Yes, once again it's time for 120 meals with me, pickersplock!
Tonight we will be preparing a spaghetti dinner!
Make sure you have;
1 jar of sauce
1 box of spaghetti
1 pound of ground meat (beef, turkey, whatever)
1 loaf of bread with butter (side dish)
salad (don't bother making a big one, only you and your husband will eat it; the kids will accuse you of trying to poison them)
grated Parmesan cheese (make sure it's the one in the green box, because if it's any other color, they won't go near it)
Okay, here we go!
Are we all washed up? Yes, but we're still doing the best we can! LOL
Now, fill a large pot with water and turn the burner on high.
You may have to break up a fight at this point, so don't forget to put the pot on the burner.
Answer the phone and tell the telemarketer you don't do business over the phone, so sorry, she'll have to get her donations to the Society for the Prevention of Rusty Oatmeal Upholstery, somewhere else.
At this point, dump the sauce in a pot and put that on the burner also, put it on low heat.
Help 12 year old look up the 12 points of the triangular latitude of Napoleon's Isthmus on the computer.
Tell 9 year old to go find his clothes and not to run around in front of the sliding glass door naked! Explain, that he must wear clothes at all times in public areas, and by the way, go flush the toilet because the smell is permeating the house and it will attract the dog;enough said.
Strain the pasta.............oops, put some more water in the pot and wait for it to boil again.
Turn on the burner under the frying pan and put some oil in the pan, burner on very low.
Answer the phone, tell the telemarketer, sorry but, you are not home at the moment, but you would be happy to take a message for yourself.
Find 12 year old's science textbook, paper, calculator, eraser, and protractor.
Pour yourself a big glass of Chablis..........................drink all of it.
Is the water boiling?
Great, put the pasta in. Don't worry about the size and shape, some-one's not going to like it anyway, so why bother?
Turn the burner up under the frying pan and put the ground mystery meat in.
Think up unusual answers to the question, "What's for dinner", while you're breaking up the meat with a spatula. My personal favorite is, "Worms and dirt."
Yell, "I am not leaving this kitchen and you are, get out, out, out!"
This will need to be done a minimum of eight times.
Also, "You have an entire house to build your city in, stop building it in the kitchen! You're going to get stepped on!........................See, what did I tell you, it's your own fault, what, do you think I have eyes in the back of my head", may be necessary.
Strain the pasta!
Turn off all the burners.
Talk 12 year old out of spending the rest of his life in seclusion.
Bribe 9 year old to set the table with candy. Then explain, that you did not mean for the candy to be used as a place setting, but rather, if he set the table he would receive a candy as a reward.
Dinner's ready!
I'm going to take a bath and drink some more Chablis.
Serve yourselves!
