Soul-mates is an overly used term in many instances what people perceive as truly compatible soul-mates is merely the embodiment of two equally balanced individuals working as one.
It is a nice and romantic notion that even I as a man, relished in for many years but the notion is well over-used and often thought of as the ideal mate. This can only be the furthest from the truth for many people both male and female since most often they continue to pick based on their ideal physical and emotional needs as their mind perceives them and fail to truly find a match.
There are some couples who for one reason or another seem to be perfect for one another but, who can truly put a mark on what makes them truly compatible? Could it be they have the same ideals, maybe? Could it be they have the same goals, possibly? It could simply be they have the same outlook on life, love, happiness and quite often religion.
This makes many couples truly happy with one another and some just make everyone think they are truly happy as they never fight or have a harsh word in public or in front of their children, then suddenly in their late 60’s when both are home all the time, they get divorced and never go near one another again, it happens.
Were they soul-mates or just two people who for many years wouldn’t face the fact they couldn’t stand one another’s bad habits? Who knows? Many people often think they have found their soul-mate and marry only to spend the next years of their lives wondering what they ever truly saw in this person in the first place.
Men blame it on women trying to change the way they were before they married even if they lived together first all the while Women place blame on men, work, kids, sex and whatever seems to be in their minds wrong with the man in their lives. Whoever is to blame is irrelevant either they are your soul-mate or you were fooling yourself into thinking that love was only about soul-mates and not about working to make a marriage work, not everyone can have a quiet, sane, drama-free marriage/relationship and your fooling yourself if you think otherwise.
johnlove posted on Mar 11, 2008
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Comments
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pickersplock said on Mar 12, 2008....
Ain't that the truth?! -
Scottish_GRRL said on Mar 15, 2008....
John,You hit on the mark! I believed the soulmate idea for a long time, and came to find out that it is probably some over blown hyperbole. And now everyone's buying into it. I absolutely cinge when I see a man's online dating profile, and it's right up there in the tag line. While I believe that there is happiness to be found in 2nd & 3rd chances, and have plenty of examples in my family and friends, it really comes down to how much can you overlook (on both sides) before you give up too much of yourself to avoid conflict and/or please the other? A major reason I left my marriage, even with 2 small children (who are thriving with a good, civil co-parent relationship; I know, not everyone has this). And I am being who I meant to be, and never could been if I'd stayed. Cheers, SG -
gingersoul said on Apr 06, 2008....
John......I believe in soulmate. I dont believe we necessarily end up marrying them. I have had few soulmates in my life, namely friends.
I didn't live with them or tried to change them or married any of them and yet they gave me all my heart was needing.
None of my relatiosnhip with men has been based on the notion that we were soulmates. Surely I never considered my ex husband my soulmate..
I do believe though that when we meet our soulmate its the encounter of two half shells. One is the sensation of belonging. And sharing the same feelings.
Some might eventually end up marrying each other.
But its irrilevant.
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soaringraven said on Jun 30, 2008....
The concept of soulmates has always troubled me on a number of levels. I don't know whether it is a valid concept or not, but if it is I believe that one's soulmate can as easily be a close friend as a life companion.
In my case I do believe that I married my soulmate. Does that mean that our marriage was free from difficulty? Of course not, we had our disagreements. Some of them were quite heated and protracted, what we never lost sight of though was that we loved each other.
Another question often asked is can one have more than one soulmate. Once again I wonder about the validity of the question. But in the sense that I believe soulmates exist, we can certainly have more than one, perhaps more than one at any given time. I have a dear friend who has been a constant part of my life for many years. He is in my mind as much a soulmate as my wife ever was. A romantic relatonship would be out of the question though for obvious reasons. But he has been the one who has been there for me when things didn't seem right, and I for him. He is the one who would freely give of his time and effort to help me with a project, and I would do the same for him. I often think that a best friend can be more the one to 'complete' an individual than can the life companion. And the presence of such a friend in ones life can certainly make the relationship with the companion all the stronger because there is a sense of fullness in both relationships, perhaps between both, that leads to a level of contentment that makes for life happiness.
soaring
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