• Fallyn said on Mar 21, 2008....

  so what did the officer do?

• husbandhater said on Mar 21, 2008....

  Asked him to stay at his parents house. I didn't let him in and the second set of Cops said he has a big mouth and needs to grow up. I could tell he was like 10 seconds from arresting him for no reason and he couldn't get his parents on the phone.

• queenparanoia said on Mar 21, 2008....

  ohmygod finally!!!!!!!!!! please update us whatever happens... okay???

• dailyachesandpains said on Mar 21, 2008....

  HH!!!  WOW!
  I can't believe they didn't do anything! 
   
  So, he couldn't get his parent's on the phone, but did he go to their house anyway? 
   
  I'm so sorry you have to deal with that stress, as a mother especially.  I applaude you for not just rolling over and dealing with it and you showed concern for the well being of your child above anything.
   
  {{{{HUGS}}}}
  Daily

• secretlife said on Mar 21, 2008....

  i'm glad i'm not you today....
   

• polarheart said on Mar 21, 2008....

  HH, you are right, you are the parent and should protect your kids as far as possible.  Since he stopped working he seems to just have become nastier and nastier and I think you have finally seen it for what it is.  Why should you be the one working all hours whilst he lays about and also treats your kids bad. . .I have no respect for this man!! HH, I wish you all the best, it will be tough, but enough is enough already. (((((hugs)))))

• pickersplock said on Mar 21, 2008....

  Good for you HH!

• silverwhisper said on Mar 21, 2008....

  i've been thisclose to suggesting you kick him to the curb the past few times you talked about him, HH.
  
  this should have been a wake-up call for him. let's see if he's listening.
  
  ed

• uniquely-ironic said on Mar 21, 2008....

  Good for you.  I'm glad the cops used common sense as well.  Is this permanent?  I think you're such a capable, hard working woman who really can do as well if not better without dead weight.

• wombat said on Mar 21, 2008....

  I am sorry you are having to deal with this.  I will be thinking of you and saying a little prayer of strength for you and your children.

• cotterall&elaineadams said on Mar 21, 2008....

  It sounds like you are both responsible and should get counseling if it is not too late.  It is difficult to argue you are the victim if you stay up all night fighting with your spouse.  Think of the child who deserves better than two parents arguing all the time.  People justify everything these days.

• Fallyn said on Mar 21, 2008....

  well, at least the cops saw what you meant.
  
  when i dealt with the cops last they said the kids needed to stay with their dad instead of leaving with me.
  idiots.
  

• crybabylu said on Mar 21, 2008....

  cotterall:    What does she have to justify?  Do you even know what you are talking about?  If this man was my husband, one of us would have been dead by now! Probably him, because I am not going to take that crap from no one!  No one!  He is to say the very least, a jerk, and she don't need him!

  I hope you called a lawyer, and got some papers drawn up, so you can keep his you know what out of your house!  You go girl!

• RollingC said on Mar 21, 2008....

  She has nothing to justify.  Constant verbal abuse, specially if and when it gets ugly, is nothing short of assault....only it's not physical.  The emotional scars those children will be carrying for the rest of their lifes will make them emotionally non-functional as adults when it comes to raising a family. And if they do overcome that they'll do it after much effort.
  Maybe your husband was a victim and he's continuing the cycle.  If so, then the children have to learn to break it otherwise it's a perpetual repetition of verbal abuse from generation to generation.
  Rc
   

• Mamie said on Mar 21, 2008....

  oy. hope today was better for you xoxoxo mamie

• andoranoyes said on Mar 21, 2008....

  breaking entrenched patterns takes support locally. my last marriage ended in '87 after going round and round....supposedly for our children....they were better off with a single mom than unavailable bickering parents.
  
  80% of all murders against women are from their sexual partners so make a clean break, don't back down. i don't know you or your story HH, but by the sounds of those who have been following your story and your username, it sounds like this was along time coming. Since you chose to escalate this to an extreme position (it is no small thing when we 'kick' a person out of their home) it would be harmful to change your mind. Children should not see adults take such moves casually...as you well know...they are watching and learning.
  
  I lost my best friend recently because she went back to a man that was physically abusing her. I figure if she casually lets a man mistreat her like that then she doesn't have enough self-respect to have others stand by her if she won't do this for herself. I don't believe in sacrifice and am tough enough to know that investing in loved ones who allow others to harm them and their children is a royal waste of my time.
  
  sorry for the wordiness, but I am one winded grandmother. I will hold grand images for your future as a woman who attracts satisfaction and support in every way. Aloha
  

• rupert7 said on Mar 21, 2008....

  HH - I am sad it has come to this and yet glad that you have taken this positive step. The problem now (it is only an opinion,and I am no expert) is that if you allow him back into the house,he will see this as an "admission of wrong doing," on your part,a kind of "hey - its OK,I over reacted,come back, I shouldn't have locked you out, it will work out,I am sorry," sort of thing. I think his return will make things worse for you,no matter what he might say while the chain is still on the door! But then,perhaps it will give him such a shock that he actually wakes up and does something about himself! I really hope so and my thoughts are with you....good luck  (((hug)))

• MasterWryter said on Mar 21, 2008....

  Seems a situation where you both need help of some type, him for being so verbally abusive and you for putting up with it. As difficult as it seems one of youy( seems it will be you).has to step up to the plate and start to alster mthe destructiveness  going on here.  Your right you are the parent and as one has a responsibilty to your son and his well being along with your own so any steps taken to improve your lot will do so. you owe it to your son and your self. Your husband sounds to me like a  male who has never grown up inside nor out. Pity that as your son is the biggest loser in the  spiralling game.

• cotterall&elaineadams said on Mar 21, 2008....

  Verbal abuse is different from physical abuse and from the post here, the woman involved is actively going against him in the same manner, putting her in the same boat.  They might be better off apart but she is no better than he is.  Domestic violence, neglect, unwarranted verbal abuse and abandonment are terrible injustices against men and women, though it does happen more to women than men.  It is important to clarify situations.  If they both engage in verbal abuse, it is a dysfunctional relationship in which both are responsible.  Women are not better than men: feminism means equality not superiority, radicalism, victimization and hatred of men.

• dyingman said on Mar 21, 2008....

  What a pansy. Break a window, ya fool. They're YOUR windows. Callin' the police to help you with your wife. Puh-lease. Still, how vile are we talkin' here?

• crybabylu said on Mar 21, 2008....

  Wo...Wo...Wo!

  What planet did you just fly in from?  You too, Master!  You don't just waltz in on someone else's blog and start taking them apart!  Have either one of you been a part of her support team?  Have you cried and wept along with her?  Have you read any of her blogs before this one?  If so, name one.  You don't even know her.  Yet you come in here already taking the position that she is somehow involved in the abuse that she has been receiving from him.

  There isn't anything in this blog that suggests that she had done even one thing to warrant his verbal abuse.  I just don't get it, I guess, how you waltz in on her blog and tell her she needs to do anything!  I think, Cotteral, you might have a problem that you might to see a therapist for.  Now see how easily I was able to come up with a judgement just like you just did.....

• botoni said on Mar 21, 2008....

  HH....Good for you! You did what needed to be done! Disregard the naysayers here. No form of abuse is tolerable be it physical, sexual or verbal. You d be wise to get some legal advice. There is likely a womens shelter or something akin in your neighborhood. Ask them for help and advice. Hang in there and be strong.

• lfbno7 said on Mar 21, 2008....

  Good luck. Can't really play the expert and tell you what's going on or how to fix it because I don't know a thing about it. Seems like a few people here think they know what's going on. Anyway good luck, hope it all gets better.

• lalalalalala said on Mar 21, 2008....

  I love this recent development. You rock!

• soleme said on Mar 21, 2008....

  I'm so sorry, especially for your 9 yr old to witness and be berated.  You did the right thing for you and your 9 yr old.

  Stay strong, my thoughts are with you!   HUGS!

• Fallen_from_Grace said on Mar 21, 2008....

  HH,
  
  I haven't been following your blogging in great detail, but I recognize that for things to get to the point that they did when you acted it must have been hell for you.  From what I've read so far it seems like you are the adult in the relationship, and I don't think you would have done what you did without good reason.  If you had a good reason - stick with it...don't fall prey to the apologies and promises to "do better from now on" You have started down a very tough road - but one which (it seems most people who know you better than I do all agree) is the best course of action.  see it through the pain and into a brighter, better tomorrow.  I realize that he knows all your weaknesses and can "Push the right buttons"....and that you want to believe him...don't buy into the tripe and drivel.  Stay the course you have set.  Your children will thank you for it.
  

• Fallyn said on Mar 21, 2008....

  husband...for what it's worth...and i'm sure you already know this......i think you absolutely did the right thing.
  
  

• CreativeWoman said on Mar 21, 2008....

  I wish you the very best.  I also hope you've called  a lawyer and if not, will do so very soon.
  
  CW
  

• SpikeOBoy said on Mar 21, 2008....

  I'm ready to fill-in.
  It always gets me to hear about some one like you. I would love to be in a loving relationship and these guys throw it away.

• Scottish_GRRL said on Mar 22, 2008....

  Dear HH,
  You go GRRL!!  Only you can decide what is right for you and your family, not the rest of these haters.  It took guts to do that.  And your children will know someday that you did the right thing for all of you.  I am sending you good thoughts and strength (otherwise known as prayers) that you and your family can be safe and recover to live a good life.  Cheers, SG
   

• cavaliercougar said on Mar 22, 2008....

  Having  problems in a marriage is common.Your problems have obviouslyt been festering a LONG time from your previous posts.Your supporting him thru medical school was kinda strange,but understandable.Having BIG problems in my marriage is ironic from what I supposedly represent.I have been in the position of counseling with people who were having serious problems.There are always common threads-lack of communication-FRANK,open communication on several levels.SELFISHNESS on the part of one or both. SEXUAL frustration on one or both.When the man complains about quanity,I have ALWAYS found the woman was NOT having orgasm(s).However that the female IS having more than her fair share of euphroria is no gaurantee of anything-but it IS a certainty that the lack thereof WILL be a problem.  SPENDING quality time together WITHOUT the kids is a mandantory activity if you are to have a chance.Cheap SOB's that aren't willing to spend money on the wife and are PROUD of it-well,that is a capitol punishment situation.You have to GET AWAY from the normal and have fun by your selves.Your situation,dear lady,sounds terminal,but maybe,if you can both dig deep and find the reason you once loved each other,you have a slim chance of pulling it together.

  It may be too late,but you should have gotten hold of his cell phone and check the history.Checking his computer's record for his activity can tell you a lot.MANY an affair has been confirmed by these steps.

• RollingC said on Mar 22, 2008....

  Listen HH....I forgot to ask, what state do you live in?   In Fla. a woman with children has more rights than a man....even if that man is the father of the children.  
  What do you mean the cops said...lady, you can't lock the guy out.  
  Here in Fla when a man (owner of the house) gets into a fight with his girlfriend and wants to kick her out of the house...if the woman has children the cops will kick him out of his own house.
  You did the right thing and maybe that and more is what this jerk needs to get his act together.
  Rc
  

• Madd-Shame said on Mar 22, 2008....

  If what you say is true, he deserves whatever he has coming for him. I have a 10 yr old daughter and I can never imagine anyone talking trash in front of her. Stick by your child and do everything right all the time. Damn the consequences!
  
  
  
  
  Madd-Shame
  
  
  
  
  www.amazingseeker.com

• sammies_place said on Aug 17, 2008....

  I'm awful close to this as well.  Not due to verbal abuse or phsycial abuse...but he's just not here.  Even when he is. 
  Sammie

Comment on "I KICKED MY HUSBAND OUT;~)"

Currently tagged	family marriage life verbal abuse discipline boundaries hot button topics common decency mutual respect childcare (Click to add tags below)
Tag this post	(Separate tags using commas, for example: New York, dating, vegetarian)
Your comment
	Comment Anonymously