I made it 4 days without eating. Not a calorie passed my lips. Only water, coffee and diet coke.
I am lacking in energy. I've been so dizzy today.
Comments
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gingersoul said on Mar 16, 2008....
You need help.......please...you cant keep going in this way....i am so sorry for you...
you must be screaming for help and understanding and nobody sees it?
Where is your family? Your friends? You daughter?
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I'mNotHungry said on Mar 16, 2008....
There's no one, just me. No one "sees" me. No one. How ironic.
No family. Just me. My daughter is with her father this weekend.
And tonight I want to die. No one would notice. No one would care.I've tried. I've tried to stop. And there is this tremendous internal battle within me, 1 part fighting to die, 1 part fighting to live. I have no idea who to bet on.
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GrapeKoolaid said on Mar 16, 2008....
Hungry? You need to eat something. Just so that it's not a shock to your system, start with something light and bland. Coffee is no good for you, especially if you're not eating anything. Not only will it take whatever nutrients you don't have in your body, it will also pull the calcium out of your bones. Your bone density will decrease if you continue and trust me, you don't want that. It'll be like you've spent time up in the International Space Station. Feeling about as dizzy, too, right?
Seriously, have one hard-boiled egg. Just one to start off with. It has a lot of nutrients packed in a small package.
Please don't give up. There are others who need you here, who would miss your presence. There are others here that need your help, your guidance.
Please don't abandon them.
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gingersoul said on Mar 16, 2008....
Are you still reading?
What are you doing?
Your daughter will be back....she will be happy because she will want to see you...you are her mom..if you dont want it for yourself ...eat for her...she will need you when she will come back home...
if you are reading this..get away from that computer and go eating something......follow Grape suggestions...just something..so you will feel a little bit stronger....dont waste time...
Are you reading?
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MissMimi said on Mar 16, 2008....
Your daughter needs you. Please, if not for yourself, for her. Please eat just a bit of something.The number for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-8255. They will know where to direct you for help. Better yet, go to the ER. Tell them you are suicidal. I know it sounds dramatic, but sweetie, you need help. Please, reach out to someone. There is help available.Please come back and let us know how you are. -
gingersoul said on Mar 16, 2008....
Hungry...see? there are people that even here cares for you.....Mimi gave you a useful tool....maybe just talking with the right person tonight can distract you from these dark thoughts and give you the rigth input you desperately need....
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Lucytorial said on Mar 16, 2008....
Hey there is no point to starving yourself please don't do that, it will not only harm your body irrevocably it will harm your daughter... who I am sure does see you.. like a bright light honey you are her mother.
Can you please put a little luke warm water in a glass, a quarter teaspoon of salt and the same of sugar and drink it, if you are dizzy your body's organs are going to dehydrate...
Let us know you are okay.
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crybabylu said on Mar 16, 2008....
I ask that you eat something, start out small but eat something. please. -
Fallyn said on Mar 16, 2008....
not sure i can add much to the pleas here.
but....you're daughter sees you.
she's your daughter, she can't help but see you.
i was suicidal .....but i couldn't.
my kids.......i couldn't leave that legacy to them.
that their mother abandoned them for her own reasons.
i know it's guilt.
but it's there.
if nothing else....don't do that to your daughter.
no matter how distant she seems right now she is very very much connected to you and your death will drastically affect her for the rest of her life.
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pickersplock said on Mar 17, 2008....
Something better is just around the corner.You can't close the book now!Imagine someone putting down a novel right at the climax, before the happy ending!Don't you want to know what happens next?You'll never find out, if you don't eat something. -
Mamie said on Mar 17, 2008....
and so what did you end up doing aobut this, Hun? I hope today is a better day...I am still reading....best, mamie -
starchini said on Mar 17, 2008....
people can survive weeks with out eating. I read this book this guy went 90 days w out food for some spiritual quest. If ur trying to lose weight though this is just not the way. Ur body goes into starvation mode and holds on to every ounce of fat it has for dear life. I tried to turn myself anorexic before too, i couldnt do it and i became frusturated after a few days bc i wasnt even losign weight. Itll come off much faster w diet and excersize and u wont be dizzy or sick or DIE. People love u and i think deep down u know that. Ur daughter, oh my god ur daughter, turn the tables here and think of how much u love her and how u would feel if she killed herself, she would feel the same way if u killed urself. Do u really want to put her through that? much love, ill pray for u -
Zayda said on Mar 17, 2008....
I'mNot: First, while you can survive without food, you are doing nothing but harming yourself by not eating. And you're filling up on Diet Coke and coffee, which have no nutrients at all. But, they make you feel like you aren't hungry.
If you are doing this to lose weight because you feel ugly and you feel bad about your body image along with the other reasons that you feel bad about yourself that you have sprinkled in your blog, starving yourself isn't going to make you feel any better on the inside. It's not going to make you feel beautiful.
If you want to lose weight because it's a self-esteem issue, instead of starving yourself, which slows your metabolism and, ultimately, doesn't help you lose the weight, you need to work on portion sizes and exercise.
If eating is making you sick because psychologically you are resistant to eating, at least try clear broths like chicken broth or vegetable broth instead of the Diet Cokes and coffee; the broths at least have some nutrients in them that will helps sustain you in some way.
I don't have any answers for you.
But, you need to seek help; reach out to someone, anyone, not just us here. Yes, your posts here are a cry for help. And we can listen, and we can respond, and when can plead and wheedle with you to eat and to get help, but we can't make you.
Ultimately, no one can make you get help for yourself. You have to make that choice.
But, I want you to think about something.
Right now, you seem to see no value in yourself. You see no reason to go on, not even for your daughter because, to you, you "ugly" on the inside and out; you don't value yourself or your own worth.
But look at how many people here are responding to you; who are reading, who are listening.
We see value in you, or we wouldn't be responding.
We want you to get help for yourself.
And if we can see that value in you, then it's there; you just have to find a way to tap into what we see yourself. But you need help to do it--therapy and medical help. See a doctor in addition to your therapist, please. -
Fallyn said on Mar 17, 2008....
if i remember right from not hungrys earlier posts...she weighs less than a hundred lbs as it is....she does not need to lose more weight.
this is a mental health issue.
a serious eating disorder.
i may be mistaken about her current weight...but i'm pretty sure i remember her stating it as quite low as it is.
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starchini said on Mar 17, 2008....
i see, ok i was unaware that she was already far too skinny. Sorry. Well in that case i see hospitalization and feeding tubes as one of few answers. Weighing less than 100lbs leave no time to spare. After hospitalization rehabilitation would be next. You are right fallyn holy crap no time to doddle. I am hungry u need to go to the hospital like RIGHT NOW. Massive heart failure isnt many more pounds away and no one wants that. -
dailyachesandpains said on Mar 17, 2008....
Starch: I developed heart issues during my lowest weight. I was under 100 pounds at 5'7". I had to wear a heart monitor day and night. The thing would beep like crazy when my heart would skip or give a double beat. I would have to unhook the monitor from the main plug of the unit. Then, I would have to call in to an 800 number, give my information, put the device up to the phone and it would make the sound like a fax machine. It would send an EKG reading over the phone. No matter WHAT HOUR, I had to do this immediately. The reports were paged to my doctor and that was the only way for me to know if I needed an ambulance, or not. You are very correct in that this can cause cardiac issues, sometimes fatal.On the other side of the coin, I have a friend that weighs 90 pounds. Sounds shocking, right? Well, now I'll tell you that she's 4'11" and it's not shocking. She actually does have a body fat percentage where I had a very low percentage.I think I'mnot may be helping me get my head back in the game. I have been having a difficult time in recent weeks about my issues with food and feeling "fat" which, in logic, I know I'm not, but I can't get my brain to absorb that I'm not. I'm trying to fit into jeans that were a little loose on me when I was under-weight. Now that I have to squeeze into them, that's the problem. I shouldn't have tried to. I should have been smart enough to go out and buy next size up knowing that I am in recovery.I think we're all able to help each other here, even if it's painful...sadly on someones side it most likely is. This entire topic makes me think of the song "How to Save a Life"I'mnot, I hope you know, you know how to save a life. You may find out you've saved more than one.Daily -
gingersoul said on Mar 17, 2008....
Daily....{{hugs}}....i know how much you have been struggling with this problem, and for you to come over here and face your demons again...well...it takes gut...and you have alot of courage, girl.
I always told you so. And seeing how you are reaching out even in the midst of your own trouble and in doing so being able to to understand better yourself is touching.....you have all my respect.
Hungry.....in your PM you told me you were planning to see your therapist. Hope you are going in the rigth direction. Dont feel cornered and exposed by this outpour of attention toward you. Dont feel like we are hunting you down......each of us wants only giving you some help. That's all...
Its always, ultimately, up to you take it.