• Lucytorial said on Mar 16, 2008....

  Self harms an easy way of feeling in control but it is not going to give you what you need and that is only achievable when you figure out that the beauty your friend speaks of is the beauty of who you are as a person and not your looks.
  When will you be seeing your psychiatrist again? if it is not tomorrow I suggest you call someone right now, to talk real time about your health, the health of your heart more than anything.
  
  A broken heart can do awful things to a person, it is mendable though with help and friends and people who listen of which I would like to do if you come back.
  
  I've been down annorexia and I've self harmed as a younger women I understand the turmoil.
  

• dailyachesandpains said on Mar 17, 2008....

  I noticed your user name and had to come by. 
   
  I'm recently recovering from an eating disorder...mainly starvation.  I would only drink certain things and had "tricks" for other things.  I feel like I've been falling off the wagon to getting well. 
   
  I have never cut, but a friend of mine has/does.  Both of her parents were diagnosed with cancer, and they're all she has.  If they have a positive doctor's appointment, she cuts herself to feel the pain that she thinks she "should" feel if they had a bad news appointment.  Do you cut when you think you should be feeling pain?
   
  I do dumb and gross things to make up for having to eat.  I pick at my dry skin.  Not good. 
   
  I had to realize that I have a Husband and a Daughter that both need ME.  How selfish it would be of me to let myself to not think of how they would feel if I wasted away to nothing.  Some days thought, I just can't deal with the anxiety and panic disorder I have and feel like I'm married to the disease and need to please it.  It's something so strong and powerful. 
   
  I've been seeing a shrink for over 10 years now and have been on every medication out there.  It takes time to find the right combination of medications that "work" and I had to realize that and stop getting frustrated if things weren't going "my way" with the medication.  I was getting so bad that they asked me to volunteer going into the hospital for treatment.  I don't know if you have kids, but, the last think I wanted my Daughter remember about me was Mommy going into the loony bin.  It was only at that moment that I took the reins and decided that I wouldn't allow myself going into the hospital on my own, or by them physically removing me from my house to the hospital. 
   
  I think I am finally on the right combination of anti-anxiety medications.  I really hope you are able to get the right meds. too when you go to the doctor.  Please go.  I know just as much as I'm sure you do that it's no fun going day to day doing things because of urges or because you feel you "need" to.  You can't go through this alone.  The doctor's WILL help you...I promise.
   
  I'll be thinking of you.
  {{{HUGS}}}
  Daily

• Mamie said on Mar 17, 2008....

  I am so glad that daily and Lucy stopped by here. They fight the good fight too, you see? What would you say to her/them to help her out? Can you say those same words of encouragement to yourself? I sure hope you will. Mamie

• starchini said on Mar 17, 2008....

  I used to be a cutter, it didnt have much to do with making my outside match my inside but i was so stiffled and couldnt express myself and i felt so much pain on the inside and needed to direct it somewhere and release it, slashing my arms worked all the pain escaped through the gash and i felt better almost immediatly.  Then there was an intervention my counselor didnt help me much its hard for people to get into my head.  The only reason i stopped  was bc i had an epiphany on my own.  I think the key is to let ur pain out elsewhere.  Like on here.  Let everything inside, out.  Dont keep ur hurt bottle up, let it explode.  Ull feel better afterward and have less scars...all my love, i hope u get through this before u cut to deep...

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