Post moved here: http://healthblogs.qobble.com/Dealing%20with%20depression_161.html
My last post, for those who didn't catch on was intended to be satrical. I actually quite like Monday mornings, and rarely get myself wound up about very much at all.
Before you all jump at me and say "you must be very lucky/well off etc to have no worries" - please don't. In fact I think I've probably had some pretty bad luck as far as one person in the western world could have in one year. I've had to deal with deaths, parental divorce, fires, tight finances and much more this year. Yet I carry on and still attempt to stay positive about it all.
The way I see it, there is always someone somewhere else much worse off than me. People in some places in Africa have to walk 25 miles 3 times a day to a waterhole 6 metres deep, with fly & disease ridden dirty sandy water, just to stay alive.
When you look at that, you realise that most of our problems are actually caused by the way we live anyway. I mean so what if you fall out with your partner from time to time. It's usually about something so petty that you'll look back and laugh a year later and say "we actually had an argument about THAT???".
Does anyone agree, disagree etc?
mrhowto posted on Aug 07, 2006
| views: 999
Comments
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Weird_World said on Aug 07, 2006....
And what if the causes are not something in your hand?? The causes are not your fault?? Depression in 20 years will be the disease from which the most number of people die.... Do you actually think, that every thing in your life is in your hands?? Adious S -
mrhowto said on Aug 07, 2006....
I agree, that not everything that happens is in your hands. If it were, I wouldn't have had such bad luck this year. What I'm saying is that how we choose to deal with it IS in our hands, and thus we shouldn't forget how lucky most of us really are and how miniscule some of our problems are in the grand scheme of things. -
WeirdWorld said on Aug 07, 2006....
That was my another ID anyways, I have been ill for two years, and I am going to be on medicines for the next two and a half... I am not exactly finding any reason to be happy for the time being... And dont say I havent tried, I tried everything to keep myself happy, but it is not happening anymore....... And please dont say that the nightmare I am living is my fault... Adious S -
mrhowto said on Aug 07, 2006....
Sorry to hear about your illness WW. That's exactly what I'm talking about. As I said on my intro to this post, "we should reserve depression for people who really have an excuse, such as those who are ill and so on." So yes, you have a perfectly good excuse to be depressed. What I was saying is that many people who say they are depressed over silly things are blowing it out of proportion when they don't know how lucky they are to be well and healthy etc. -
WeirdWorld said on Aug 07, 2006....
I didnt read the intro of your post, just saw the title and decided to click.... Sorry Adious S -
LayaMaria said on Aug 07, 2006....
Depression is scary. I had it for over a year and a half... it was like, I was walking in the tropical sunshine and I couldn't even feel the warmth. Everything was all cold inside, and any mention of the thing that made me depressed immediately brought on the chills. I looked at other people being happy, I went out with my friends and they'd be laughing and I'd look at them and wonder why they were so happy. It took several weeks of the mindlessness of watching cartoons before I could bring myself to laugh again. I knew it was irrational to feel that way, but when you're in it, you can't help it. You can't see a way out and you just keep asking if it will be that way from then on for always. Reason's one thing. Actually experiencing it is another thing. -
WeirdWorld said on Aug 07, 2006....
I usually dont wave my depression like a flag, but it does make you edgy and defensive at times.... LayaMaria, I know what it feels like, been there, living it... Adious S -
mrhowto said on Aug 07, 2006....
WW - no probs - take care ;) LayaMaria - Intresting point. I used to allow myself to get wound up about things/life etc, I wouldn't go as far as to say I was depressed, but certainly some degree unhappy at times. I can see how easy it is to get stuck in that downward spiral. Glad you found your way out through cartoons. However, I'm sure it was yourself deep down who decided at a point to turn it around and climb back out of the hole. I guess we all have our own ways of dealing with things, and just have to find our own good-bits and grip them with both hands. -
LayaMaria said on Aug 07, 2006....
mrhowto: yeah, you're right. finally psyched myself into picking myself up and going on. guess it was lack of a basic support group that contributed so much to the depression in the first place... been living alone the past two years. it was like retraining myself to laugh and smile, I tell you. -
00purple666 said on Aug 07, 2006....
[color=purple] Right...yes I agree there are always people that are worse off that you and that you should be happy for what you have etc...However unless you have suffered true depression you will never know what it is like! You think you are going mad, you feel as if there is a constant black cloud over your head consuming the person you once were.It creeps up on you and before you know it you are at the bottom of a very deep pit.You want to be happy, you want to smile but no matter what you do you can't.Depression is caused by a lack of chemicals in the brain,it can happen to anyone no matter how happy they usually are.It is made worse if the person has an illness and/or their life situations are not going well. It also tends to run in families.I envy you and your ability to stay in the optiistic zone..consider yourself lucky! So true depession if not self inflicted sometimes you can drag yourself through it,sometimes it needs medical assistance.Sometimes it's a constant battle to smile,sometimes you put on an act to fool friends as not many people understand and just think you are being miserable for the sake of it.Here endeth today's sermon [/color] -
bipolarbear said on Aug 07, 2006....
thanks 00purple for your comment on clinical depression. , the depression caused by a chemical imbalance. it's important that it is aknowledged for those of us who suffer it. obviously i am bipolar,hence my name, meaning i deal with uninvited depression and mania. when it is a chemical imbalance fighting off depression is like fighting off the flu. i am lucky enough to have found the right meds to have held it all at bay for years now. but your description of what it is like is right on the mark. depression is a scary state to be in. to the sermon i say AMEN! -
mrhowto said on Aug 07, 2006....
Thanks again for the feedback. Perhaps I used the wrong term as I wasn't referring to clinical depression, but more people whojust walk around saying "I'm depressed, everything is so bad etc". Appologies for the lack of clarity. ;) -
cfamommy said on Aug 07, 2006....
Thanks for clarifying there, [b]mrhowto[/b]. I completely agree with 00purple; I've been dealing with clinical depression for 5 years, and it wasn't brought on by me thinking I have the worst life EVER. It runs in my family, that's all. Now that my doctors have found a medication that hellps balance those chemicals in my brain, I [i]can[/i] try to look on the bright side and fight back against negative thoughts. Coming to terms with the fact that I DO have an illness was hard, though. I thought I was supposed to be able to think my way out of what I was feeling, and the fact that I couldn't only made the situation worse. I guess that's why I was shocked by the intro to your post! But yeah, I agree that we have it way better than most people in the world, by far. -
GrapeKoolaid said on Aug 07, 2006....
Not to make too much light of the situation, but I've always found it helpful to take delight in the little things: Like a cookie, the smell of a flower, shirt pulled fresh out of the dryer, the misery of others, etc... -
bipolarbear said on Aug 07, 2006....
i knew you didn't mean harm mr. ht. i could see that in your second response to wierd w. i just took the thoughts of 00purple and ran with them... you opened up a good topic for discussion. funny grape! :D -
ellaywest said on Aug 07, 2006....
Ha! I have diagnosed myself with depression because I know what is going on. My life has changed and I am not sure what to do about it. It is all in your mind but it will affect every other part of your body if you are not careful. Then, it will have become an ulcer, migraines, loss of appetite, low self- esteem....and all that good stuff :-) And it does nourish my perspective to think about those who are far worse off but in reality their issues aren't mine. I can't measure my life against theirs and my "important things" aren't theirs. So that only helps for half a second. And the brain is sometimes too stubborn to just change. However, I know where my depression comes from...and it is the state of my financial life. With that said, I am attempting to not be crazy broke anymore. Other than that, I can't bad mouth any other part of my life. Just not being able to do "key" things like pay the rent on time, getting my kids clothing that fits, and things like that... that just sends me into a tizzy (crazy state of mind) -
FaithMatters said on Aug 07, 2006....
Guess I'm one of the few who got through a depression without taking pills. I took the therapy route and talked things over for five or so years. At the start, my therapist actually suggested medication that would make me feel better, but I chose not to get into that. What would become of me if I stopped taking the meds? I'd be back to square one. So I chose to get through it by taking stock of my inner life and sorting it out. Every week I'd go into that session with four or five things to talk about. Eventually it got down to two and three, and then it got down to one session a month and then stopped. Now I know that I have my friends, family and pastors to help me through whatever I'm going through. Inwardly, I know I have faith in God and have experienced His help over and over and over again. At times, though, things seemed pretty black. I felt like the odds were stacked up against me and rationalized all the ways that they were and that I couldn't get out of it no matter what I did. I felt that life was inherently unfair. At the same time there was this void inside that I couldn't fill no matter what vice or virtuous thing I might do. Then of course there's the anger which can still flare up from time to time, but I'm aware of it and know that I have a choice in how to respond to whatever pisses me off. Eventually I realized that I had these habits and cycles of thinking that would lead me down the depressing path. I became very aware of my thinking and how my thoughts affected my feelings and vice versa. Once I found myself going down the sadness-anger-defensiveness-black as night road, I'd stop myself and ask "Why am I thinking like this?". For a long time I would write in my journal or whatever trying to dissect the why. I realized that the why wasn't nearly as important as the fact that engaging in it. I was feeding and nurturing the anger and blackness and so on. And so I try hard not to go down that mental path. I look at depressive habits of thinking and feeling as hitting a fork in the road and choosing - mostly unconciously - the depressive path. Once you're on it, it's hard to shift course. I realize now that in many ways I'm more oriented towards problems and failure than I am to opportunities and challenges. It could have been due to formative experiences or something else, but in the end it doesn't matter why. What matters is that I'm aware of this orientation, know that it's not the way I want to go, and with God's help can choose a different path for myself. The path I've described was in no way easy. I had many stumbles, many falls, and wound up refraining from intimate personal relationships for seven years. During that time I didn't think I deserved to be in one. But I go through it and I must say I learned alot about myself and about life along the way. Many others may have more severe conditions than I that necessitate medication. I say do what works for you. -
JadeLondon said on Aug 07, 2006....
MrHowTo: Would you suggest that you are speaking more about pessimitic thoughts that impact behavior? From that standpoint, I do see what you mean--and with that, I can say that you DO, to a certain extent anyway, create your own luck. But seeing that I have a serotonin imbalance, I can say that when things are out of whack "upstairs", there seems to be no amount of positive thinking that can halt the onslaught of anxiety & depression. When I am feeling good, I buy into your theory whole-heartedly. Indeed, I feel the same way. But when that darkness of spirit descends, I feel as if I will never be freed from its clutches. I feel incapable of comprehending what happiness is, much less, how to find it again. -
00purple666 said on Aug 07, 2006....
[color=purple] I like the way you wrote " But when that darkness of spirit descends, I feel as if I will never be freed from its clutches......" I know exactly how that feels but at the moment I am and seem to be happy woohoo :o) [/color] -
aleyson said on Aug 08, 2006....
i really do think that its all in the mind...been there done that... -
JadeLondon said on Aug 08, 2006....
00purple666: Thank you--that is about the best way I can describe. Aleyson: I am not trying to be a smart *ss when I say this, but have you ever experienced post partum depression? I only wish that could have been in my head--and so do millions of other women, I am sure. If I could turn my depression on and off with an emotional light switch--don't you think I would do it. Don't you think these other women (and men) here would? Perhaps whay you experienced was a wee bit of situational depression. Which I am sorry--it is not the same. -
TheNakedProfessor said on Aug 08, 2006....
Guys, clearly the term "depression" is misinterpreted in this context. As purple pointed out, it's more than a bad mood. I had a hard time coming to grips with that reality myself, and it's because the word "Depression" is so common in our language and was attached early on to a disease for no appropriate name has yet been found. One of the people closest to me in life is a psychologist who deals with this disease daily, and she agrees. Additionally, my ex-wife suffers from it, and trust me - it's not just a bummed out attitude. So long as we call it "depression" it will always be underestimated by many of us, who shake off bad moods like a dog shakes off water. It is a deadly darkness, a veil of hopelessness that covers the world view of anyone behind it. To dismiss it lightly is to alienate yourself from those who bravely try to cope with it. -
Weird_World said on Aug 08, 2006....
If depression is such a lowly thing, why do so many people suffer from it?? Everyone is not weak, and the people who suffer from it usually are not either....... I have been a shoulder to cry on for everyone who knows me, even though I cant cry....... Why do so many people just end it?? I think I have had depression since ages, I lived through it without showing it...... When I got ill, my doctor gave me anti-depressants on regular basis, and I didnt know also... I found out by chance.... I still have them, cause at times I realise I need them, and I need them bad, when I actually cant control myself.... Maybe you are strong and I am weak, but it sure feels like being on the above the surface of hell and slowly being scorched and fryed.... Somehow your "dealing with depression...." doesnt actually sound like dealing....... it sounds more like diverting, but if you divert even then it still comes back, like our shadow does after the night of slumber..... Adious S -
mrhowto said on Aug 08, 2006....
Wow guys, can't believe how popular this post has been. Seems like almost everyone on here is dealing with or has dealt with some form of depression at some time or another. Makes us wonder what's wrong this world that such problems are so widespread. -
Weird_World said on Aug 08, 2006....
Or maybe you made the whole issue seem so trivial, that people who have been there or are there felt bad?? You are again looking at the glass as half full, I would suggest you to look at it as half empty.... It is funny when people think of depression in terms of optismism or pessimism.... Its never like that...... Its always in the gray shades... Adious S -
mrhowto said on Aug 08, 2006....
Or maybe I used the wrong term to get at what I was trying to say and everyone got the wrong end of the stick. Either way, made for good blogging, so am not complaining. ;) -
00purple666 said on Aug 08, 2006....
[color=purple] This is by far a subject that could be talked about for an eternity...For those that seem to think depression is a weakness within the person and they somehow choose to be in the depths of despair..Imagine your worst day of your life multiply by 100,then imagine a constant rain cloud over you amongst rays of sunshine which seem so far away,imagine trying to claw your way out of what seems a bottomless pit whilst trying to function normally with the constant chirp of people saying "cheer up love it may never happen" or the dreaded "snap out of it".Now would you honestly choose to live and feel like that?...Thought not! When the black cloud gets me, I do not moan,I do not seek attention.hell its a struggle to even get out of bed let alone bother to try and explain how I am feeling.I isolate myself away from people as I don't want to bring other people down! hoping to try and surf my way through the storm! I don't consider myself a pesimist either and as I had I am in a happy spell and I'm loving it! to fellow ppl within the dark clouds at the moment x [/color] -
00purple666 said on Aug 08, 2006....
[color=purple] Ok my hugs didn't appear so here they are again lol [/color] -
Heartwalker said on Aug 08, 2006....
wow, this is a very popular topic, never knew that, why ppl are attracted to all limiting things, I dunno, i keep postingall spiritual uplifting things, and ppl never even care to respond and they respond to depression, beats me... i think i have to know a lot about what makes ppl tick... -
mrhowto said on Aug 08, 2006....
Same here, that's what I was trying to get to the bottom of, but it all got a bit distorted lol. Nevermind. We learned a few important lessons anyway. ;) -
mrhowto said on Aug 08, 2006....
Lesson learnt: ||{1}|| -
anonymous said on Aug 08, 2006....
There's a difference between popularity and notoriety. One lasts, the other fades quickly. -
WeirdWorld said on Aug 09, 2006....
I stopped commenting on this blog, because I realised that the only thing that mattered to you was people reading and commenting on your blog.... Anyways the last comment by "anonymous" seems to define precisely what you are doing.... So happy blogging Adious S -
mrhowto said on Aug 09, 2006....
Sorry you feel that way. I didn't intend for this to be a popular topic initially, it just shot up because people found it interesting. I then noticed how much adsense paid me that day compared with other days and made a comment on it. How can that be a bad thing? Have I done something wrong? -
Ajinia said on Aug 12, 2006....
Sorry, but having suffered from depression for many years, it really yanks my chain when people suggest that it is not a disease, is all in a person's head, and can be cured by simply deciding not to be depressed anymore. BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!!! This is what WebMD has to say about Offering Support to those suffering with depression: [quote]Don't ask your loved one to snap out of it. Depression is a real illness. People who are depressed can't just "pull themselves together" and feel better. It takes time and treatment. Think about it: You wouldn't ask someone with cancer to snap out of it. Depression is just as real and just as serious an illness.[/quote] I have written my own blog on this subject so if you are interested, please go ||{1}|| -
Elevator said on Aug 24, 2006....
I have dealt with a level of depression in one form or another. I have isolated myself from society, either in the comfort of my own room, or in the outside world amongst people. I got over it, but even now i still find it extremely hard to connect with people.
Soulcast does help. My thanks to this site.
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yarleybrown said on Jul 01, 2007....
don't know what words of wisdom, to spout off with, other than, I've always felt like it was my personal weakness. A shame, to live with, I find myself avoiding looking others directly in the eye, as they might see my madness. I can still see the beauty of the world, but at times, it barely stirs my soul. It's a long dark winding road, but I agree with some of the above posts, in that it's almost an unconscious choice we make, to take that dark road. Perhaps the negative in life, is what we've come to expect, and would rather no surprises. I've entertained the notion, to go get medication, but something in me, rankles at the thought, like I'd be admitting I'm just something wrong, an abberation. I'm not making judgements here on anyone, but myself, so please don't be offended. For some people, I do believe it might be fully an imbalance, needing a tweak in the chemistry, for myself, I believe it was just something formed from experience. I still do not wish for medication, I smoke a bit of the ganj, to shake the blues now and again, and it helps, but when it's effects wear off, I'm back where I started. I could give you my reasons, got laid off, parents were a bit nutters, as I grew up, mom sick, and dad just a grump, but I don't want to spend my days, blaming them, they were young, and stupid as any of us, once upon a time. They did what they could, and made mistakes, like the rest of us. Still, I seem to always return to circling the drain, and am getting sick and fecking tired of it. I've basically cut myself off from friends and family, as I'm the dark cloud, at any gathering. Been driving me girl crazy, as she just doesn't understand. Her formative years were crazy, but somehow, she looks to the positive, whereas I seem to prefer the negative, like I said, prefer no surprises. There must be a middle ground somewhere though, where my dark view of the world, can't color every situation grey. I'll let you know if I find it. This life is a challenge to our souls, struggle on, it's not in vain, I gotta find a belief in something, even if it's just the ever continuing changing of the seasons. Good luck people. Find your heart, and breathe life back into it, whichever way works for you.
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