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How Am I Supposed To Get More Views?
 Other than sending my link everywhere, which I dont want to do, I used to get like 40 views within a day, now im lucky to get 10 in a week. V.V
 
So I saw kaylie and krista today, that was nice...kaye kindof ran off when she saw me, well not exactly...but thats how it felt, i feel like that person that you know as an aquaintence and you dont really talk to. I feel like I dont have any friends.
I used to talk to kaye alot.
I used to talk to Iceis alot.
I used to talk to Jordyn and Jennie and Shuz and a lot of my friends alot...so whats changed?
Have I changed to where no one wants to talk to me or be around anymore?
what is the point of trying to talk to someone that doesnt want to talk to you?
NONE.
 
so I end up not talking to anyone.
Its either that or everyones lives are moving on without me and i have no life, left where i am, was, and still will be..
its an odd feeling knowing that your life is going no where.
 
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I think that people like talking to people like themselves. And this proves to be a problem for me becuase I ... am not like anyone I know. And it sucks.
I think I will kindof stop firespinning. I dont really talk to anyone in that group anymore. I dont really do anything with them.
None of the colorguard girls like me. I know that.
The derby girls are nice to me but I have only gone to two things for derby.
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Why is it that when someone feels like they are falling out of their friends ... eyes, that they also feel like they should just say, "well you are stupid enough to walk away, Im smart enough to let you go."
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Im looking forward to next week,, spring break. Kindof fun I guess... boring. and no school. so it will fly by becuase I have nothing to do.
I hate no structure, i HATE it when I dont have everything planned out...where i am going, who will be there, what we are doing, for how long...i think that has something to do with the fact that all the times that something bad has happened i didnt have all of these factors known...
but really,, who does?
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I think that I should stop talking,.. I miss someone. I dont really know who.
Thats a lie.
I do know.
I just wanted her to know that I do. I miss you. And I want to talk to you more than I do. Could you do that for me?


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Comments

  • InsighedOut said on Mar 23, 2008....
    Thank you for your comment .. made me feel good to read that on a day when I feel as though I'm falling through space. So came along here to write a thank you note and it seems from your post that you're falling through too! If I see you through the clouds I shall wave and smile and you'll know it's me :o)
  • FireSpininFlamer said on Mar 23, 2008....
    :) *waves*
  • anonymous said on Mar 24, 2008....
    Look, Girl,

    Soul Cast is not about how many views you get.  You should be writing here for YOURSELF, not for everybody else.  I know it gets hard when you're depressed, lonely, angsty, and feel like you have nobody to talk to or turn to - but seriously, think of this time as an opportunity to self-reflect and find yourself internally.  Live for yourself, not for everybody else.  You'll find that you can be much happier that way.

    *hugs*
  • anonymous said on Mar 24, 2008....
    have you ever stopped to think that these people stopped talking to you because you are crazy? all I hear in your blogs is you whining and bitching about how unfair your life is and blah blah blah. how much you miss this girl, these girls and what not. it is absolutly obsessive really. i feel sorry for them honestly. you constantly speak of you ex and put her on some sort of pedistool all the time when from what i can see she obviously doesn't feel the same for you, otherwise you would be talking about how much you care and miss your girlfriend, not ex. you seriously need to get over her you might want to seek some counciling and serious help. get over stuff stop feeling sorry for yourself, and grow up! you are probably some teen age little 16 year old emo want to be cool kid who thinks life is unfair even though they have no bills, no financial responsibilities, and no bills. god get over your feel sorry for me and myself attitude and MAYBE you might retain more friends.
     
    P.S. your spelling and grammar is that of a 12 year old boy...
     
    also i am no a coward for commenting anonymously, i just dont want you stalking and obsessing over me like you seem to with your ex's.
     
     

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