The art of persuasion is very important in human exchange. The first thing that usually comes to mind is in the area of sales, but it is equally important in so many other areas. Teachers, philosophers, politicians, or one could say leaders in any station need to be capable in the art of persuasion. Not only these people, but the need or desire to persuade permeates every aspect of our daily lives in some way.
Parenting is one aspect of our lives that the need for effective persuasion can reach it's apex. This guidance, another word for persuasion, requires the best from a person and can divert a life going wrong to one of the right path. But at the same it time requires a good listener to be really effective.
Persuasion is used with friends and family in need, with religious leaders on the pulpit, all the way to the general conversation to convince another of your opinion.
The listener is at the opposite end of the persuader. A persuader must have the good listener to have any effect. But listening goes much deeper than that. As important as the persuader is, as much respect as persuaders garner by the populace, I feel good listeners are much more sought after in everyday life.
How many times have you heard someone comment on the great persuader as opposed to the good listener? Has silence ever had more meaning than having someone listen intently to you, your problems, or just perhaps your dreams. Sometimes having a good listener alone answers questions without the need for guidance.
Another excellent quality of the good listener is gaining knowledge and more importantly, many times gaining wisdom in the process. Remember the old saying, 'you can't learn anything with your mouth open'. I have noticed that good listeners have other good qualities, not the least of which is that their thought processes as a general rule seem to be more developed than your average persuader.
None of this, however, rules that one is more important than the other.
There are persuaders that are good listeners and vice-versa. This makes me wonder how many people are both. They are at such opposite ends, I would think a person very good in both might be rather difficult to come by easily. When I mentioned parenting, how many were truly effective without being good listeners also?
I was wondering about this with myself a few days ago. My wife has always told me I am a good listener and so have others. But there are also times when she has said to me 'your opinion is not the opinion of others at times, you need to learn that'. This seems to happen on topics which I am defiant about. It may mean I'm not a good persuader.
I wonder how you think about persuasion and listening. Are they equally important?
Which are you most capable of? Which would you rather have around you for guidance?
beyondtheveil posted on Mar 19, 2008
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Comments
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uniquely-ironic said on Mar 19, 2008....
Oohh, good post!I honestly don't know which I'm better at. Probably persuasion. I seem to go deaf when I'm assaulted by an aggressive "persuader". Something about their demeanor and insistant communications makes it hard for me to listen to them. I guess that isn't a quality of a good listener.I really appreciate a good listener. I work at becoming a good listener all the time. A good listener has the ability to help someone sort out their own thoughts without interjecting their own into the mix. They ask the right questions, when called for. They observe the whole person, not just their words.As a persuader I've been known to be quick on my feet in a conversation. -
silverwhisper said on Mar 19, 2008....
that's funny, i've always considered myself a good listener but a poor persuader, to be honest.
hm...i wanna think about this some more, esp the correlation b/n being convincing vs being a listener.
ed -
secretlife said on Mar 19, 2008....
i'm a better listener.i think sometimes people can persuade themselves if you allow them to speak and just listen. -
GrapeKoolaid said on Mar 19, 2008....
Silent Invasion of the Asian Persuasion.
Yup. That's me. :D
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quietone said on Mar 19, 2008....
I am defiantely a better listener. I would make a very poor leader and a poor car saleswoman! -
mobil said on Mar 19, 2008....
I don't know Beyond, this kinda goes to leaders and followers, though not the very same thing.I think listening and persuading can both be a learned thing and one or the other can be a natural inclination to individuals.It seems to me that whatever way you lean in all of this, what's really important is that you are able to do the off side of your natural inclination well enough to get passing grades too.No better place to apply these things than as a parent. My Dad was both, but when he got his belt out, his persuasion skills really became convincing....great post Beyond -
silverwhisper said on Mar 20, 2008....
having thought about it some more: i think that it takes a good listener to be a good leader--IMX, a good leader actually listens to what those who are led are saying.
ed -
bluegum said on Mar 20, 2008....
a good listener can learn a lot from any conversation and if they inject the right intrest or questions all the better.the art of persuasion has two parts know your stuff, or be a good bluff. -
dyingman said on Mar 29, 2008....
I'm a terrible listener.
I'm very persuasive.
I read an awful lot so I'm listening to others that way, when they allow me to skip ahead or stop listening anytime I feel like it without being rude.
Do voracious readers make poor listeners? Do people listen well when they haven't read as much so what people have to say seems like the most important information they can get rather than relying on what they already know through books? Surely there are exceptions, but what an interesting possibility that would soothe my ego, excusing my poor listening skills and impatient nature. I'm an incurable interrupter.
I love your posts, they always give me food for thought.
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