• moonriver said on Mar 05, 2008....

  seeking attention? seeking confirmation? seeking acceptance? seeking assurance?
  
  try me.
  
  nothing wrong with you, fallyn.
  
  i'm ready to listen very closely to what you want to say... and even to what you barely allow yourself to say.
  
  

• Fallyn said on Mar 05, 2008....

  thankyou moon. i appreciate that.
  i am up in the middle of the night, when i need to get up in 2 hours...and i've only gotten 1 hour of sleep.
  cause my heart is breaking.
  
  

• pickersplock said on Mar 05, 2008....

  Hey Fallyn.
  Many people here forget this is a place for writing.
  No one said anything about writing the truth.
  While some people may open their hearts and spill out everything for all to see, some like to create a fantasy world, and then there are those that fall somewhere in the middle.
  There's nothing wrong with you.

• Twylarants said on Mar 05, 2008....

  Flyn, I think you care because you've made a connection here with all these strangers....and maybe you're not looking for advice, just acceptance.  What's so terrible about that?
  Everyone uses this place for their own purpose. I use it as a chat room, some use it as an outlet for their creative writings, some as a confessional, some use it as a combo of all those things.
  I have a feeling there are more people here who would not be shocked to hear what you're going through than would be.
  Like Moon said, try us.
  

• queenparanoia said on Mar 05, 2008....

  i think most people come here for attention... like me... nothing wrong with it.... =)

• Actorguy said on Mar 05, 2008....

  The only thing that bothered me in your list of perceived faults was " feeling not wholesome".  I have known a number of un-wholesome people in my day and believe me, honey, you ain't it!
   
  If seeking attention is a fault, then I, and most of the people I know, are in big trouble.
   
  There are plenty of things about myself I don't write about here, and if that skews peoples perceptions about me, then so be it.  It's not about them, I'm here for me. And your blog is for you.
   
  Tell us anything you want and I, too, am ready to listen.

• crybabylu said on Mar 05, 2008....

  that is not being fake!

• the_infernal_optimist said on Mar 05, 2008....

  None of that seems abnormal or bad to me, Fallyn. :)
  
  ~Infernal
  

• tbs230 said on Mar 05, 2008....

  Hey Fallyn, I still see the same person...nothing strange or wrong to me!
  
  Go ahead and do what makes you happy....there's that word again...we need a better word than happy for everything I wish for you in your life!
  

• Zayda said on Mar 05, 2008....

  None of what you wrote seems bad or "wrong" or abnormal to me. Fallyn, if you are afraid of opening up and being real with us, then do it in baby steps. This seems like a good start.

• Fallyn said on Mar 05, 2008....

  oh you guys.
  i know all this...... *HUGE HUGS*
  
  i appreciate the support, i do.
  there's just so much confusing crap in my life right now.
  i've been trying to put on a brave capable front......
  like i'm a bad person, or a bad mother if the kids get to me.
  cause i fought so so hard for them.
  i have no right whatsoever to complain about them....or struggle every day, or need a break. *sigh*
  but all that's what's happening.
  

• travelr712 said on Mar 05, 2008....

  well, i already knew, so i'm neither surprised or put off. but i'm glad you decided to say something about it. i know how hard it was for you to.

• Fallyn said on Mar 05, 2008....

  i don't know why i feel all the time like talking...but then i can't say what i need to say.

• dyingman said on Mar 05, 2008....

  I don't knwo why you care what strangers think, Ms. Fallyn.
  You have a lot of company.
  
  You probably care what EVERYONE thinks.  Tough to believe you worry about us, but not those who know you.
  
  Nature of the beast.
  
  Perhaps you like us better than those around you.  Anonymity might make us a little more open honest and even friendlier than we otherwise might be.
  There's a great appeal to that and one can get worried about losing these friends who are so different from the self-conscious standoffish sociopaths we might be when not at a keyboard.
  
  As a teenager I found intellectual interaction with people over the net (it was all dialup modems then) to be very comfortable when I didn't worry about what I was wearing and I could edit everything I said.  Everyone is smarter when they can backspace over the stupid thing they just wrote.  Maybe the strangers seem better than they are, so you care more about their estimation of you?
  
  some things to mull over, perhaps.
  
  
  
  

• Fallyn said on Mar 05, 2008....

  you think i'm more honest with people around me?
  hardly.
  
  but i understand what you're talking about.
  

• vacantmind said on Mar 05, 2008....

  Well, I am bi! Have been for a long time. Didn't really admit it until I left my children's father. Funny how that happens. Anyways, I believe we don't choose who we fall in love with, man or woman, it just happens.

• vacantmind said on Mar 05, 2008....

  It cut off the last part. I hate it when that happens.

  If we could choose who to be in love with, wouldn't you have choosen to be in love with your ex. I would have. I mean it would have been simpler and easier for my kids. Unfortunately, we don't get to make those choices. Feel free to explore and if you need an ear, I am here.

• No_Laughing_Matter said on Mar 05, 2008....

  So you're confused?
  
  Who isn't?
  
  Life is confusion. Love is confusion. Be who you are. Say what you'll say. Feel what you'll feel.
  
  We only judge others based on what we dislike in ourselves.
  
  If you ever need to talk. I am here.
  
  Try me.
  

• Fallyn said on Mar 05, 2008....

  vacant. *HUGE hugs* thankyou so much.
  and yeah...it pretty much came about when we split up.....seems odd that.
  
  no laughing matter.
  *grin* you are so right.
  thankyou.
  

• lfbno7 said on Mar 05, 2008....

  Is your confusion mostly about being in love with a girl? It's perfectly normal. You aren't the only one.

• Fallyn said on Mar 06, 2008....

  i'm not in love with a girl
  i'm in love with a guy.
  i'm messin around with a girl.
  i like her...but i'm by no stretch in  love with her.
  
  thankyou for forcing me to be rather blunt.
  that's not easy for me.
  

• lfbno7 said on Mar 06, 2008....

  Well I was never in love with a guy. I don't see how anyone can be in love with some dork of a guy. Guys are so boring. No tits either. I don't see the attraction.

• Fallyn said on Mar 06, 2008....

  *can't help myself grinning*
  
  oh...i do.
  

• TNA_UNBREAKABLE said on Mar 06, 2008....

  Nothing wrong with you at all honey! Creativity and imagination are great qualities! It is ok to be original and have your own style. It is respectable!

• Fallyn said on Mar 06, 2008....

  tna *grin* why thankyou so much. *grin* thankyou.

• silverwhisper said on Mar 07, 2008....

  [hug]
  
  fallyn, i don't think you've been in the least bit fake here. not at all. all of what you say here is stuff that i've been able to guess or at which you hinted, if not outright stated.
  
  and guess what, i still like you. :>
  
  ed

• Fallyn said on Mar 07, 2008....

  woo hoo! *laughing*
  i know i twist facts around sometimes......cause i worry about what people think.....so.
  maybe fake isn't the right word....but ....something not quite genuine. i don't know.
  
  

• silverwhisper said on Mar 07, 2008....

  fallyn, we all have things we don't discuss here. trust me, you're no exception that way. it's OK, and you know, if you aren't deceiving people, that's OK, certainly as far as i'm concerned, and i'd wager as far as everyone else is, too.
  
  ed

• Fallyn said on Mar 07, 2008....

  answer me this.....what counts as deceiving and what is the difference between that and just not quite revealing everything?

• the_infernal_optimist said on Mar 07, 2008....

  Pardon my jumping in at random, Fallyn. Deceit is when you deliberately mislead someone into believing something false, I would say. Omissions don't usually count for that. ;-)
  
  ~Infernal
  

• Fallyn said on Mar 07, 2008....

  thankyou ferny....i really don't think i've done the former....but you know? i can't remember ever post i've made....and i know i've done that in real life.
  i know there are people i'm totally fake with in real life......
  namely my parents, and my sister.
  other parents at my kids schools.
  it's just easier that way........i don't need the problems it all brings....but then i struggle....
  
  my kids....i want them to know diversity...i want them to know there is more to life than "normal and acceptable"
  i guess this is why i'm going into stuff with my counselor too....cause i never know what's healthy, and what really isn't.....cause if you listened to people like my sister and her husband....EVERYTHING outside of a conservative christian life isn't healthy.
  

• silverwhisper said on Mar 07, 2008....

  what infernal said about deceit, fallyn. i'm sure you're OK. :>
  
  ed

• Fallyn said on Mar 07, 2008....

  awww, thankyou ed.

• starchini said on Mar 25, 2008....

  FALLYN  your BI?!  AWESOME!  I myself and more accepting of the freaks than the fakers...be open, no one minds.  love ya

• Fallyn said on Mar 25, 2008....

  star. *laughing*
  i'd forgotten this post.
  
  

• TaintedAtBirth said on Mar 27, 2008....

  I just hate it that I only get in at the end of these!

• Fallyn said on Mar 27, 2008....

  tainted *grin* put in your two cents....go for it. *grin*
  i don't mind old posts being revived.
  

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