriate without the picture (and I have deleted them already from that blog : ( ). . .I will just go to my flickr and make the pics public again. . .BRB. . .
  
  but to answer the other questions first. . .
  
  
  • I will put up their picture again in a bit. . .but mention their names now. . .I have been blessed with three daughters : Jillian 8 years old, Kim Marie 5 years old and yes the youngest Mary-Tate now 4 months and 3 weeks old
    
  
  
  • yes, Pieter - as the name is commonly spelled in the Netherlands, is my love : ) . . .I would love to write about us, but at the moment I cannot focus properly, and I would not do him justice nor our story. . .
  
  
  • Swan Lake is my second favourite ballet. . .the video is The Nutcracker though, which is my all time favourite, and the girls love it the bes!!!
  
  
  • I am glad you liked the video with Van Gogh, he literally brought Piet and I together!
  
  

• PAPERBACKWRITER said on Mar 31, 2008....

  
  Here they are again dearest Skald!
  
  Jillian -8 years old, is the one cradling Mary Tate - now 4 months and 2 weeks, and Kim Marie stands behind them,is now 5 years old. : )
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

• PAPERBACKWRITER said on Mar 31, 2008....

  
  
  For you skald because you make us dream of Iceland!
  
  And to SoulCast friends, not my Swan Song but only a goodnight for now . . .
  
  keep your questions coming. . .and I´ll answer them after my deep slumber *sigh*. . .you can ask non-personal questions too btw  ; ) , lol
  
  Swan Lake
  
  
  
  
  
  

• secretlife said on Mar 31, 2008....

  your girls are beauuuuuuuutiful!
   
  my question is practical....how are you sleeping these days?

• pickersplock said on Mar 31, 2008....

  I have no questions, it's just wonderful to see you!

• gingersoul said on Mar 31, 2008....

  
  Joanna......this song is for you. I know that has alwasy had a special meaning for you.

  I dont have questions....because i know you are still looking for your answers...

  I just wanted to be here and let you know that, for me, you are one of those special souls that people hardly forget...

  You have exposed your heart with the most incredible generosity and desperation and one can only smile if you smile. {hugs}

• soleme said on Apr 01, 2008....

  The girls are all so beautiful!

  I do not have any questions,  It is good to see you back and I love the way you write, your poems are very touching.

• Lucytorial said on Apr 01, 2008....

  Joanna, you were given not just the gift of one life but of your own as well, life is so precious and special and so intertwined with others lives.... dare I say that you as a whole and complete person have been given the miracle of actually being shown just how strong life force is.
  
  I admire you paper dear, its simple, I admire you like no other, I don't look up to many people but with you I would humbly fall to my knees just to be able to say:
  
  You are so precious and I am so small yet when we talk I feel as tall and strong as you! the you I see.
  

• Lucytorial said on Apr 01, 2008....

  oopps forgot the ballet ! lurved it! 

• quietone said on Apr 01, 2008....

  hi paper... SO, so good to see you out and about... and showing off those girls of yours.  I had no idea about Quality either... but how sweet sweet of him to care so much about you and keep us posted in your absence and pass on our messages to you... no questions here.... just a {{{{{hug}}}    and a   :)

• Me-Myself&I said on Apr 01, 2008....

  hi hon! (HUG) just sending my love to you! hope today will be a good one. take care ~see ya Debbie

• GrapeKoolaid said on Apr 01, 2008....

  :)  I love these kinds of posts of yours...  So full of life, love, culture, music, sophistication... 
  
  A question?  Let's see...  I think the only question I have for you is....
  
  Can you keep a secret?  :D
  

• Mamie said on Apr 01, 2008....

  my heartfelt thanks to you, my dear Jo, for sharing that beautiful answer to me...oh and a ballet as a bonus....thanks. I love you too...that picture of your hands on Mary Tate made my tears spill over from the beauty of it...you are on the starting line...to a happily ever after....may I stand as a bridesmaid? (ballet curtsie....).

• skald said on Apr 01, 2008....

  Oh Joanna, what beautiful daughters you have and thank you so much for your answers. Thank you for putting the Swan Lake song for me . I do like Tchaikovsky very much.  I plaid a bit by him when I was playing the piano. By the way we saw the lake or little thing called Swan Lake in St. Petersburg Russia and it was such a tiny thing in a park. lol
  
  I think it must be good to live in Holland and I know Holland has friendly and good people. Luv J
  
  And yes thank you for putting the pictures back on Flickr  just for me.
  

• skald said on Apr 01, 2008....

  And I forgot to say I think the little one, the 5 year old one has a sense of humor,You can see it in her laugh. 

• PAPERBACKWRITER said on Apr 01, 2008....

  
  
  thank you dear friends!!!
  
  i´ll be replying tomorrow. . .
  
  the household was a bit busy today, & mary tate received her boosters late this afternoon. . .
  
  i will post pics of the girls here tomorrow - keep watch!
  
  
  
  

• queenparanoia said on Apr 02, 2008....

  ohmygod!!! my first question was suppose to be why is it that you and your husband are fighting but then... he wanted you to get an abortion????? why???????????

  it's okay if you dont wanna answer this....

  are you still together with your husband?

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