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well, it was bound to happen soon anyway. probably because I have been screwing up on my meds. which is really just a vicious cycle. It starts out with not feeling well enough to choke down the pills, so I wait until I can choke them down, which throws me completely off schedule, and then something like this weekend happens.

these are the times I wish I wasn't going through everything alone. I've been trying to be strong for so long, and after a while, something's got to give. I always think of my ~J~. We were together for 5 yrs. I never , ever had someone love me the way he did. Or take care of me the way he did. now, when I get so weepy and down, I think of how he would take care of me. Give me a candlelit bubble bath (he does the washing), make me comfortable, make sure I had everything I need, cook something fabulous for me, and then cuddle up with me by the fire. And fall asleep with his arms around me.

But he's not here, and wishing won't make it so. So I guess I just go through the weepiness, and hold on, and hope tomorrow will be better.
Sorry this is a downer...




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Comments

  • moonriver said on Mar 03, 2008....
    hi holly. remember me?
    here's hoping with you that tomorrow will be better. :-)

  • Actorguy said on Mar 03, 2008....
    I think you're entitled to the odd downer, Holly.  I'm with moon in hoping that things look better tomorrow.  I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
  • Me-Myself&I said on Mar 03, 2008....

    Holly, i wanted to say something that was up-lifting and that would put a smile on your face. but i just sat here staring. *smile* anyway, i got my notebook out and hunted for something to add that you might like....but first i'd like to say....i'm sorry you are feeling so much pain. (hug) i hope you find that rainbow soon!

    Life is like riding a bicycle. You don't fall off unless you stop peddling!

                                                                                                    by ~ Claude Pepper

    take care of yourself. ~see ya

  • queenparanoia said on Mar 03, 2008....

    {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUG}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

    this is all i could offer now... but i hope you like it. just remember someone in here thinks of you so please don't be sad....

  • quietone said on Mar 06, 2008....
    {{{{{ hugs }}}}}} here too, a bit late and hoping you are feeling much better now. 
  • silverwhisper said on Mar 07, 2008....
    [hug]

    holly, sorry that everything's so crazy lately--are you doing any better today?

    ed
  • Nowteam said on Apr 08, 2008....
    If you want to get over him, think about why you are not together. The reasons you broke up and play that in your head instead. Peace and blessings 

Comment on "A moment of weakness..."

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