I have a rare afternoon alone, my son is with his father, so i have time to think. This can be dangerous. So.... i got to wondering. Why is is some people think that they are dominant when in fact, they are just bullies? And why is it that some people think that because you are submissive, they have a right to be rough/use you etc.
Now, i know i am very new at this, first Master and all, but i have had a lot of experience with people in general. Do you think we have a scent that draws those people toward us, like we are animals in distress? In my other life, i am not in anyway sub, my job requires the absolute opposite, so i tend to have a confident, bossy, take charge aura, but i will get to my point.
The last guy i was "seeing" fucking, whatever, is a prime example. Alpha male type. I was seeing him for a long time, until he finally freaked me out, and by this time i had met Master, he had asked me not to see others, that i finally got the balls to break it off. Now i am normally sensible, but for some reason this dude got completely under my skin.
He took my submissive role in the bedroom to mean that i liked rough sex. Well i do, but in the right environment, right person, right moment. Anyhow, this guy had a key to my house, i trusted him, never thought he would let himself in without letting me know he was coming over. I had been seeing him almost two years, and had never seen anything that would warn me that this was coming. He did like to be rough on occasion, but never pschco! I am normally a very light sleeper, but the last time i saw him, i woke with a start to find him standing over me with his hard on in his hand, weird look on his face. You know how it is when you wake from a dream and you can't shake yourself awake? i was like that. Before i had time to think, he had flipped me over, and was forcing his cock in my arse, no lube. i am a very experienced arse fuckee, i love it, but having his pretty large cock shoving in that way was agony. i cried for him to stop, and of course he didn't, he grabbed the front of my throat and started squeezing. I was punching behind myself, trying to get him to stop, not wanting to scream, as my son was sleeping in the next room. i was feeling like i would vomit, starting to panic, fighting like hell. Luckily, all my struggling must have turned him on, after what seemed an hour, but was more like a minute, he came. Just yanked his cock out and stood there dripping cum onto my carpet, looking really proud of himself.
i was too shocked, or too stupid to kick him right out, i felt my friend had betrayed my trust, my faith that he was a "friend". he showered before leaving, kissed me like nothing had happened, and left. I didn't sleep another wink. After a bit of agony & thought, i told Master, not wanting him to think i had been unfaithful, not wanting so early in the piece to bother him with my stuff. He was just perfect, no recriminations, no threats of revenge, just much needed sympathy. "You poor thing, that must have been terrifying." Exactly what i needed, right then, a hug and all was fine. I felt nothing bad would ever happen again. And now locks are changed the next day. Master has the key now :)
So you see, i am thinking now that i must have given a signal, or something....
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sweet_release posted on Mar 08, 2008
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Comments
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pusscat said on Mar 08, 2008....
No my dear sweet release. You did not by any means give off a "fuck me however you want even if it hurts like bloody Hell", signal. What happened was, this guy had sexual desires that he had not shared properly with you or, most likely anyone. You knew him for 2 years - guess he kinda knew you would not wake your son up with anything that would bring him running to your room for him to see what was happening. You'd be surprised what perverted people can use to their own ends. Can you imagine the damage you could have done to him physically if you had had the freedom to really scream and fight!!? Don't you think he knew that? He knew that even if you blanked him for the rest of his life you could not turn back time - so it happened. It's not you s r. If I had met this man before you, I believe it would be me writing what you have just written. Nothing to do with being submissive. It was what he knew he could bloody get away with. Don't you ever, ever blame yourself my darling.pc xxxxxxxxxx -
sweet_release said on Mar 08, 2008....
Hahaha, nah! not blaming myself, just wondering.... and i bet i'm not the only one. i make terrible choices. :)
thanks for listening. -
sweet_rose said on Mar 09, 2008....
Sweet_release dear girl, you were raped. In no way was that asked for or wanted. I wonder if you need to think about that in perspective as well. Even when it is by someone we love it can seem like a just a bad mistake, but it is not your mistake, it is his."So you see, i am thinking now that i must have given a signal, or something...."There is no signal for that... even if you spoke it out loud with him. The minute you say "no" it stops... period. My dear facing the pain of it and excusing it away are two differnet things. I know this because I excused mine away for years. Then it always has a sneaky way of sneaking back in.You need to forgive yourself, for it was not your fault, eventually you may forgive the fucktard that raped you. But you will never forget it. That is where the difference lays in our minds and souls.rose -
sweet_release said on Mar 09, 2008....
:( -
sweet_rose said on Mar 09, 2008....
I know s_r.. I know, but we're here for you. Speaking openly about it is big step and one you have already over come. I am very proud of you. Remember this is very serious, and sometimes we need to speak with some professionally, because there is only so much a Dominant can take upon himself to fix. If you feel yourself sliding down hill, I encourage you to seek that help out. Don't let it damage your soul more than it may have sweet heart. A broken slave is no good to her Master. And you're not broken, so lets keep it that way :-*rose -
sweet_release said on Mar 09, 2008....
Mwah! xx -
DaddysLittleSlut said on Mar 17, 2008....
Some men are such frickin idiots. There is such a huge difference in between the love and comfort of your fantasy story or any of our stories and what this guy did. From everything i've read on SoulCast, our Masters respect us. A rapist doesn't. A similar situation happened to me - i talked my way out of the sodomy, luckily for me but still had to drive the guy home and kiss him good by. He was pretty surprised when he found out i filled out a police report.But, truth be told i would never have called the police. i blamed myself for being a slut and letting him in. when i came home my neighbor saw the look on my face and started asking questions... i burst into tears and told her my story.. and she called the police. she's a strong woman and she helped me be a little stronger that day. at least i feel a bit safer : )s_w soo sorry you had to experience that - it sucks. But, i love hearing about you and your new Master. makes me glow (((* *))) -
sweet_release said on Mar 24, 2008....
Thanks for the kind words DLS. You are right, he is an idiot, still calls sometimes, can't believe i won't have anything to do with him. Go figure. Sir is very different. :)
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A hate crime? Or just a white girl getting raped?... read entire post