No_Laughing_Matter's tags:
Who's reading No_Laughing_Matter (19):
You find out interesting things when 
you have sons, like
 ...



1.  A king size waterbed holds enough water to 
fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.
 



2.  If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies 
and run over them with roller blades,
 
they can ignite.
 



3.  A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 
200 adults in a crowded restaurant.




4.  If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, 
the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and 
a Superman cape. It is strong enough, 
however, if tied to a paint can, 
to spread paint on all four walls 
of a 20x20 ft. room.




5.  You should not throw baseballs up when 
the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling 
fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball 
up a few times before you get a hit. 
A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.




6.  The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.




7.  When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late.
 



8.  Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
 



9.  A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies. 




10. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4- year old Boy.
 



11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence. 




12. Super glue is forever. 




13. No matter how much Jell-O you put 
in a swimming pool you still 
can't walk on water.




14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.




15. VCR's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.




16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.




17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of 
noise when driving.




18. You probably DO NOT want to 
know what that odor is.




19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.
 



20. The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.




21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.




22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.
 



23. Cats throw up twice their body 
weight when dizzy.




24. 80% of Women will pass this on to 
almost all of their 
friends, 
with or without kids.




25. 80% of Men who read this will try 
mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.


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Comments

  • silverwhisper said on Mar 20, 2008....
    omg--those are hysterical! :D

    ed
  • fearing said on Mar 20, 2008....
    I love this!  I have boys.  I understand.
  • evil_twin said on Mar 20, 2008....
    This is really sad, but the first thing that came to my mind when reading this was, "Clorox and brake fluid huh?" I'm not saying I was gonna try it.....but it sounded cool!

    -evil_twin LA
  • No_Laughing_Matter said on Mar 20, 2008....
    Ed: Thanks! I thought so too!

    Fearing: I can imagine that you understand

    e_t: Ha ha ha ha ha! Amazing....c'mon, you know you want to try it!
  • vacantmind said on Mar 24, 2008....

    Also, I would like to point out that earthworms will not survive in your pockets for a week and mothers would like to be warned that they are there before laundry day!

    Food coloring will leave your pure white cat sportin a rainbow doo for about 3 months!

    It is never a good idea to leap from the refrigerator to grab the cookie jar even if you are wearing a pillow case cape.  It will result in stitches and no cookies!

    Just because you left a sandwich under your bed for two months doesn't qualify it as a science experiment. Its just gross!

    The wind is not strong enough to transport you to your friends house and it isn't going to fly with your mom!

    Thanks for the laugh!

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