I'm a calm person, generally speaking. I have intense emotions, but I'm not prone to acting on them, and I don't react irrationally (most of the time) to surprises -- even unpleasant ones.
I'm one of those people you want by your side in an emergency. Even if I've just been traumatized by whatever I saw (bad wreck, whatever), I'm fully functional in a crisis. I can calmly do what needs to be done, even if I'm scared or upset inside. You see those sorts of people directing other bystanders after a wreck, or jumping in to help without a second thought.
I think even faster than normal in an emergency and can be counted on to weigh options and form a plan of action in seconds, with backups already in mind in case the situation changes unexpectedly or the main plan doesn't work.
So what does that have to do with anything?
Well, I tend to approach everyday mini-crises in much the same way. Contain the explosion, deal with the aftermath (whatever "explosion" might represent in any given situation). I can handle bad things, esp. if I suspect ahead of time that they're coming, but I hate surprises.
I really, really hate nasty little surprises in everyday life.
I'm dealing with a situation right now in which the other shoe is expected to drop later this week, but like with most things, I've already mapped out the worst-case scenario in a few different ways, and I'm feeling as comfortable as I can be with something like that on the horizon.
The wait takes a bit of a toll, though. It's like being stretched thin over too many days. So when today was a bad day, I was keeping it together, laid back and calm...to a point.
Little one and linebacker baby get their baths together, on the nights when linebacker baby gets a bath (his skin is too sensitive right now for daily baths, which little one does get). Bath time is the one point in the evening when I know things will go right. They both love the water, and little one thinks it's cool that her baby bro can sit in there with her.
I got the kids in the tub and was just starting the washing process when little one completely freaked out on me. I'm not talking typical little one tantrum (we have those, and we deal just fine with them - they're not too bad, most of the time). This was actually a violent objection to everything in the world. I got hit, kicked, etc. just trying to keep her in the tub and prevent her from drowning herself and/or the baby in the process.
My ears were ringing with her screaming in my face, but I wasn't going to let her disrupt the routine she normally loves (and needs). I kept talking to her, trying to calm her down. Suddenly, I noticed that the sticker on her hand from earlier was gone. Aha! I asked her about it, and she agreed to calm down in return for another sticker after the bath.
It was over just like that. But not. I noticed later, after I got her in bed, that I was shaking. I guess it's heading toward overload here with all the stress lately. But you know what? I'm doing ok, and I think a lot of it is just the not knowing/waiting part of this other shoe-situation. Once that's cleared up, everything will feel more even-keeled. :)
I am calm and normally fairly relaxed. I really am. It's just that some days, I have to remind myself I am, to get back to that point! :-D
the_infernal_optimist posted on Mar 18, 2008
| views: 163
Comments
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Mr_Box said on Mar 18, 2008....
You sound like a calm person to me. If there is one thing proven to drive a person completely out of their mind, it's a screaming tantrum from a child.If you weren't upset by that at all, I'd have to check your pulse. I think you handled the situation perfectly.Offering her a sticker and it worked. I wouldn't have even had the presence of mind to think of that in that situation.You are a Zen master, Infernal. Seriously. You did good. And I would hope that if a disaster ever struck, I'd have you around to keep everything nice and calm and orderly. -
silverwhisper said on Mar 19, 2008....
very perceptive re: the sticker. and yeah, i agree w/ jack, you strike me as generally a very calm person too.
but i'm concerned about this business about the other shoe falling shortly--?
ed -
evil_twin said on Mar 19, 2008....
I'm pretty much in awe of people who can hold it together in any sort of crisis. That's not me! Nat is like that though so it's nice to have someone around who can be calm during just about anything. I think it's normal though to get stressed out occasionally. Like Jack said, if you didn't, I'd wonder if you were still human!
I really hope everything is okay with you though. Whatever it is you're waiting to happen, I hope it turns out alright in the end.
-evil_twin LA
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nytquill17 said on Mar 19, 2008....
*poke* for the shoe. I hope everything turns out okay. I know you'll handle it the best way it could possibly be handled, whatever the outcome is.
Well, you've always been observant. I still remember that day in class, I'd forgotten to put my rings on that I usually wore every day and you noticed (from, like, across the table or something!) and wanted to make sure it didn't mean that something bad had happened. I was impressed that you'd even noticed (that I usually wore them, that they had meaning, that they were missing) since we hadn't really spoken much back then!
I think that calm of yours must be a great parenting skill. Great life skill, too. I'm great for making logical decisions but I panic in a rush or a crisis :p
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moonriver said on Mar 19, 2008....
Infernal -- Having gone through the similar experience of bathing two kids -- both throwing a tantrum -- with the phone ringing -- and someone's at the door -- while I'm just about ready to piss in my pants -- I think I'm somewhat familiar with the feelings you're going through.
I liked the way you described your cool-in-a-crisis mindset. I'm like that too. Up to a point. Given enough heat, we all reach a boiling point. I hope you the best in handling things when the other shoe drops... if it drops at all.
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uniquely-ironic said on Mar 19, 2008....
I'm pretty good in a crisis, but admit that when my kids were small and pitched a fit that it made me extremely angry. I never acted on that, but I often had to "send myself to my room to cool down" after the incident. You have my respect for not giving into the stress. -
Alyss said on Mar 19, 2008....
infernal, that's a scenario I know only too well. I am so sorry you had to experience it. I hope you, little one and linebacker baby have all recovered. {hugs}
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