When I was 7, one of the precious gifts that my mom gave me was a summer class on Hawaiian dancing. Looking back, I think the reason why she wanted me to learn how to do that was not only for me to use my time wisely as school was out, but because doing so would help me lose extra pounds. I owe much of my physique to her - though she's not obese, but big-boned and petite. I wasn't able to attend the dance recital at the end of the course though, but I could still recall the choreography involved. Needless to say, I learned how to dance.

I used to watch the Oscars just to see elaborate dance numbers - but that rarely happens now or most probably, I missed watching the ceremonies because of work. I couldn't do street dancing nor ballroom dancing - not even ballet. No Britney Spears for me, too. Although I could kinetically deal with rock, ska/reggae, rap and hip-hop music sometimes (kudos to The Clash, U2, UB40, Eminem, Sean Paul, and Black Eyed Peas). What I do mostly is modern jazz (which I took in college) sprinkled with simple steps from the 60s and 70s, the New Wave-inspired "corinthian", some Michael Jackson moves (he's a good artist - I give credit to that...and moonwalking is cool for me), and grooves of Madonna, Janet Jackson, Paula Abdul (!), JLo, and...Winona Ryder - yes, that girl - I really like her "My Sharona" bop in Reality Bites. Oh, there's Will Smith, too. And...Ricky "Uno, Dos, Tres Maria" Martin (how could I forget this guy's superb hip-swiveling?!). But I don't go to discos. I dance in my bedroom - alone and sheltered from stares, yet people around me would know what I'm doing because of the music I play. How I wish there's a radio station here that's solely dedicated to dance music - regardless of origin and generation. And because I choreograph my own steps, I find it quite hard to deal with a group since I can only remember my own.

Dancing is not only a weight-loss gig for me. I feel so free when I dance, especially with bare feet. And my hands and body move with synchronicity and inspired by how I feel while doing it. I dance when I'm happy...or to lessen my sadness...or just because of the music...or to have some fun. There are songs that are mellow, yet I could dance to them. Compared to pop tunes, Latin music is so sexy and makes me sweat really hard. There are tribal songs that could do the same. And I guess this is where my training in Hawaiian dancing comes into play. I just add some spunk and passion in my movements.

Dancing is a liberating experience. It somehow enables me to celebrate my existence. And I'm glad to see my little one appreciate dancing, too. But I only let her in to my world of seclusion while dancing when I feel happy because I don't want to dampen her spirit when I dance for the blues.

Other people, particularly men, prefer having sex to feel alive and desired. Dancing does that to me - with or without a partner. Although I admit still yearning for someone who can dance with me - literally and figuratively - in this journey called life.