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Takin down the bank, whos w me?

Mr.President posted on Mar 11, 2008 | views: 163 | Tags: bank, monkies, sheep, I think about stuff too, Packers
I feel like i am spinning in circles watching everyone around me reach the stars
while i am growing roots to the ground.
 
At night i have visions of what my life could be like if i only did this and that...
If i only, If i only...
 
Who does these if onlies?
 
All of my if onlies seem impossible...
if only i could manifest ten thousand dollars then i could...
if only i was born a trump, then i could...
if only i had a trustfund...
if only i could save...
if only i could be happy...
 
So many...what are some of your if onlys?
 
Im not an english major how the fuck do u make only plural?  onlys, onlies...
those look very wrong to me...
 
Anyway,  then i wake up after spending my night dreaming about what i COULD
be, not what i am...
 
Some people say be happy with who u are.
Other people say u could be anything u want to be.
and ten percent of people say grgle frumplider, oot cow chomplidee
i think we all know "those" people...
haha
 
after im awake and begin my day nothing is different and i dont see how i
could make it different.  I cant save ten grande, im not a trump etc...
I HAVE to go to my dead end job and i have to spend my check...
 
Yaya ive heard "well if u put away even two dollars a check, in a year ull
save $72.00" 
no thanks
 
Thats it ive made up my mind, tomorrow i will knock over a bank...
Take the cash and drive my stolen chevelle to mexico.
Ill buy a yacht and grab ten or so kegs of CORONA and sail of in the sunset completly shit faced...
 
Ahh that would be my dream come true...
 
Alas i think ill just finish the quarterly taxes for month and vacuum the office.
Then ill go to my second job.  So who wants to be me?  not you, or you, or you..
interesting.
 
Yes i work a total of 14 hours mon-fri and 8 on saturdays, all the math wizards
how many hours is that a week?
Not to mention, i go workout at the gym before work in the morning
5 days a week
 
The only thing that could possibly make my life suck worse is if i got PREGNANT
AHHHH!!!!! 


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Comments

  • Mr.President said on Mar 11, 2008....
    wait a min thats right u have to have sex to get pregnant and i am not getting any. 
    just another notch in the belt of my awesomeness...NOT
  • travelr712 said on Mar 11, 2008....
    that's 78 hours a week mr. pres. except that i'm not so sure you're a mr. now. and i think you'll find that robbing said bank isn't all it's cracked up to be. like everything else, the reality is fraught with so many unpleasant details, and very, very few that try actually achieve that goal, so you'd end up sitting in a jail cell instead of sailing away on a sea of corona. if i may, i'd say the biggest problem you have is that you just work far too many hours. economic situation aside, that is unhealthy physically and mentally for anyone. i know, i used to have to do it for months on end every year, some times 90 to 100. so one thing that i suggest that would improve your outlook on life is to give less time to work and more time to yourself. i can imagine there are huge financial concequences to doing that, but everything is a tradeoff.
  • Mr.President said on Mar 13, 2008....
    Trav ive missed you!!! 
    Id love to cut my hours in half but i just dont see how i could without completly sabatashing myself.. .wow no idea how to spell that one either...u should help me out on how to make only plural and how to spell sabatosh...
    anyway, i am a cosmetologist and i moved to nebraskie to work as an office manager because im getting paid more at that than i would be as a cosmetologist. 
    BUT i was worried id get rusty as a hairstylist if i didnt keep doing it.  
    This office thing is temporary until i get my surgery and student loans paid off. 
    Im pretty much working at the salon for free bc i have zero clientelle at the moment and pay is completly what i bring in, i just started a few days ago.
    So, i HAVE to work as much as i am, or ill ruin my actual career, and go to jail for delinquent bills. 
    $600.00 a month for surgery
    $200.00 a month for student loans
    $200.00 a month for insurance of all kinds
    and various smaller bills...i get paid ten dollars an hour and chump change from the salon.
    I do not see the light at the end of the tunnel.  Im only 20 i should not be this strapped down right now.
     
    lol and no im not a Mr.  I just wanted a powerful name, makes me feel less weak.  If im the president i can do anything.  Its my new mantra i keep repeating to myself when im feeling like everything is completly impossible.  : P
     
    Thanx Trav.  Hows ur life going these days?
  • travelr712 said on Mar 13, 2008....
    well, my life is busy and hectic, hardly a moment to myself. thank you for asking.
     
    i understand your money troubles. it's always a struggle to balance financial and personal. if this is the kind of load you're forced to carry, i guess all you can do is be thankful that you're still young and have the stamina to get through it. it sounds like you won't have to do it for all that long. at your age, a year must seem a long time, but by the time you're 30, it'll seem like a month. and you'll have that debt behind you and a better life financially before you. maybe that'll help see you through?
     
    btw, you know who i am because i'm using the same screen name i've always used, but i don't know who you are, or used to be. so who are you?
  • travelr712 said on Mar 13, 2008....
    oh, btw, it's sabotage. and there is no plural to the word 'only'. that's because it is specifically singular. you would have to put a verb with it and make the verb plural. such as 'who does these if only subjects?' but that sentence still is gramatically incorrect, so it really doesn't matter if you've pluralized a singular. you were speaking colloqually, and that means anything goes :-)
  • Mr.President said on Mar 14, 2008....

    Ahh thanks for clearing all that up for me trav...

    im Starchini...but its a secret.

    seems to me that Mr.President isnt half as popular

    as starchini was.  Thats ok tho. 

    Sometimes u get cought up in the community aspect of

    this site and forget y you came here in the first place.

    Having lots of friends and readers was nice tho.

    Ah well...u prolly dont even remember me.

  • travelr712 said on Mar 14, 2008....
    ahh, star! yeah, you went silent there for awhile. i just went to your other blog and saw you were posting again. i'm glad, and i certainly do remember you!
     
    i'm sorry i didn't answer you earlier. they've revolked our frivolous internet rights at work, so i can't even come to sc anymore. but i see that you're going to use the starchini account again, so i'll go there now. glad you're back :-)
  • lfbno7 said on Mar 15, 2008....
    i forgot what i was going to say
  • lfbno7 said on Mar 15, 2008....
    oh yeah, i remember. become a friggin pharmacist.
  • Mr.President said on Mar 15, 2008....

    aw thanks trav

    a pharmacist...why? lol

  • travelr712 said on Mar 15, 2008....
    pharmacists get the best drugs! ;-P
  • Mr.President said on Mar 16, 2008....
    yes they do trav.  i could use some pills
  • bloggingman said on Apr 16, 2008....
    Why just the other day I was thinking if only....
     
    (Insert Scooby-Doo dream sequence)
     
    There I was...
     
    Butt naked at the Lincoln memorial.  Abe was looking away. I was thankful cause it was cold that morning and I wasnt living up to my true potential if ya know what I'm saying..(shrinkage dear).  Anyway, there I was butt naked in our nation's capitol at one of our nation's most famous landmarks. I was getting hungry and chicken wings sounded good. Lo and behold, a chicken wing vendor with a cart comes strolling by.  I ask for the 20 piece with extra bleu cheese and extra baby wipes.  He hands me the wings, I hand him the cash. At this point I realize the vendor is none other than Ryan Seacrest from American Idol. He gives me a shy smile and blushes. I bitch-slap the little queer and walk away with my wings and dignity intact.  So I sit down on the steps (ooh those are cold!) and tear into the wings like a madman.  I'm about six wings in when I realize, Hey! I forgot to get something to wash these down with. So here it is...my if only...
     
    If only I had gone to culinary school instead of studying political science. Not only would I have never met that crazy, power hungry senator and married her maly ass (cant say her name..anonymity an all), also I coulda started my own mobile chicken wing cart vendor company.  I coulda beat the pants off that sissy-boy Seacrest.  Also I woulda offered the customer a drink with purchase of wings.  That's just common food industry standard.
     
    (All names and places have been changed to protect the innocent, except that little girl-boy Seacrest)
     
    Simon Cowell rocks!!
     
    go packers...
  • starchini said on Apr 16, 2008....

    U are a riot,  i think ur full of shit but u make me laugh, so i like you : )

    GO HUSKERS!

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