evil_twin's tags:
Often when I'm driving and listening to music, I get totally lost in my head somewhere. No matter what mood it is that I'm in, there is always a song that can speak to me. It can transport me someplace else entirely. Sometimes that's a bad place, but occasionally it's good too.

This morning I was in a rather weird mood. It wasn't actually bad, but it wasn't good either. And it was hard to find a song on my iPod that fit such a strange state of mind. And then I came across the song Learning to Fly by Pink Floyd. I love that song. And whenever I hear it, I think about being a teenager again because I used to listen to it a lot back in high school.

And it reminded me of the times me and my friends used to hang out at the park after school. Instead of acting like we were all mature and stuff, we used to swing. It was fun. The place would always be empty except for us and we had the entire playground to ourselves. And we used to play our CD's really loud and just swing on the swings forever.

And whenever this song would come on, I'd always close my eyes and really feel it. Because if you're swinging high enough, it almost feels like you're flying. It would give me a total head rush sometimes. And I'll never forget how amazing I felt right at that moment. Especially at the part of the song that went:

There's no sensation to compare with this, suspended animation, a state of bliss...

That's exactly how I'd feel. Bliss. And it didn't require anything except a swing and my imagination. Everything was so easy then. No responsibilities, minimal stresses, freedom to dream. Back then I thought I could do anything. And the future seemed so far away that I just knew that by then I'd be someone great. Someone important. Someone happy. Because in the minutes I felt like I was flying, there was no stopping me. The sky was the limit.

And after hearing that song today, I had this overwhelming urge to just turn my car around and go to the park. I wanted to swing. I wanted to feel like I was flying again. Completely free of every stress and worry and burden I've been carrying on my back for so long. And I knew that if I got out there on that swing, everything would just disappear. I'd be able to soar again.

But I didn't do it. I couldn't. Not only would I look ridiculous, I'm sure, but I'm not free of responsibilities anymore. I can't just ditch work and hang out at the park like I did back then. I'm not free to fly the way I used to be. I'm tethered here on earth now. But sometimes I miss my wings.

Into the distance, a ribbon of black
Stretched to the point of no turning back
A flight of fancy on a windswept field
Standing alone my senses reeled
A fatal attraction is holding me fast
How can I escape this irresistible grasp?

Can't keep my eyes from the circling skies
Tongue-tied and twisted just an earthbound misfit, I

Ice is forming on the tips of my wings
Unheeded warnings, I thought I thought of everything
No navigator to find my way home
Unladen, empty and turned to stone

My soul intention, that's learning to fly
Condition grounded but determined to try
Can't keep my eyes from the circling skies
Tongue-tied and twisted just an earthbound misfit, I

Above the planet on a wing and a prayer,
My grubby halo, a vapor trail in the empty air
Across the clouds I see my shadow fly
Out of the corner of my watering eye
A dream unthreatened by the morning light
Could blow this soul right through the roof of the night

There's no sensation to compare with this
Suspended animation, a state of bliss
Can't keep my mind from the circling skies
Tongue-tied and twisted just an earthbound misfit, I






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Comments

  • gingersoul said on Mar 21, 2008....

    Kyle......talking about coincidence...i was listening to this song only yesterday.....it showed up in the music channel i selected on Pandora...actually i selected Genesis so they started to play any song similar to them....and this beauty exploded in my ears......it was ages since the last time i listened to it.....

    And what a beautiful post is this one......days like these ones makes me always remember my friends in Italy....the fun we had, the freedom and the sense of being invicible and young forever...

    Next time you have the urge to go to the park...call me....i will push you on the swing......lol.....

  • Mr_Box said on Mar 21, 2008....
    I remember the park days. That was fun. And just so you know, I still like the swings. I take Harper to the park and I can't resist getting on the swing next to her. 

    Why not right? You're never too old for that. Plus I always entertain her by showing how far I can really fly when I jump off in midair. Luckily she's too afraid to try that herself yet. What did I teach her?! But it's still fun. 

    I like that song too, by the way. Another one that always had the same sort of feel to me was Tom Petty's Free Falling. Do you have that one?
  • gingersoul said on Mar 21, 2008....


    Oh, Boxy.....what a great song....:-)

    And i agree with you....your are never too old to swing toward the sky.....

    Except that i get pretty soon motionsick on that thing....i know, i know.....my daughter makes mercilessly fun of me anytime.....lol...

  • Mr_Box said on Mar 21, 2008....
    Thanks for posting up the video, Gingery. I always loved that song. This was my favorite part:

    I wanna glide down over Mulholland
    I wanna write her name in the sky
    Gonna free fall out into nothin'
    Gonna leave this world for a while

    And I'm free, free fallin'
    Yeah I'm free, free fallin
    '

    And yes, you are never too old to swing toward the sky. I agree.
  • gingersoul said on Mar 21, 2008....

    That was a great band, don't you think?

    I saw a special about him and he look better now than when he was younger....i mean, still scary looking but with the time he has aquired a more defined and interesting look.....and his voice is still so good...

  • queenparanoia said on Mar 22, 2008....
    you know freedon is a decision kyle so decide to be free.... and if you want to swing without looking stupid do it with natalie... believe nobody would think you look stupid.. only cute... =)
  • GracefullyGrowing said on Mar 22, 2008....
    I'm not free to fly the way I used to be. I'm tethered here on earth now.
     
    Kyle - You may not be free to fly the way you *used* to, but you are free to fly in new ways.  I remember feeling just as you do, but I hated the tether.  I even tried to cut it many times, unsuccessfully, so I could feel safe in the familiar.  When I finally gave in I decided to start looking at the tether as a safety rope. I discovered that what happened when I "flew" while tethered was that others would fly along with me.  That was new.  This gave me insights I never knew existed, and opened even more windows to "fly" through.  I was afraid learning to fly in new ways would limit me. But it didn't, much to my surprise and delight - and even my chagrin at times. 
     
    I wish for you new windows, new delights, and many hours of flying!
     
    ~Grace~
  • fearing said on Mar 22, 2008....
    I can't believe you didn't go to the park to swing again.  I still swing sometimes at work with the kids.  I know, there's a difference.  I can technically get away with it in my job.  Today is Saturday, why don't you grab Harper and go swing?  You won't look ridiculous then.  Don't ever get too old to swing.
  • evil_twin said on Mar 22, 2008....
    ginger--Isn't the song great? It really brings me a sense of peace listening to it. And I love remembering all the good times with my old friends. If I ever make it to the park, I'll let you know, and you can push me on the swings ;-) I do also love that Tom Petty song too! Thanks for posting it up.

    Mr. Box--I do have the Tom Petty song and those lyrics are my favorite part too. I need a kid to go swing with so I won't look so dumb at the park by myself! I might have to borrow yours....

    queen--I think you're right. If I wanna swing, I should just do it. Me and Nat could just not care what anyone thought of us, and do it anyway. We just might do that...

    Grace--It is nice to have companions on your 'flights'. I guess what I miss the most is the sense of freedom and possibility. The future I was dreaming about back then is actually NOW. And a lot of those little problems that I assumed would be long since fixed, are still with me. And I suppose there's a sense of disappointment about that. But maybe I can recapture the feeling?

    fearing--I really wanted to turn my car around and go swing. But I couldn't just then. There's still hope though. Today is a beautiful day, so maybe we'll go to the park?
  • nursecutie said on Mar 22, 2008....

    Oh I know what you are saying about how fun and freeing playing on the swings is! I used to swing all the time.....for hours! I would get blisters on my hands.....LOL! But I think that it never stops being fun. If we had a good strong tree we could put a tire swing up! Wouldn't that be exciting? I used to have one in my backyard when I was a kid and I wore the rope out and it broke. With me on it!

    I think that we could go to the park today maybe. Why not?? If people laugh at us, so what? They would just be jealous that they were not swinging too :)

    xxoo natalie xxoo

    ps~I love both of those songs!

  • CayenneMan said on Mar 22, 2008....
         Oh yes I think I can remember a similar feeling. I lived in an area not far from a very high cliff. Back in the day my friends and I would gather at the edge of the cliff and proceed to jump off one at a time. I kid you not after free falling  60-70 feet you would land in the softest white sand you could ever imagine. You could have dove head first and never have been hurt the sand was that fluffy and soft.
       The thought of having music such as Pink Floyd or Tom Petty (Free Falling) would have been great.
         Today the cliff is a very high office building  . . . I thank God for the quality times I had back in the day .
         Oh and by the way it was well worth the ten minute walk to get back to the top to do it again . . .and  again . . . and again . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
        
        Wow  , now that I think about it . . . maybe my father was right , maybe  I was the one bringing all the sand into the house . . .  
  • destinydiva said on Mar 22, 2008....
    kyle I love love love that song!!!!  I listen to it over and over..and I swear you gotta go find a park and a swing, stick your ipod on and fly away to that song,
    I did once and believe me its amazing..if you add a joint to the equation it is a truly memorable experience...er hmm...or so I am told  ;-) xx

    ps...you cant ditch work..but you can still go play on the park in your lunch hour, if I saw a guy in total bliss on the swing, I wouldnt laugh and think ridiculous...I'd smile think free spirit :-)xx


  • skald said on Mar 22, 2008....
    I know how you feel Kyle. 
  • hinana said on Mar 22, 2008....

    love the swings =)

    me and my cousins once tried to make a tire swing in our backyard...we didnt have enough skipping roe, so we used a two by four instead.

    befor ethat though, we tried one of those kiddie chairs...my cousin sat on it and it broke =P

    They should put up a swing set at highschools..Id use it =)

    But like everyone else has said..if you feel like going to teh park and swinging, go for it. if you have work, go in at lunch, or afterwards.

  • evil_twin said on Mar 23, 2008....
    cutie--A tire swing would in fact rock! I'd love that. Someday if we buy a house, it will need to have a big strong tree suitable for tire swinging. But for now, the park swings will do! It was fun and I'd definitely want to do it again :-)

    Cayenne--You used to jump off a cliff?? That's a little more daring than I ever was. But that would definitely give you the sensation of flying, for sure.

    destiny--So pot makes the experience even more enjoyable huh? ;-)  I might have partook in that past time before at the park, but not lately! I'm glad you'd think a man swinging at the park would look like a free spirit and not a dork! By the way, we did go swinging yesterday. It was just as fun as I remembered.

    skald--I'm glad you understand :-)

    hinana--They should put swings at high schools! Not that it would help me anymore, but it would have been fun. Luckily we do have a park nearby and we tested out the swings yesterday! It was a lot of fun :-)

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