I am a cutter. And i know that it's a mental illness and that i need help, but im too afraid to tell my friends family or anyone. Buti do knwo if i talk to at least one person that will help.
I was in grade 7 when i first cut. I didnt knwo what cutting was, and i didnt knwo it was called "emo", back then it didnt exist, at least it wasnt a very popular term. I was going through a rogh time, my mom was talking to me about he rand my dad spliting up, and how i would feel about it. (they are still together) And there was a boy I liked, he knew how i felt but he would rather chew a cacuts then like me. And my friends were also giving me a hard time too. They made me choose between them.
I couldn't take it anymore. I had an anxeity problem as it was, but know i also had to juggle all the stress and preasure the thing around me were putting me in. SO one night i got so worked up i couldnt stop crying, and just freaking out. I found a sharp blade, and cut a small part on my wrist. Afterwards i freaked out and couldnt believe what i had done. So the next day i told my best friend from kindergaten what i did, she was scared and cried but she actually freaked me out f doing it again till i was in grade 10.
I was clean of cutting for 3 years, but now i dont its every few days, becasuse the anexity came back and so did the stress. Instead of cutting my wrists and risking people see it, i cut the inside of my upper theighs.
One of the reasons why i cut is because, it gets my mind off of whatever im worrying about, or thinking about. The pain and blood, has replaced my tears. To me it's a way to numb my mind. But i do end up regreting it. Because, its hard to change for pe. And i would love to go to the pool and not have to wera shorts. And i would love to go shop with my friends and try on shorts and stuff but i can't because i have to hide my scars and mistakes.
This is somethign i need help with. I just cant work up the gut to tell anyone again, i dont want to freak anyone out. I dont want to go to therapy. In fact when i am older i do plan to be a phsycologist to prevent people from being the the situation im in. But i need to cure my self before i can go for my dreams.
Is there anyone who cuts? Or who had cut before? If you have cut beofre, how did you become clean? What did people think when they found out? Is there an other way to get help with this without talking to anyone at all?
I was in grade 7 when i first cut. I didnt knwo what cutting was, and i didnt knwo it was called "emo", back then it didnt exist, at least it wasnt a very popular term. I was going through a rogh time, my mom was talking to me about he rand my dad spliting up, and how i would feel about it. (they are still together) And there was a boy I liked, he knew how i felt but he would rather chew a cacuts then like me. And my friends were also giving me a hard time too. They made me choose between them.
I couldn't take it anymore. I had an anxeity problem as it was, but know i also had to juggle all the stress and preasure the thing around me were putting me in. SO one night i got so worked up i couldnt stop crying, and just freaking out. I found a sharp blade, and cut a small part on my wrist. Afterwards i freaked out and couldnt believe what i had done. So the next day i told my best friend from kindergaten what i did, she was scared and cried but she actually freaked me out f doing it again till i was in grade 10.
I was clean of cutting for 3 years, but now i dont its every few days, becasuse the anexity came back and so did the stress. Instead of cutting my wrists and risking people see it, i cut the inside of my upper theighs.
One of the reasons why i cut is because, it gets my mind off of whatever im worrying about, or thinking about. The pain and blood, has replaced my tears. To me it's a way to numb my mind. But i do end up regreting it. Because, its hard to change for pe. And i would love to go to the pool and not have to wera shorts. And i would love to go shop with my friends and try on shorts and stuff but i can't because i have to hide my scars and mistakes.
This is somethign i need help with. I just cant work up the gut to tell anyone again, i dont want to freak anyone out. I dont want to go to therapy. In fact when i am older i do plan to be a phsycologist to prevent people from being the the situation im in. But i need to cure my self before i can go for my dreams.
Is there anyone who cuts? Or who had cut before? If you have cut beofre, how did you become clean? What did people think when they found out? Is there an other way to get help with this without talking to anyone at all?
