Dear Farmer's Market Patrons,
I would like to start by saying that I have nothing against organic produce, or delectable warm meals, or organic toiletries, or art pieces such as clay sculpture, carved wooden jewelry, or shiny little "spirit rocks" with "magic" words lasered into them in eye-catching fonts. Pretentious as it may seem, it is everyone's right to follow their bliss and make the things they like to make. Or, in the case of yourselves, Farmer's Market patrons, it is your right to purchase such items with your copious amounts of disposable income.
However, while you are of course more than entitled to purchase organic fruits and vegetables, exotic hot meals, and/or various types of "art," it really irks the locals when your gi-normous "family wagons" take up our precious parking spaces for hours on end.
You see, some of us need to work on Saturday, and some of the locals need to have places to park their cars in order to go to work.
It pisses us off (and makes us late for work, thus pissing off our managers) when you ignorant, fat-assed out-of-towners hog our parking spaces so you can shop at your precious Farmer's Market--without even contributing to the rest of the local economy.
Which, by the way, is the entire reason cities in the Bay Area even allow Farmer's Markets in the first place--to drum up patronage for the local business establishments. Nothing could be worse for a small city's economy than to allow all manner of visitors to come to the local Farmer's Market, only for the out-of-towners to give ALL of their disposable income to the Farmer's Market (which presumably only pays the city a flat rental rate) and NOT help support the local businesses AND make it difficult for the local businesses to function by hogging all the good parking spaces.
Just so you morons can get your f--king organic peas and Thai kebabs and "honeycomb" soap-on-a-rope (which, for all you know, is just useless wax).
So, in the future, if you ARE going to take a car to get to the Farmer's Market, please either take a taxi, carpool with several close acquaintences (so you can do your shopping together and split the gas money), or plan to patronize at least five or six different local establishments (i.e. restaraunts, clothing boutiques, bars, salons, movie/music/bookstores, etc. OUTSIDE the Farmer's Market). Who knows? You might actually find something you like.
If, for whatever pissant reason, you cannot or do not want to support local businesses, please either take the f--king bus, ride a f--king bike, or just f--king WALK THERE.
Because goodness know you pretentious, "eco-friendly" fat-asses could use the f--king exercize!
Sincerely,
BlueHotRage
