"Oh say can you see and hear me now, my fellow tenured Amnesians?
Anyhoo.
What I said, and have electoral college hope too, Pizza & Just Ice small mall franchise people, that one fine day I might carry a single NRA member state in the South or Midwest, and all that other buzzy buzz buzzword bogus news jazz from Old New York, as we are gathered here today in [name any empty AAFL arena] to dedicate our sadly non-union forces if not my own cute unemployable union constituents to the impending invasion of virtually tankless Canada.
Mind you, we can forgive Canuckistan their marginal comedy contributions to border security at Horseshoe Falls, that has kept Al Queda from rolling over the Martin Lawrence Seetheway into the bedrooms of Vermonters visiting mostly French relatives a tad north of Burlington's biggest political blowhard since OVM dropped their football program, but be ever mindful as the sun shines grayly through the massive winter snows of this awful Global Upstate Warmup season, that our men and gayer men in Clinton-era hot hot uniforms will do their Kerry duty fastest, just as so many future Kennedy kinsmen have done before, from the steamy shores of Paris to the steamy shorts of Hyannisport, but for the benefit of corn rows and corn stills alike, Allah Allah In Come Free Amen.
NAFTA is not a four-letter noun perhaps, but when splitting legal semantics and skipping floor votes I've learned through about a year of actual day job experience not federally EEOC funded for fans of Rezko Realty, that there's nothing like talking when action only seems to get in the way, and by my blessed Koran fed fealty of Farrakhan quiet rioting I will lead our shrill, strident shortly All Lesbian Armed Forces and their stunning Stirrup Pants Brigade, mightily helped by SecDef Dean and Ambassador to Rural America Oprah, in a media rousing, ever loud even foray for five minutes or so until we can relent to the sortie of metroshizzle feel good times that form the thin-skinned cornerstone of my borderline cowardly and certainly populist pinhead campaign.
Taking back Toronto from the Jews and Chinese may not make the world go away, but as Hillary so boldly showed us in Waco and Christina Airport, it does tend to keep poodle people from speculating on such sally matters as fiscal restitution, troop hemp readiness, blowout tax policy, freeish market growth, South Boston reparations, sustainable eco-families, and female facial hair.
I ask you all to partially pray for the remaining officers and senior NCO's that won't bolt from the Army and Marines the second I'm voted American Idle, and their bi-sexual next of California union dolt kin, as we move across the Manitoba wheat killing fields, into the rink dangers that are Winnipeg, and on to swishy Vancouver to once and for all trounce the many poor examples of late 70's architecture and gangling paved public parks, that have for too long been the bastion of undertaxed out of state freeloaders not on eBay skimming the profits from the vital public access medical channels that our Take A Number killer nurse mavens can't wait to replicate for total financial ruin, during my shining First 100 Days in incompetence and AARP collusion.
Faint not no more cold Wiscasset lager and cigarette crowds expecting a moral miracle, your selfish self-imposed hell of a whining suburban PTA period will soon be over, as the Grand Army of the Pelosi fords Hamilton Beach and Molson Wetlands, to unify the forces of mental goop, and rid ourselves of the Axis of Ice that empowers few but enshowers nuns when they get the new blue line rules, such rules being something we might soon assimilate whether we need to or not, for the goal being not just goals but excessive goals paper pusher burrocrat stockpiles speaking, so forever may it legal hack rain.
Give Me A "B", Give Me An "O", thanks for coming today and remember to vote for meesa and VEEP nom Cindy Shiite on November 14th against that old war hero Surge guy, singing off Stevie Wonder until free supper, Yours Truly Senator Q-Tip."
