• quietone said on Mar 22, 2008....

  Hey hungry.... I'm not your therapist, but I am here, I care.

• nytquill17 said on Mar 22, 2008....

  Oh, do I understand how that train of thought goes.  It does make sense, to me anyway.  You have been so deprived of approval and love that you expect not to get it - from anyone.  I have learned that the psyche will always make sure its needs are met, even in perverse ways, and it will do it at the expense of the needs of all the rest of you (heart, mind, body).
  
  I care, too.  I'm no therapist, and of course in a crisis you should talk to a professional, but I can and will listen if you ever want to talk to me.  About anything.
  
  If you've never read them, may I suggest "The Drama of the Gifted Child" (Alice Miller) and "Homecoming" (John Bradshaw)?  Those were the books that helped me the most.  Of course they may not do anything for you at all, but maybe they will, so I thought it was worth mentioning :)
  
  I hope that you're okay for now.  I'll be thinking of you.
  

• Mamie said on Mar 22, 2008....

  hi there, I am so glad some of us were around a few hours ago when you needed someone to be...yay! I believe...that when the person you first call is not there, then I think it means that you have more options for finding a connection, that perhaps someone different has an answer for right then. It is not that your therapist does not care...have you heard back from her yet?

  ...so maybe you did find one or two people on line here...everybody is falling inlove with you Miss Hun and slowly but surely you will find a way to receive the love with your name on it. love, love, love, mamie

• moonriver said on Mar 22, 2008....

  Hungry girl, here's what you can do:
  
  You go buy yourself a big and thick sketchpad (you know, the 12"x18" ones, 50 leaves), and some colored marker pens.
  
  Then see if you can draw a full-body image of yourself on page 1. Make your self-drawing fat if you want, thin if you want, it's up to you.
  
  Finally, use a colored pen to mark your paper image with whatever label you want to put on it. If you want, you can imagine that with each pen stroke, you are cutting the image.
  
  After you're through with marking, defacing, mangling, etc. your image, check yourself if the urge to cut remains. There's still that urge? Turn to page 2 of your sketchbook, and repeat the whole procedure.
  
  Oh, and if this exercise makes you hungry, won't do yourself no big harm by nibbling on a biscuit and sipping some tea.
  
  Come on, girl. Try it. It's fun. Much better than cutting, actually.
  
  
  

• I'mNotHungry said on Mar 22, 2008....

  That's a good idea!  I may try it.  In therapy, we've tried to incorporate art.  Draw a picture of a *safe* place.  Show me where you have feelings.... where do you feel it when you're frightened, angry, sad....... 

  Your suggestion is one I haven't heard yet.  Thanks for the tip.   It's too late for tonight, but perhaps tomorrow.........

   

• moonriver said on Mar 22, 2008....

  Try it. The worst that could possibly happen is that you will sketch what seems (in your mind) to be a fat woman, which will draw out all your rage and frustration, with you slashing at it with safe felt-tip pens. Thereby wasting a perfectly good sketchbook page and perhaps ruining the pen tip. So there. You could possibly achieve a world record of "the artist with the biggest number of ruined felt-tip pens." Lol.
  
  

• lfbno7 said on Mar 23, 2008....

  Do you have any interests? What do you like to do?

• quietone said on Mar 23, 2008....

  moon ~ what a great idea!!  I think that is super Hungry, I do hope it helps if you choose to try that drawing.

• Mamie said on Mar 23, 2008....

  hey moon, have I told you lately that I love you? I LOVE that sketching idea...I really wish I had known of the idea recently before my niece went out and tattooed her whole back..I could have suggested that she sketch out this ungiven love to her mom who has passed...she could have expressed it and created many.many ways of feeling it, without having committed to the impact of the tatt....same for Hun, here.....draw away!! Make sure to get red ones so that you can really feel the RAGE. Let it out GIRLFRIEND!!
  xoxoxoxM

• Ombrelle said on Mar 23, 2008....

  Fantastic idea moon! Painting, like writing or beading can be very therapeutic. Translating your feeings onto paper can let you out of your shell, can let you express feelings that you can't or won't otherwise and it's a hell of a lot better than cutting. Go for it girl.

• diabolicdame said on Mar 23, 2008....

  I'm glad there were people to reply to you when you needed to reach out to someone. And moonriver has given an excellent idea that actually might help..  I think you should try it.. Its a lot more painless! If you feel this way again, how about you just listen to some soothing music, take a nice long bath.. calm yourself down a bit.. There are people that love you and care about you.. You're probably just having trouble seeing them.. Think of that and the other people you are yet to meet.. You'll get yourself through this.. Just be strong.. 

• andora said on Mar 23, 2008....

  acid pH! don't give up on losing weight, its never too late. I know first hand that getting my pH more alkaline will make the weight drop off. Read "Sick and Tired" by Dr. Young. No money? then buy some powdered barley grass (its cheap) and drink it all day everyday. I promise you will start feeling good enough to move again if you are not moving much.
  
  I thought the drawing pad idea to be brilliant as well. Therapy doesn't decrease the pounds and depression is a healthy response to being fat, however, it doesn't take the weight off. Therapy is great for identifying past experiences that lead to self-hatred, but self-hatred doesn't quite go away when I'm unhealthy...leads to shame...leads to eating addictively, drinking addictively, smoking - sexing heartlessly etc... nothing replaces health. I am sorry you feel like harming yourself tho - sounds like you're at the end of your rope. go to www.pangasm.org - written especially for the hopeless at the end of their rope.
  
  for what its worth Hungry - I care about what its like for you - I live at the end of the road in the wilderness and i still feel what is going on for the suffering souls. I wish you well. aloha.
  

• papajack said on Mar 23, 2008....

  Don't cut!  doesn't solve a thing!

• johnlove said on Mar 23, 2008....

  Listen, I have been there. I have several burns from where I needed the release of tension and I understand but, cutting is more dangerous. I am not telling you to burn yourself either.
  You need to ask for help. You need to talk to people like you that have been there and will understand. Cutting, will only leave you with the scars or possibly nothingness at all. Please don't do it. If no one else does, I care.

• gingersoul said on Mar 23, 2008....

  Moon...i love you too! ...:-)

  You have been the first one here to actually offer a practical suggestion. I have read about this therapy somewhere. In the article it was used with teen ager in crisis with their body image.

  See, Hungry,....we all are here...:-)

• rupert7 said on Mar 23, 2008....

  I don't pretend to have answers but hacking yourself up can't be good. Go with the Moons idea and realize that there are a lot of people here who care.

• moonriver said on Mar 27, 2008....

  Hungry girl -- Sorry I haven't checked your blogs in the past few days. I'll read your succeeding blogs first, then maybe later I'll ask you about that sketchbook. Psst. Buy a box of felt-tip pens. I have a feeling you'll need it.
  
  Mamie -- I think you're the first one, ever, here at Soulcast, to tell me that in public. Well, what can I say? I love you too. And I love you too, Ginger. And Quietone. And Nytquill. And Lennie. And Ombrelle. And Ddame. And Andora. And Papajack. And Johnlove. And Rupert. And hey, let's not forget Botoni. Luv you too, Botoni... :-)
  
  
  

• Mamie said on Mar 27, 2008....

  [blushing]...well I am glad to be your first (tehehehehehe)

• dianasv said on Jun 19, 2008....

  hey we all lovers are under one roof.. what else we need..i really love the idea moon..its fabulous giving new reason to cherish life.keep it up guys ..love you all.. suggest me some new ways if you can,i wanna try them all. ===================== Diana Drug Alcohol Rehab http://www.drugalcoholrehab.net/

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