I have had a terrible couple of weeks. My mood has been terrible, but my ability to cope has been worse. And, typically, I found myself taking it out on everyone close to me.
I really don't want to go back on anti-depressants. They wipe me out. Oh, its nice to NOT have to deal with the lows, but I kinda miss out on the highs as well. I'm just flat. And I don't like being flat. And don't get me started on the affects on my sex life. My poor husband deals with my low sex drive often enough as it is...if I go back on meds it will just get worse for him. I will ZERO sex drive, right now its just low...
Its bothersome because this weekend had me questioning my ability to be a capable adult, and the role model I am for my kids. I felt just miserable, which of course only continued to vicious circle that depression is! I am really wondering more and more if I have more of a BiPolar problem than regular depression. I go through such wonderful times, they really do feel like Highs, when I can accomplish just about anything...and then I hit the lows, like these past few weeks. I can't function at work...well, I make it through the day, but cry on the way there and cry on the way home. Focusing is tough...
Yea, I know, I need to go back to the Dr, and get back on meds, or maybe go back to therapy and find a new way to deal with it...It hasn't been this bad since I graduated High School.....



