• MissMimi said on Mar 09, 2008....

  Oh Alyss.  I was just thinking the same thing, only it was the lack of anything but junk e-mails.  Never doubt that you would be missed.  {{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}

• gingersoul said on Mar 09, 2008....

  Alyss...i am sorry you are feeling this way. I can relate with you. There have been days, many of them unfortunately, after my divorce, during which i have been completely alone.

  Me and my dog in this place. Not a soul. No one calling me.

  My daughter was with her father, my family in Italy was busy like my friends here. I wasn't even working yet so i had no reason to get out and eventualy meet people. Nobody would meet me up and down the stairs. I was walking my dog like i was alone in the desert.

  You do feel like life had chewed you up good and spit you aside.

  But, Alyss, its not going always to be like today.

  Your girsl will be back home. ET will call you for sure (you are lucky in this..you are not completely alone since he loves you). And here you can always count on somebody interacting with you.

  Its not easy being alone. When loneliness is not wanted. I know it. It makes more difficult giving a meaning to the everyday life.

  What about watching  a good movie?

  Hope this week will end soon and will find you in a better place. {hug}

• quietone said on Mar 09, 2008....

  Alyss ~ welcome to my world.  Its not so bad, at least there is a roof over my head, and my cats to keep me company... and a phone I could use if I wanted. 

• hidufel said on Mar 09, 2008....

  Alyss i often feel the same way... ((HUG)) If it wasnt for the fact that id call someone or try to make the spark of conversation happen, id be so isolated. I once went a whole week without any talking to someone other then my roommates whom i had to carpool with, or people at work. It was then i realized it was I who had to impose on others just to not be so alone.

• GrapeKoolaid said on Mar 09, 2008....

  Sometimes the silence is deafening...  I understand... 
  
  But at times like that, it's important to remember that you are never truly alone.  You are at the center of a vast network, a dense web of inter-personal relations and can never get away from them, or escape them.  Your absence would be noticed. 
  
  (The royal)We would know it.  :)
  

• EvilTwin said on Mar 10, 2008....

  Unappreciated isn't the right word, beloved.  I hope you know that...  And I would notice.  I would care.  It would scare me to death if you were to disappear...  I love you, and I do not want you to vanish.
   
  I'm sorry love.  Yesterday was not how I planned it to be...  I wish I had been able to call, to be with you. 

• scipio said on Mar 10, 2008....

  Yes, it can be quite depressing to be lonely. It can drive you crazy - specially if you are used to having family and friends around. I have recently experienced it and believe me it can be quite frightening. Thought I would involve in my hobbies without any disturbance - but it is just not the same. Try getting involved in some social service activities where at least you can interact with people  and just take part in groups ( like music appreciation or literary ) which meet regularly on certain days - so that you can always look forward to attending the same. Would be glad to assist if need be.

• the_infernal_optimist said on Mar 10, 2008....

  ((hugs))
  
  Sometimes I feel kind of like that, esp. since my phone doesn't ring for days at a time. It can definitely be a case of "too much quiet/alone time" sometimes, once the kids are in bed!
  
  You would be sorely missed if you disappeared. Your presence is a constant goodness in this world.
  
  ~Infernal
  

• truthsayer said on Mar 10, 2008....

  Have you asked yourself why you feel this way?  Is it really because your phone didn't ring?  No on knocked on your door?  Or is it deeper than that?  How would your weekend be, if you lived in a perfect world, or in an imperfect world...that you were personally allowed to make a better place?  It is true that there are many things (people, places and things) that we cannot change...but, there are things that we can change...if only we will take that challenge personally. 
   
  You might try journaling about that, and then, when you understand yourself and your dreams better...take a step, a baby step or a giant step, towards the future that you desire. 
   
  I really liked scipio's advice.  You like to write, don't you?  Do you like to read as well?  Good music?  Is there something you have always wanted to learn?  It just sounded like good and simple advice...something for you.  Just for you. 
   
  I have been meaning to check on you...and today was a good day to read you.  : )  Dare to be happy Alyss...content...serene.  You have it in you, I can tell.  Thanks for sharing here.  I always enjoy your blogs.  Shape you world, make some adjustments or some radical changes...the choice is yours lady.  Stir the waters...shake the anthill.  ; )
   
  truthsayer : ) 

• silverwhisper said on Mar 10, 2008....

  yes, you would be missed. and yes, people would notice.
  
  and if you don't believe me, i shall request of a certain juvenile river horse of our mutual acquaintance that he visit and apply a trout-smack--i figure an up-close-and-personal trout-smack might be best delivered by that acquaintance. :>
  
  now, in all honesty, i was thinking about you both saturday and sunday, and wondered how you were doing, knowing that i haven't seen you much here.
  
  so please, consider the matter or i shall take up a collection to provide that juvenile rivere horse w/ air fare. :>
  
  [hug]
  
  ed

• scipio said on Mar 11, 2008....

  Alyss: Hope you are OK ? Just extending my hand to offer any assistance.

  Truthsayer: Thank you for your comments. I am not a writer - but I do like to read good well written books. I love music -  now that I am alone and got used to the loneliness I listen to my records -  most semi classics and classics. Other than that I just pass my time going for a walk and be out of the house - to take my mind off.

• Alyss said on Mar 11, 2008....

  
  Oh Mimi....{hugs} I wish I'd been around to see this before so I could have emailed you something cheery to brighten your inbox.
  
  ginger, thank you for understanding. I wasn't trying to complain and I wasn't really feeling particularly lonely, it was more of an observation and I suppose an anxiety.
  
  I know that in the real world and online world there are those that would notice my absence but how many of them would know anything was wrong or be able to do anything about it? Sorry, just being a little melancholy I suppose.
  
  quiet, I don't mind the quietness or even the solitude. What I dislike is the feeling of being alone and uncared for, which I know is an illusion but still it hovers sometimes.
  
  hidufel, I am not at all confident about imposing myself on others, I have been rejected too many times to risk it without very good cause and while I have my children and job that suffices most days.
  
  Grape, the royal we might indeed notice but how many could actually follow me if I did vanish? A few have an email address for me, a rarer few have a postal address. Only one has the means to contact me directly.
  
  scipio, thank you for stopping by.  I suppose I could try to arrange something for the times I am alone, and I am going to sound like I am making excuses, but that's exactly the sort of thing that scares me half to death. Perhaps when I am feeling stronger I might take a look at what's out there, thank you for your suggestions.
  
  Infernal, thank you and {hugs} for you too.
  
  

• Alyss said on Mar 11, 2008....

  
  
  truth, I have been wondering that myself. What exactly is it that was upsetting and why? I enjoy solitude and peace and quiet and don't usually have a problem with them. I have been feeling out of sorts generally so perhaps I am feeling a sense of mortality that I'm not usually conscious of. < shug >
  
  Losing myself in a  book isn't usually a problem for me but even that has been defeating me recently. All the suggestions are valid and appreciated and I will give them further thought.
  
  
  ed, as I said to Grape, only one person has the means to contact me directly and if I wasn't answering the phone then he'd be in the same position as everyone else. I appreciate the thoughts.
  
  If you were to send the juvenile river-horse around to trout smack me that would scare the bejeebers out of me, but I'm curious though, why him?
  
  scipio, I am okay more or less, thank you for asking.

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