• secretlife said on Mar 21, 2008....

  i thought you just came out of 4 months in-patient?

• I'mNotHungry said on Mar 21, 2008....

  I checked myself out of the treatment center on December 20th. 

• GrapeKoolaid said on Mar 21, 2008....

  I don't really know what to say... 
  
  I'm not in the habit of leaving comments in posts that I (1.) know nothing about, and (2.) have little to say. 
  
  However, I just wanted to drop you a line just to say that though I may not comment on your posts often, I read your every word. 
  
  There's so much more to you than this illness.  I can see it as plainly as the back of my hand. 
  
  I hope one day you can, too. 
  
  Hang in there!  
  

• secretlife said on Mar 21, 2008....

  you need to be in an in-patient program.
  that much is very obvious.
   
  i don't know what to say about you thinking  you're not sick.
  the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem- and if you don't think you do, then i'm not sure what anyone can say to you.
  you DO have a major problem.
  but me telling you doesn't mean a thing.
   
   

• nytquill17 said on Mar 21, 2008....

  Giving up something that's been identifying you IS scary.  Up until this point, it's all you've ever known, and letting go of it is like falling backwards without knowing what's behind you.  It takes some serious guts.  It is normal for you to feel overwhelmed and for your thoughts to be racing right now.  There is some serious stuff going on inside you
  
  Anorexia is consuming so much of your life and so much of you, that it's been holding you back from knowing who you really are.  Anorexia is NOT you, and you are NOT your anorexia.  It's just something that's been covering you up, hiding you, taking up all your time.
  
  So instead of asking yourself "Who will I be without this?" try asking, "Who could I be without this?"  What could you accomplish if you weren't always so tired and dizzy?  If you could reclaim the time you spend now on food and exercise and worry?  How far could you go?  What new things would you be able to learn?  How much more fun could you have?  How much more time could you spend with your daughter, without feeling dread or guilt when you look at her?
  
  Giving anorexia up is enough to give anyone a panic attack.  It's not like turning on a light switch; it will take time to process the feelings and feel ready for this.  But once you let go of it, think how free you would be!  Sometimes, it's only when you're standing on the edge that you can finally see the other side.
  
  I just want to add one more thing about in-patient treatment.  I've said it before: I think you are worth knowing.  I think you are a beautiful person who is in unimaginable pain.  I WANT you to live, to exist in my world.  I would miss you if you died from this.  And you know that quote from Einstein that insanity means doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.  The "same things" that you are doing right now are keeping you alive, but I don't see them helping you forward.  So from where I stand, in-patient treatment might be the "different thing" to get you those "different results."
  

• Mamie said on Mar 21, 2008....

  I know who you are without ana and I will PM you my answer....loving you....yes, you heard me right, loving you....mamie

Comment on "Turmoil inside my head today........"

Currently tagged	ana uncertainty lost anorexia (Click to add tags below)
Tag this post	(Separate tags using commas, for example: New York, dating, vegetarian)
Your comment