So tonight ROCKED, hardcore style. :) jk.

Moving on from acting like a kid... I went over to slam's house with a friend of mine and her son, she showed up at my house and we went over there and hung out til like 8:30 wow. I was supposed to be home at 7..oops. Well at least my mom didn't call until I was on my way out the door. lol.

Well, met a bunch of new cool people hung out with people that I didn't really know and that was alright becuase my friend that I came with knew them and I didn't feel so out of place after a little bit.

It was a dinner for the rollar derby people, and I thought since I plan on joining why not get a little ahead and just start going to events now? *grin* so I went.

I had a pretty good time, I think I wouldve liked the food a little bit more if it wasn't so spicy, but meh, I didnt make it. So I have no room to complain. It was really good, just too hot for me.

I didn't like the shot other than the fact that it was like...peer presure, meh, ive never had an irish car bomb before, so i tried something new.

Other than that I had alot of fun and I really want to do it again. Really soon, fuck, like now would be ... fuck now. right now. :D lol. I really like those people.

 

Oh and I invited like 20 of my friends to come watch firespinning, :) yay publicity.

I just hope that my friends from the stephens party come.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Anyways, you came for the update ... didnt you? Thats why you are still reading? lol, duh thats why you are still reading.

well, I am torn. Two very seprate choices that are at my fingertips, one thing that could cause trouble, the other no trouble but no fun.

I do like fun.

I guess its complicated. Or maybe I want it to be complicated...life is too short to complicate everything though. So simplify in the best way without letting the person I am talking about know that I am talking about them. They are very nice, kind, and caring. They have a great personality, and are very attractive. They are someone that I met semi-recently. They are someone that I would like to get to know better, they are someone that could mean a lot to me, or just as much as everyone else. I am ... conflicted. I am... confused..no.. .. . I know what I am... scared.

 

I am scared of what could be.. what couldn't be..what might be. what ... am I scared of?

I am scared by them. They are someone that intimidates me. And the only thing I know about them is that they are a very caring person, funny, and yes.... I like them. But should I?

They are the person I wrote those 5 poems for...(spawned by the meeting of them)

 

Should I really..be .. this .. way?

Should I be falling over my words, tripping up over simple things, should I...idk. I dont think I want to say more, they might know who they are, I think they might guess, but what the hey, they are un-identified in this, they dont even have a gender LOL. I dont think ahead when typing ... >_> *shifty eyes* i swear...

 

I have firespinning this weekend, they might be there.. might not. W/e.

I really just hope that if they do show, I dont burn myself. This person, this ...they make me very nervous, I kept having a nervous fight with my ring when I was around them recently.

idk...maybe I should just text them...maybe I should ignore it all together. Thats what I will do. I will just leave this as it is, things work themselves out. I am just so ... goddamn fucking nervous, around them.

 

grr nerves. I shall kill thee. .. or at least mame. lol..

*cant stop fidgiting,,, going to shower and sleep...maybe things will be more clear when I wake up*