***$10,000 waiting for You!!!***Click Now!!***

People tell me the government is tapping our cell phones, spiking our water and sending nano-waves in the range of 8.3 Oscillations in reverberating loops at 4.5624hz embedded with high frequency digitally coded subliminal messages, in an effort to control our minds. (Ok I made the last part up, but they could if they had a few 9 volt batteries.)

I say the government has a far better weapon in their arsenal - US! Yep we've digitally mindfucked ourselves to the point we can barely cheat the IRS anymore. WTF? They have my home address, my work address, my email address, my IP address, my phone number, my cell number, my fax number. They know every single website I've visited, all my favorites, and every single porn site I've ever subscribed to.

Bill Gates even put a hidden temp folder - content.EI5, in my computer just for the government. It logs every website I've ever clicked on, and I can't open it!

So the government is armed to the very last follicle on Cheney's bald head, and guess what? They could care less, because they know we are so fucking mind twisted that we don't remember how to cheat anymore. A little white mouse has been calculating my taxes for four years now. **Click here dumbass*** and ***Print confirmation*** Pretty fucking hard to cheat on that little mind twister.

And I swear every single time I have the slightest urge to grab my second amendment from the pawn shop, form a militia and revolt, another fucking **New and Exciting Offer** arrives at one of my fourteen addresses. Every single one is clearly mark **Just for you John Mentalcase** or current idiot

How do these high masters of gigatrimesmerating pixel manipulation know ? Are they reading my fucking blogs? Is there no privacy left on this Worldwide Web? Sure I could refrain from giving out my numerous addresses, social security, bank account and phone numbers to every desperate foreigner with 48 million dollars in a governmentally seized offshore account, but of all the millions of people in my network he picked ME! - 79 times.

My new ezPhone's meta-analysis statistical projection emulator figured the odds of that happening and sent the results in a richtext digitized html code to the ezPhone's *Executive's Choice *EZ-access 524mb *Pentronic Smartcell, and just as soon as I can get some local service, I'm gonna sign in and find out what that number is, but I'm sure it's astronomical.

Yep, nobody cares who you are, where you are, or what you are doing anymore. Fuck no, they have *Youtube for that. What they do know is; if they send 100,000g of spam in units of 10k across the web of 1,018,057,389 (2005 CIA) worldwide internet users marked: ****$10,000 is waiting for You!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! some yuck like me is gonna click.

Meanwhile, deep in the basement of the Pentagon each click of the chattering mice is counted, registered and cataloged. The hourly total is divided by a specific logarithmic unit to arrive at median range for that hour. If the range falls below a predetermined number, an alarm is signaled.

Soon after, the secretary of defense is called and informed of possible public idle time and all access to libraries, schools and educational institutions is shut down. Any venue thought to promote reading and thinking is closely monitored for any increase in traffic.

If necessary *Verizon will be called upon to broadcast Exciting Offers on multiple products. Once the range is restored the offers expire and the chatter regains its harmonious record.

And to think, you were worried. JM