If you ask someone how many sexual partners they've had, what number would cause your eyes to widen, jaw to drop, and pants to stay on? I'm 19 years old (20 this summer), I got rid of my virginity 5 days before my 16th birthday, and I've slept with... 13 boys/men. I repeat the list over in my head every once in a while so I don't forget any... because, personally, it'd be pathetic if I couldn't remember with whom I've had sex. I think you've been in bed with one too many when you can no longer remember them all. In any case, I think sex has two faces: the precious and sacred sex that makes you want to cry because it's so beautiful and meaningful and the "holy-shit-this-feels-so-fucking-good...what's-your-name-again?!" face that's just fun and exciting and utterly primal.
But obviously, as a girl, I'm only supposed to enjoy the precious, sacred kind, so when my number started to increase and some of my friends were still at one or two partners, I kiiindof felt like I was doing something wrong and behaving promiscuously. I started to freak out and regret some of the meaningless trysts because no one likes a slut, now do they?
But when you look at me, I know you don't see a slut. You see a well-dressed, well-spoken, well-mannered, well-educated, "good" girl. See, I have you fooled. It's the mind games--they'll get you every time ;-) I don't think 13 is THAT many, though. Sure, it's higher than a lot of girls my age but it's also lower than a lot of girls my age. I don't think I'm a slut, though, so I guess that's all that matters. I'd genuinely say that none of my exploits were indiscriminate and I knew most of the guys for a respectable amount of time before letting them at the goods. And I still keep in contact with more than half of them. So I think as I grow older, more confident, independent, and self-aware, I feel better about...
...THE LIST (dun-dun-duuuuh! how ominous it sounds): MC, SL, JB, TS, DE, BG, CS, MD, SO, MT, CS, DR
That's 12 and it took me almost no time at all (yessss!)... but i really think it's 13, so who is the forgettable one?
Oh yeah. AO. Mediocre penis, mediocre sex, an asshole; definitely forgettable.
mindgames posted on May 31, 2006
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Comments
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boo33 said on May 31, 2006....
I've slept with at least that many, and only out of that number is what I call quality or "meaningful" as you say. I'm 28 by the way. The rest of them were either drunken nights or women just being easy. But I still don't have regrets. And you shouldn't either, as long as youre still clean, if you know what I mean. -
mindgames said on May 31, 2006....
Haha I know what you mean and I am clean as a whistle... however clean whistles are...? Thanks for the reassurance--I've stopped worrying about it a lot because I wanted each of the sexcapades to happen at the time, so why regret it now? Each (well, except a couple) granted immense pleasure and all taught me one thing or another about myself, men, sex, relationships, life... so I've made up my mind to have no regrets ;-) -
deja_detroit said on May 31, 2006....
I lost my virginity at 22 and I'm in my 30's. I've had 4 partners. My last partner was 4 years ago. I'm currently looking for some sex. -
mindgames said on May 31, 2006....
Aww deja! Honestly, no matter what your sex, I have a feeling that myspacesharky would be at your service... that is if you have myspace, of course--he's partial to the myspace junkies ;-) -
anonymous said on Jun 01, 2006....
my count: 13.5 -
mindgames said on Jun 01, 2006....
Woooo, we're almost tied! I definitely feel you on the "...and a half" thing because I had trouble counting two of mine: CS - I couldn't tell if he was fingering or fucking me... and either way, it lasted for about 12 seconds both times we tried. Ugh. I called him 1/4 sex for a while. MD - once we finally did it, it was amazing, but the first time, his only condom was too small (aka i t last for very long. I called him 1/2 sex for a while. -
girlstuff said on Jun 01, 2006....
That is so funny! I definitely have a few partners with whom I've had fractional sex with (hee hee). This one guy tried but he came before he even got inside. I would call that a -1. Or should we just call it a foul? By the way, I've had 7 partners, and only one who meant anything. I'm 23. -
mindgames said on Jun 01, 2006....
HAHA -1! That's a good one... I can't imagine how mortified the guy was when that happened--he didn't even get it in?! Damn! -
xphile said on Jun 02, 2006....
It's interesting the whole -
sexyvixen said on Jun 07, 2006....
i have had 6 parners and iam 17 -
bobbits said on Aug 16, 2007....
I've only had 2 where ive gone the whole way, and the second guy was on monday! -
simplyklo said on Sep 16, 2007....
Given that I am now a mom, it is hard for me to comment ... I think about my own girls reaching that age and I want to protect them ... not from having sex but from being "used" or from other ramifications like you mention, being deemed a "slut". I'm glad I've got awhile before I face these issues with them.As a fellow woman though, someone who has been there and can definitely relate, I'd say that all that matters is how you feel about your sex life and your list, not what others think. I know the "precious and sacred sex" as you label it is definitely something to look forward to but sex is natural, enjoying it is natural, and you should never feel bad about that. Any woman who tells you they don't enjoy it is either crazy, a virgin, or hasn't allowed herself to relax and enjoy it.I had a similar situation growing up and I could probably even recall my list from the time ... the first 10 ... I also didn't feel like I was a slut but since I lived in a small town some of the girls started gossiping ... that actually hurt because some of them were my friends and had turned to judge me. I was happy when I got to leave for college and get a fresh start with no reputation ... so just keep it in mind. As you get older the good news is that men don't have to brag about their exploits (not as much at least) so you can enjoy sex without all the talk around it.In the meantime, always be safe, and always be proud of who you are!
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