The Debate of PeopleNology Wins The Day and The Children.
Gregory Bodenhamer Psychology Psychotherapy PeopleNology PeopleTopians TALKING ABOUT DIFFERENT SUBJECTs that involve all human beings Parents Children Teenagers Adolescents and Behavior Experts vote for PeopleNology has a reliable, fact based, scientifically proven methods and systems to engage a human being.
PeopleNology
Back In Control Author Gregory Bodenhamer The foundation themes that Bodenhamer (Back in Control) (BICGB) introduced are all centered on what he describes as the differences between mandatory and optional rules and I PeopleNology Founder Gregory Bodenhamer (PFGB) can say they mostly fail the test of science, psychology and biological evolutionary findings. Mandatory rules must be obeyed. Optional rules always give children a choice to behave as adults would like, or not behave. Ironically, like most parents and public schools, most residential schools rely on optional rules to get children to behave.
Back in control misses the point. The reality of the world beyond what a probation officer, good or bad, may understand. The evolutionary forces inside our little human pre-adults make a lot of decisions for them, without them knowing it. Gregory Bodenhamer Founder of PeopleNology has isolated over 38 mental health triggers or evolutionary drivers that make all human beings do certain things at certain times without thinking. Back in Control suggests that some choices are mandatory and others are optional. What the author fails to understand or report is that pre-adults, teenagers if you will, have a strong evolutionary component within their decision process. Mechanical thinking or 2 + 2 Thinking does not always work with human beings. PeopleNology proves the point year after year, publication after publication without a price tag of a book or a profit motive.
(BICGB) Punishments & Rewards: Rules enforced by rewards and punishments don't have to be obeyed. If children are willing to accept punishment or forego rewards, they have the option to do as they please. So do immature and impulsive children who don't think about the consequences before they act.
(PFGB) PeopleNology - This is bank robber stuff. Punishment always works and Rewards always work. Back in Control does not understand the human being except in the negative. Human beings, created by Mother Nature is the most perfect creature that ever walked mother earth. Consequences are both positive and negative and have different effects. If you want something to continue you reward or offer positive consequences. If you want something to stop you offer negative consequences. There is a third option of doing nothing which is also very powerful. De-motivating another human being is very difficult for parents. It falls within some of the tough-love ideas. Ignore them. Do not relate to their pain, wishes or wants and pretend they don’t occupy any space.
PeopleTopians
Gregory Bodenhamer
Searching For Why
PeopleNology PeopleTopia PeopleTopian® ™ ©
All Rights Reserved Protected Intellectual Copy Rights 2008
PeopleTopians are the Living Emotions inside all human beings.
Your Going To Become A PeopleTopian Today
Common feelings and emotional triggers that control everything you think and do regardless of any other circumstances.
From the primitive peoples to modern mankind PeopleTopians, from the life-giving earth, are the elemental psychological biological internal switches that are the absolute master of your life. You may have problems to solve, people to help, friends, children or business associates that are also searching for why? You need to become a PeopleTopian - before the Strangers take over.
Solve Legal Issues - Financial Problems - Dating and Mating Issues
These emotional triggers are so absolute at times they become visible. You cannot see PeopleTopians but you can see many results of their actions. Your feelings or emotions are the evolutionary triggers that live inside all human beings. Mother nature does not discriminate. You have all the PeopleTopians inside you that your parents carried around, and their parents before them. PeopleTopians control you. PeopleTopians are the primitive attitudes, behaviors, emotions and feeling that are inseparable from any human being. Our own PeopleTopians became part of us over millions of years of evolutionary biology. Around 500,000 years ago science has revealed that they (PeopleTopians) have been implanted or at least started the process of being implanted within our blank mind slate.
Stop Shoplifting - Teen Depression - Violence - Poor Grades
Most people never realize this most important fact. Millions of years of biological evolution has been the GOD of you and every other human before you. It’s not a statement of creation or nature it’s simply just a proven fact. Biology, Geology, Evolution, Chemistry made you and Gregory Bodenhamer within his work of PeopleNology - PeopleTopia - PeopleTopians through Psychology, Philosophy and Sociology has unlocked many of the secrets held inside human beings.
Issues Grief - Running Away - Self Injury - Sexual Abuse - Suicide
Another important fact is that a human being - like the ones walking around today - have not been on earth that long, considering the time earth has been around.
You, your parents, children, supervisor, teachers, pastor, gas station attendant has been molded through the absolute force of CULTURAL DISCIPLINE and EDUCATION.
When Strangers Take Over - Asking Smarter Prettier - Searching for Why
After the last ice age - Homo Sapiens - Me and You - seemed to survive the battle of climate change, finding good food, defeating the cold, killer animals and other events. Millions of years of biological evolution did not disappear because we decided to raise our food on farms, build shelters etc.
We have become CIVILIZED by culture or at least we have attempted to become civilized.
Why Love Anger Frustration - Without Fathers - So Many Secrets
Culture building, a tiny little scratch compared to biological evolution has only been around a bit over 10,000 years. Our biological foundation has been around millions of years, living inside other species of so-called human beings that came before us.
Those BIOLOGICAL, GEOLOGICAL, EVOLUTIONARY, CHEMICAL, ASTRONOMICAL, ECOLOGICAL beginnings are all very much alive and well inside every human being. These developmental forces have been proven, over and over again. Progression of our CIVILIZATION is causing human beings a great deal of stress, nervousness, anxiety. constant worry, fear and at times trauma.
How Support - Relationships - Positive Limits - Difficult Subject
Your Biological self is being held down by culture building. The real you is being conquered by rules, regulations, schedules, work, financial commitments and other real life events.
Culture building, experiences, education and emotional controls do not supersede or reverse the Biological you or the PEOPLETOPIANS that you contain. Mother nature wins the day, moment and second of your every thought, effort or action. Society tries to control you. Mother nature wins. Your supervisor tries to control you. Mother nature wins. Culture tries the same thing, mother nature wins.
Control Raising - Dependent - Smart - Strong - Confident - Girls - Boys
You have been taught - culture learning - civilized - to be kind to other people. If you’re stuck on an island with that other person, without any food except one slice of bread, you’ll kill the other person.
People - civilized - find this shocking. Mother Nature - Evolutionary Earth Laws - Primitive Behaviors - Evolutionary Mind Triggers known as PeopleTopians are unconditional.
Mother nature doesn’t care if you know how to read. Civilization wants you to learn how to read. In fact the ability of communication through language is most likely the biggest reason we’re all still alive. Language is the way that we still know how to start, stop and control fire.
What Guide - Fostering - Action Plans - Teen Tips - Survival - Adolescent
Homo Erectus - The human being type before us, learned how to make fire 500,000 years ago. Making a fire is not found within our genes or D.N.A. makeup. Finding food, water and shelter is within our gene pool. It took language to keep the flame burning. One human told another human and so on.
PeopleTopians are the medicine bundles that the creator or nature has allowed to flow through our mind, body and spirits to correct, change, modify, alter, stop or stop our efforts, activities and results.
PeopleTopians don’t make you drop out of school. They don’t make you get married and have children. PeopleTopians keep you safe. Cause you to fear things. Cause you to feel things. Cause you to make and break habits. PeopleTopians don’t care if you went to Harvard or didn’t finish high school.
Extra Income - Child Custody - Single Parent - Real Work - Child Support -
Encouragement - Teen Driving - Preteens - Empty Nest - Military - Rules - Limits
The wisdom found within PeopleNology PeopleTopia and the PeopleTopian principles took over 29 years to research, define, provide evidence and establish their meanings.
The ACTION and PASSION you have inside has been determined by PeopleTopians as revealed by Gregory Bodenhamer Nollijy University Research Institute and has been taught for many years.
Young people, teenagers, adolescents and even adults need to get their life back in control. Parents want control over their children and it seems to be a constant fight. Remove the fighting and insert some proven knowledge and watch your life change in a matter of days.
Psychotherapy - Almost Grown Up - Raising Real People - Responsible Freedom
Maturity - Guiding - Fostering - Action - Tips - Survival - Chemically Dependent
We have many problems within CIVILIZATION that can be corrected by learning PeopleTopians and applying techniques at home, within school and even at work. Teenagers going through a divorce, suffering from grief, wanting to run away from home can all be dealt with, understood by learning and using PeopleTopian knowledge and techniques.
Self injury, sexual abuse, shoplifting, teen depression and even suicide and violence has support from our evolutionary past. Our little humans - children - have the exact same emotions (peopletopian drivers) that little humans have around the world. They struggle to be drug free, bend with peer pressure, thrash about their own body image, fight back feelings of low self-esteem, stupidity and some even have to suffer the pain of rehab.
The parents - larger humans - they too have their conflicts and disputes like home management. How to pay the bills, legal issues, who gets the kids this week, financial management, dating other human beings, adult education, career and other real life pressures.
Learning about PEOPLETOPIANS will change the free-for-all to favorable outcomes, smiles, understanding, loving and caring. The social sciences of Psychology, Philosophy, Sociology have all been rolled up into PeopleNology with Anthropology, Art, Astrology, Geology, Meteorology, Biology, Oceanography, Chemistry, Science, History, Physics, Ecology and may other disciplines to discover PeopleTopians that can be used to change behaviors, encourage better families and relationships.
People want to restore order at home, with their spouse. You can quickly learn PeopleTopians and use this fantastic knowledge for fostering better children, making action plans to correct poor behaviors, understand all the things running through a teens mind, write your own survival guide so you can break though to family, friends and associates for the first time.
Write us today, just click on the link above.
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Thank You
Gregory Bodenhamer
PeopleNology PeopleTopia PeopleTopian
Fortune 100 Consultant Searching for Why
Gregory Bodenhamer
Searching For Why
PeopleNology PeopleTopia PeopleTopian® ™ ©
All Rights Reserved Protected Intellectual Copy Rights 2008
PeopleTopians are the Living Emotions inside all human beings.
Your Going To Become A PeopleTopian Today
Problem Solving (Bargaining, Negotiating, Compromising): If children learn that they can frequently bargain, negotiate, or get adults to compromise behavioral standards, no rules exist. Everything is wind and gossamer.
Freedom to Fail: In this approach to changing children's behavior no rules are ever set and any child willing to accept adults standards of failure can do as he or she pleases. Many children are willing to accept an F on a report card rather than do the work necessary to get a passing grade.
Reasoning: If adults use reasoning to change children's behavior, and the children disagree with their logic, no rules are set and the kids can do as they please.
Getting Tough: If children are told to follow the rules, or get out of the house, they obviously have the option to do as they please if they are willing to leave.
Children are not genetically programmed to clean up after themselves, avoid drugs, study algebra or control their sexual feelings. Like adults, children prefer doing what they want, when they want, and unless there are structures with consistently enforced rules, they will act on impulse and emotion and do as they please. To emphasize his point, Bodenhamer asks parents the following questions: If you don't clearly state your rules, whose interpretation of those rules are your children likely to use, yours or theirs? and, If you don't effectively follow through and enforce your own rules, are your children likely to follow through and enforce them on themselves? and, Are your children likely to be consistent in obeying rules that you aren't consistent in enforcing?
Bodenhamer makes it clear that whenever adults do not, or will not, consistently set and enforce rules, children will see the rules as optional and progressively take control. Many of these kids eventually wind up in residential treatment centers or wilderness programs. Unfortunately, most of them return to the same conditions that created their problems in the first place. Parents and other adults in these situations desperately need a supplemental source of power and control for their children. This book sets out the means and methods to do that.
A parent's guide to teenagers explores thirty-six common teen issues and problems, from sexuality to suicide, offering advice on how to lead struggling teens through these difficult challenges. Original.
Parent in Control:
Restore order in your home and create a loving relationship with your adolescent.
By Gregory Bodenhamer
Reviewed by Lorraine Arlan,
Host in the Parenting of Adolescents Forum.
Order, loving relationship and adolescent...all in the same sentence? Parents of today’s teenagers surrounded by today’s problems...does this sound impossible to you? It doesn’t have to be. Gregory Bodenhamer, formerly a juvenile probation officer, is the cofounder and director of the Back in Control Center in Portland, Oregon, an organization devoted to teaching parents of pre-teens and teenagers how to change their children’s out-of-control behaviors by taking back control.
In "Parent in Control," Gregory Bodenhamer shares with parents and others who deal with difficult children, practical uncomplicated techniques on which the Back in Control program is based. Though written with adolescents prone to the worst of behaviors in mind, the principals presented are sound in dealing with even small problem behaviors. Of course the sooner ground rules and boundaries are established and deviant behaviors are identified and stopped the better but as expressed in the very writing of this book...it is never too late for the parent of an out-of-control adolescent to work on regaining control.
This book is fast concise reading, can be put into practice immediately, yields positive results as short as within a few weeks and is easy to refer back to for a refresher. He apologizes at the outset to those who may find the explicit 'street language' of the illustrative dialogues offensive, though I suspect many of us have encountered such language out of the mouths of our babes. The situations themselves may make uncomfortable reading for some. However the information and skills to be gained are well worth the vile reminder of reality.
Gregory Bodenhamer is not subtle about pointing out the flaws in the various ways many parents handle situations with their adolescents, unwittingly enabling the very behaviors they are trying so hard to eliminate, from everyday frustrations such as provoking arguments to potentially life-threatening choices like hanging out with drug users. We are shown through the real-life scenarios that often, contrary to what the parent believes, the teen is in fact the one in control. The revelations may be difficult to swallow at times, after all he speaks to the heart and emotions of many of us, but upon closer examination of our own disciplinary styles and the results we have been receiving, we can find that he makes very good sense.
Parents are given specific more effective ways to speak to their teens as well as practical actions to take in various situations, including dealing with skipping school, drug use and violence which puts the parents in control for the benefit of their teens, getting them back on track. Along with the parent regaining control, comes the added benefit of a mutually respectful and loving relationship with their teen. Some may even find, as I did, that once the parent gains control over a particular aspect of a teen’s misbehavior, other problem behaviors begin to settle down on their own.
"Parent in Control" has been very helpful to my family and others I have recommended it to. No method can be one size fits all but for parents who are willing to give Gregory Bodenhamer’s techniques and guidelines full effort and determination, you could soon be bringing your adolescents’ out-of-control behaviors back in control and enjoying the order and loving relationships that follow. I am grateful to have found "Parent in Control" and I now pass it on to you.
Adolescence can be a difficult and confusing time for both parent and teenager. This reference addresses the issues raised by adolescence in an authoritative manner designed to help parents meet the unique challenges
How parents set boundaries with their teenagers is one of the most important aspect of the parent-child relationship. Unfortunately, this ability does not come automatically with parenthood
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Applies biblically based principles to handle the challenging task of raising teens, explaining how to apply boundaries and addressing the attitudes, conflicts, and difficulties of parents themselves to help them resolve...
Always harmful and potentially deadly, eating disorders can wreak havoc on families. Unfortunately, the same can often be said of their treatment: blaming parents for the illness, many eating disorder programs exclude parents
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Drawing on the latest research and interviews with experts in different fields, Girl in the Mirror sheds new light on one of life's most important passages, the journey that is adolescence. Unlike other books
A series of narratives by mothers reveals the wonders and the heartbreak that accompany raising a teenage daughter, discussing academics, sex, athletics, and substance abuse, among other important issues confronting adolescents
A refreshingly positive perspective on the mother-daughter relationship that captures both voices, Between Mother and Daughter is geared toward both mothers and teenage girls who want to maintain or rekindle a healthy relations
A psychologist offers peace-making strategies for parents who don't know where to turn. The sullen, withdrawn, sarcastic teenager. The defensive, wary, and helpless parent. This book builds a bridge between the two sides
"Helping Your Chemically Dependent Teenager Recover "is written for the parent whose child has serious problems with alcohol or other drugs. It recognizes that both teenager and parent need to recover from the disease
Packed with advice on how to improve relations between teens and parents, this useful guide to a difficult relationship steers clear of stereotypes and clichés to focus on practical, proven methods
child psychologist who has helped millions of parents learn to raise their children and remain sane. In Teen-Proofing, now available in paperback, he tackles the challenges of raising a teenager
Practical strategies for the adolescent years from an expert in adolescent medicine The overwhelming majority of adolescent health problems today result not from physical disease, but from worrisome behavior
There may not be a cure for adolescence, but there are ways for parents of teens to survive these challenging years! Parenting expert Tom McMahon has gone straight to the source -- veteran moms and dads -- to try and solve..
This book presents a powerful new framework for psychotherapy with today's teens, for whom high-risk behavior, lack of adult guidance, and intense anxiety and stress increasingly come with the territory.
An expert and practitioner in adolescent psychology offers parents a description of normal adolescent behavior patterns
Like the outside world, even families go through the trials and tribulations of life. These easy-to-read new books provide guidance and understanding for young people who are dealing with divorce, death, or family rules
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Comforting a colicky baby sounds like a cakewalk in comparison to the tales in these essays. As Anna Quindlen puts it: ""Those of you waiting for your babies to sleep through the night will be amazed at how quickly they
Meeting the support needs of young people is a key social and political issue, and an area that needs researched, informed guidance. This book draws on the findings from years of applied research projects carried out
Building character in teens is a matter of teaching them to "know the good, love the good, and do the good." This book will show you as a parent how to help teens build character by using his or her
Challenging the notion that teenagers need medication to heal them of various psychiatric disorders, the author of this parent's guide to raising healthy teenagers relies on twenty-five years of clinical experience to suggest
An important goal when communicating with teens is talking with them just to talk. This helps build and strengthen the bond between you. While it can be hard ‘just to talk’ with a teenager, it is possible! Stay involved in things that interest them, make a favorite meal with dessert or text them on their cell phone. These times offer an opportunity for you start a conversation and get to know your teen as he/she becomes the person he/she is going to be.
Since it will be your teenager that is attending college, the first ten important questions to ask will be to him. Keep this question and answer session conversational and light, but let him know that the answers are important and he has time to think about it. Actually, the best time to have this conversation is when your teenager is just starting high school, so that he can have years to form his answers.
Why do you want to go to college?
Do you want to go to school for two years or four years?
What do you want to be? What job do you want to have?
What majors are you considering? How will this major get you to what you want to be?
Are there other careers you have considered?
What high school grades will you need to get into college? Do you have a plan on how to obtain those grades?
What high school classes will you need to go to college? Does your high school have those?
Have you considered the cost of college? Have you considered how we are going to pay for it?
Do you want to live at school or do you want to live at home?
What do you want the school to offer besides your major? What extracurricular activities are you interested in?
Ok, you've gotten a call that every parent would dread. Your teenager has been picked up for shoplifting. This is 'one of those things' that you have always prayed wouldn't happen, but it has. Now you have to deal with it. Here are a few tips to help you get through this trying time.
When you first get the call, write down where you need to go to get your teenager and the phone number of the facility. Many parents do not do this and try to figure it out after they have hung up the phone. Avoid this added stress by writing it all down.
Avoid confronting your teenager at the scene or facility. It just will not help and could go against both of you if charges are filed.
Find out who is in charge and treat this person with respect. Find out if charges are being filed.
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Write these things down; do not rely on your memory.
When you get home with your teenager, take a time out. You will both need it. There is nothing wrong with letting your teenager know that you are not prepared to discuss this with them yet.
Talk with your spouse about consequences. Try and do this a day or two later, so that you know you are over the shock and have calmed down.
Lay out the consequences in an Action Plan for your teenager.
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Parents, educators, and other concerned adults should watch for signs of gang involvement. Changes in a child’s behavior or activities, which may be early warning signs of gang involvement, include
change in types of friends
changes in dress habits, such as wearing the same color combination all the time (note: that style changes quickly and just because a child wears a certain type of clothing does not mean he or she is in a gang)
displaying gang symbols on books, clothing, or locker
wearing tattoos carrying extra cash from unknown sources
carrying a weapon
losing interest in school and family
getting arrested or detained by police
becoming truant
using alcohol and other drugs
talking in gang-style language
using hand signals to communicate with others.
Teens who run away are not bad.
They have made a bad decision. They got themselves caught up in pressures that they felt the need to escape from. Instead of facing their problem and solving it, they chose to run from it. We need to teach our teen how to face their problems, even if the problem is us. When they have the right tools to fix some of the things that may be going on in their lives, the pressure lessens, and there is no more need for them to escape.
Every teen either has tried or knows another teen who has run away.
I haven't meet a teen yet who didn't know of someone's experience of running away. This can be a real problem, considering most teens will glamorize the experience.
You can not lock them in.
As much as you would like to build a wall around them, it is their choice whether or not to walk out the door.
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The phrase I use, "There are no bars on these windows, and the doors only lock people out." This is harsh, and I know it, but it also very much the truth. As a parent I can be a safety net, a tool box, and an emotional punching bag, but I refuse to be a chain. I do not want them to ever leave. There is nothing that they can do to ever make me want them to go. My teens know this because I tell them verbally and non verbally.
Parents of teens who run away are not bad parents.
'A survey done by the National Runaway Switchboard of the children who call the service indicates that about 16 percent of runaways have been abused physically, emotionally or sexually.' (Taking a run at the runaways problem, by Gary Miller) Children of abuse tend to stick around, and not run from the situation... this is another feature.
If your Teens Runs:
Call the Police, IMMEDIATELY!! Don't wait 24 hours, do it right away. Ask investigators to enter your child into the National Crime Information Center (NCIC) Missing Persons File. There is no waiting period for entry into NCIC for children under age 18. Get the name and badge number of the officer you speak with. Call back often.
Call everyone your child knows and enlisted their help. Search everywhere, but do not leave your phone unattended.
Search your teens room for anything that may give you a clue as to where he went. You may also want to check your phone bill for any calls they may have made recently.
Call the National Runaway Switchboard 1-800-621-4000, you can leave a message for your child with them.
When Your Teen Comes Home:
Take a break from each other.
Do not start talking about it right away. Your emotions are too high at this point to get anywhere in a conversation. Go two separate directions until you both have gotten some rest.
Ask and Listen.
Why did they leave? You may want to evaluate a rule or two after speaking with them, but do not do so while having this talk. Tell them you are willing to think about it, and you will let them know.
Talk!
Tell them how you felt about them going, let them know that they hurt you by leaving. Let them know that there isn't a problem that you, together can't solve. If they ever feel that running away might solve something, have them talk to you first, you could always offer other choices, so they can make a better decision.
Get some help.
If this isn't the first time or you have problems communicating when they get back, it's time to ask for help. This could be a person that your child respects, i.e. aunt or uncle. Or you may want to seek professional help, one place to check online is Raising Today's Teen.
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