• MissMimi said on Mar 17, 2008....

  One of your tags is "still alive today".  That says it all.  Where there is life, there's hope. 
   
  People care because they can hear the pain in your words.  Many of us have walked down the dark road of depression.  It's a living hell.  Who knows when someone's brief word of support will be the one that helps a person hang on a little longer?   
   
  I'm glad you are seeing your therapist today.  Good luck to you, INH.  :)
   
   

• nytquill17 said on Mar 17, 2008....

  Hey, you.  Sorry I haven't been around; I was out of town for the weekend.
  
  With all you've been through, I don't blame you for feeling surprised and puzzled that anybody cares.  I don't blame you for thinking that you don't matter, or that the world would be better without you.  God knows I've felt that way myself plenty of times, though maybe not with the same intensity as you.  But I know how logical that thought can seem when you're thinking it.
  
  It can be very hard for me to know what to say.  I keep wanting to give you advice or say something to "help" you, or analyze your thoughts or something.  Like I know anything you haven't already been over with your therapist a million times.
  
  But I DO care how you feel, and I DO care what happens to you.  And obviously, I'm not the only one.  What happened in your other post happened because there are people out there who want you to live, who think the world is a better place with you in it.  That seems impossible to you right now, and I understand that, but maybe one day you will be able to accept it a little more, and then a little more.
  
  I can't define healthy for you and I can't make you go there - you'll only change when you're damned good and ready, when it comes from inside you and nowhere else.  But if you keep hanging on and keep working at it, that moment will come, I believe that for you with all of my heart.
  
  You just survive until that readiness comes, okay?  I want you to survive.  Cutting won't scare me off.  Suicidal thoughts won't scare me off.  I've done both.  I've lived through and seen some dark and scary shit.  I am not afraid of you.
  
  I want you to live.
  

• CreativeWoman said on Mar 17, 2008....

  I've only just starting reading you.  A caring SC friend pointed me to your blog.  People do care here.  I've had some very low points in my life and the support and love I have felt from people here have helped me tremendously.  Just the simple act of sitting down and writing about how I have felt has helped me to begin to heal my hurts.
  
  I know sad and lonely all too well.
  
  Many of us here have deep hurts that we don't share with anyone in our real lives.  We can understand and empathize with your pain even though ours doesn't come from the same source.  We know it's real and it hurts.
  
  I'm happy to see that you are going for help.  There is light on the other side of the dark valley.
  
  Keep hanging on.
  
  CW
  

• Mamie said on Mar 17, 2008....

  ah, now here I am at the latest of your posts...and it is kinda cool that your question seems to be now...how can this be?
  Well welcome to my world of SC...where we actually in REAL, care about each other. That is what you are seeing and that is what seems perplexing...kinda cool isn't it? You now have a circle of girlfriends who will do for you and they have done for me...here goes...
  they applaud our victories.
  they get scared when we are scared.
  they encourage when we are doubtful.
  they sing songs and do happy dances when we are light and breezy
  they ask us to reach beyond our own noses to see something from a different vantage point.
  they judge fairly and compassionately, always with a note of love
  they love us especially when we can't love ourselves
  they give us pointers to get the train back on track
  they offer energy when we are wiped
  they say 'that is the worst thinge ever' when we are facing the worst thing ever.
   
  WELCOME TO THE CLUB, SOUL SISTER!! I think you are going to like it here and I join my friends above and all the ones who may drop by below...to say:
  I am glad you were *surprised* by this love...it starts out virtual and becomes quickly, one of the most REAL things in your life!
  It is kinda like an army truth be told....anorexia doesn't stand a chance, my dear!!....mamie
   
   

• mobil said on Mar 17, 2008....

  People who don't know you care about you because we have all been on the dark and gloomy side of life.
   
  People care because people are basically good. Whenever in life that I've given up all hope on strangers and people in general, here comes someone from out of the blue to change my whole opinion about the human race.
   
  We can't give up on ourselves without giving up on others and there are too many really good people to give up on us all......God Bless You

• dailyachesandpains said on Mar 17, 2008....

  People care because we can LEARN from each other. 
   
  I posted to another post of yours last night.  I suffer on a daily basis like you do.  I hadn't left my house in over a month until last week.  And the time before that, was to my appointment to my shrink's office.  Before that trip out of the house, I don't know when it was or where I went. 
   
  Maybe you're still alive because you should be.  You still have things to do with your life...with your child.  As a mother to a little girl myself, the only thing that keeps me alive is knowing that she would have to live asking herself if it was her fault mommy's gone.  She would most likely take on a lot of anxiety and mental illness in losing me by my own hands than by way of a fatal disease.  THAT is what I don't want my Daughter to EVER have to deal with.  Living with what I have, plus wondering if it's her fault if I took my life and her own mental issues that would most likely devolp because of me and then some.  Just thinking of her having to explain to the kids at school why she doesn't have a Mommy eats me alive.  I don't ever want her to have to have to explain that, or live with that. 
   
  I'm fighting a battle myself and although I have my days, which I do post about to make me feel better, I plan to divorce this illness as soon as it'll sign the papers.  It's not easy because we have a love hate relationship.  Myself and my anxiety will live apart one day, but we will always have to deal with each other like a "real" divorce with a child in a marriage.  The eating disorder that I recently divorced has been creeping back into my life. I don't like it one bit, but it's like an old love that I always pictured myself with.  I want it so bad, but I know the relationship is toxic.
   
  I don't know you, but I'm here for you if you ever want to talk.  Everyone here at SC has been a great support system for me.  I've often said I get more from our friends here than I do from my co-pays worth in therapy.  I hope you feel the same way. 
  {{{HUGS}}}
  Daily

• starchini said on Mar 17, 2008....

  Soulcast is awesome and people who dont know  u care bc, just because.  I dont know u and i care bc i dont want anyone to take their own life ever.  U seem like a genuine person who is just all fucked up in the head.  Tons of people are just like u, ur not alone.  Many of us on soulcast are fucked up too.  Join the club and i hope we all have the opportunity to read more about u and give our own version of counseling.  : )  much love

• destinydiva said on Mar 17, 2008....

  
  mamie is soooo right, (that was so well put mamie ) :-)
   its true, people here do feel your pain, do really care, do really want to help,
  accept it, you are worthy of help, I have been down the road of anorexia... and the edge of bulimia for more than half of my life,  it is shit!!!! ...when every waking thought is about looking and feeling good, nothing crosses your lips without guilt, not the kinda normal eat a cake and feel guilty...but guilt i cant even try to explain..  dissapointment maybe? in yourself...which just spirals you further out of control.. hungry, I swear to you, I have walked that path, and escaped it, you can too, I have total faith in you... I know I dont know you in real life, but it doesnt mean i dont care any less.
  I have learnt from my journey, that you have to change your thoughts..before you can change yourself,  it never fully goes away, but it does become bearable..hey I even wnt on a cabbage soup diet!!  lol   and quit it after a day!!  that for me is progress!!  because not so long ago...  I would have stuck to that diet for weeks and weeks untill I became dangerously thin...  you can gain control of this.
  for me most of it was about control, my body was the single thing in my life I had some control over... but I realised, that I was no longer in control of that either...it had began to control me...
  I'm nottrying to be soulcast police, or piss you off... I guess I am just trying to show you, that I understand, and yes...having been there...  I care greatly abut anybody going through the same torture.
  ((((((((((((hugs))))))))))
  xxx
  

• Fallyn said on Mar 17, 2008....

  i care because i've had those feelings and i wouldn't wish them on another soul for ANYTHING.
  if i could take it away from the whole world i would.
  those feelings are so so hard.
  and the hopelessness is all consuming.
  i know sometimes it's so hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel....
  or in my case feeling like i was at the bottom of the deepest well and couldn't even see the opening at the top....
  but the fact is...there is light at the end...even if you can't see it right now...the tunnel does have an ending.
  the well does have an opening....and a ladder to the top..even if we can't always see it.
  your therapist will help you find it......and just keep going.
  i care cause i've been in your shoes and i know how much it sucks. and i know how much it hurts.
  and i'm still coming out of it...i'm not all the way better.
  but i saw the effects my illness had on my kids and we're all still trying to recover from the whole ordeal...and it's still hard.....but the hope there is now feels so good.
  life is worth it......it gets easier......it truly truly does...the hardest timescome fewer and farther between, and most of the time now life is a joy to live....
  i'm not saying it's never hard. ....it IS hard.
  but it's bearable now.
  and often times MUCH more than just bearable.
  i can see the people my kids are growing into ......instead of just wishing they would go away and leave me alone......i was so far down that well that i couldn't even care for myself....let alone them.....but if it wasn't for them...i would still be down there.....or worse.
  i feel my heart opening to them.....not always as much as i would like.....it's still hard sometimes....especially as they are healing from the past and how much i had neglected them.
  but i know they love me...and i know how much i love them.
  and it's all worth the effort.
  it really really is.
  i'm sorry this is so long winded....but you're situation has just affected me to an extent i can't really explain.
  i'm pulling for you...and i have faith in you......and i KNOW you are stronger than you think you are........the fact that you are here today proves that.
  

• gingersoul said on Mar 17, 2008....

  Hungry....you know what? I am glad you got pissed off...at least it has been a reaction to your inertia...it has been all good.....and believe me, nobody wanted to make you feel a criminal...

  This should tell you only how much here there is lot of people who still remains real, grounded and honest....its true ...we dont know you... but I think that if you will keep posting and reading you will understand who is real here even behind the anonimity of a screename. Hey, for what we know...you too could be a fake ....and yet we run to give you words of support...just in case....

  I agee with Mamie and i think you might like it here .:-)

• Lucytorial said on Mar 17, 2008....

  I didn't get here very quickly! but of course we see you and frankly who wouldn't care about another human life... just because you feel so damn lost and alone doesn't mean that you really are...
  
  Ginger's right, get pissed, get shouting, get reactive.... its good to see theres fight! tee hehee you certainly got that.
  
  Life isn't full of people who don't care, just sometimes seems that way especially when those close to us should care and don't.  Take heart, we're here, most of us will be here until our heads drop dead on our key boards..
  
  Hugs honey!
  

• GrapeKoolaid said on Mar 18, 2008....

  Behind this mask of anonymity, we can let our guard down and truly be ourselves.  We don't have to keep up appearances in front of other people.  In that sense, SC is more "real" than the people you meet in RL.  It is because we can see your "soul" that we care. 
  
  I have bared myself here, far more than I would to anyone I actually know(barring one person). 
  

• pickersplock said on Mar 18, 2008....

  It's good that your pissed off!  Maybe you should do that more often. Go ahead and prove everyone wrong, instead of proving them right!

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