I think i need to blog to get destructive feelings out of me..... I hate being dependant on others..... I feel like a  child again.... but yet look so far from it! lol  I need a job...i need money.... i need a life..... I need more friends.... I need some property so i can have my horse with me and maybe some others animals so i can get lost in that.... its one of my passions.... I dont know of any others.....I guess i will add to this later....