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I can't seem to find the right words to describe myself. Short, Dark Haired, Green eyes...
I lied. The first word I thought of to describe myself was "fat". I'm prepared for your objection and criticism. It will never change my need for power over myself.
I understand people who question my "disorder". My lifestyle...
But the truth is, I'm not asking anyone to follow me. I AM infact alone, where the only thing closest to company is my ana. I'm not harming another person. I am harming myself because it is my choice. I need to have something to hold onto. I feel in control.
It is with me everywhere I go. It is forever reminding me of my imperfections, it is my guilty conscience everytime I reach for food, it is my life, my choice. It gives me freedom, yet locks me up. I am stuck. Stuck in an endless routine that I can't escape. Escaping is unthinkable. I will be the ultimate ana. I will be everything I want, by the time I am sixteen. I will reach my goals.



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anorexia (Click to add tags below)

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its bad news
the fat old fart pyscho of mine has told my mom that Im losing weight too quickly and that he strongly reccomends that I go to a clinic....
Im anorexic...and bulimic. It took me 5 years to figure that one out. In fact even after I was diagnosed I still denied it. But I reckon thats the first step isn't it. Acceptance....well. Ive accepted! I am anorexic and when I do eat, I purge. And that is...
Well just an update on the weight front...Ive really been trying to focus on feeling better about who I am as a person, be proud of my achievements and such, and to not obsess about food but....well I dont know, old habits die hard I suppose!...
Another secret...after confessing the last one I feel quite liberated to tell another one! This secret isn't as life altering but well I suppose it might be...I don't think I old enough and far away enough from this secret to look at it objectively.
...
This is in preparation for next year...I want to look beautiful...