Life's been kicking me in the nards lately and I wanted to share some random thoughts that have been on my mind in relation to this kicking, etc.

- So I introduced my best friend/ex-girlfriend to a PlentyofFish.com, the free dating site I mentioned somewhere earlier down the line.  She almost immediately met someone in her area and is now dating him, pretty much delivering the Mortal Kombat-like finishing move to any chance we'd get back together in the near future.  This is very distressing, and has caused me to pretty much sleep the past 3 days away, occasionally getting up to stare at this screen and decide there's nothing to be awake for right now, and returning to bed.  Fuck you, fate.  If I'd known the internet was going to hurt so much, I would never have upgraded to DSL so it could hurt 5 times as fast.

- The guy that got evicted was actually not so bad now that I think about it.  Sure, he screamed and yelled on occasion and threatened to kill everybody in the building, but at least he wasn't constantly slamming doors and shaking the building around, things that make me want to put my head through a window.  The obnoxious tweenage brats that live down the hall have an older sister, and for some reason, my landlord thought I would appreciate having her move in right next to me, thin walls and all, so that I could not only hear her younger sister and her friends bouncing from their apartment to hers and back again in retarded excitement, but also the sound of her small infant (who requires oxygen tanks to breathe) rasping and crying right near my wall.  Yay for me!  I seriously want to throw them all in boiling oil.

- Is karma real?  Do you think karma exists?  Do we pay for the awful things we've done or said in this life, or even the next?  Because I feel that some of the things I've done on the internet alone could get me a hefty karma fine, even though I think riling people up is often hilarious and a lot of the time I don't even regret it, especially when I don't mean what I said.  Take for instance, a trolling blog I started once under the alias Pandora, a character from my imagination.  Pandora was an angry 15 year old girl with an annoying sibling and lots of hatred, much of it racial.  She would say the most off the wall things, like when Rosa Parks died, as Pandora I posted that it's a good thing she's dead, since the only memorable thing she ever did was her racist act of not giving up a poor white man's favorite seat on the bus.  Also, that infants should be used in laboratory experiments instead of animals.  Someone got really mad about that and said that they were going to run over the next cat they saw in the road.  Were these things "wrong" of me to say?  Are there such things as right and wrong, or was it just really fucking funny to say random offensive things and have people that should otherwise realize I'm not serious, getting all bent out of shape?

I think it was funny, myself.  Probably no one here will agree, but I'm not exactly here for props on one of the few times I bothered to troll.  It was sort of an act of vengeance for a few friends that were run off the site for having differing opinions anyway.  The site eventually went down for the count, and good riddance, the owner was a total douchebag.

- I've become more and more irritable in the presence of the "beautiful people".  Even on dating sites, you can tell who just wants companionship and who wants a dick attached to a wallet.  Gold digging scum, both male and female, can kiss my ass.  I might experiment by starting a new profile with the same photos I always use, then putting that my income is $150,000 a year, and see if I don't get more people knocking down my door.  So many of the "beautiful people" value nothing but material possessions and sex and drunkenness, their basest instincts shaming the rest of society, and people wonder why other countries despise us.  America is a nation comprised largely of stupid whores.

- When you're suicidal, everyone tries to be your friend and tell you that you have soooo much to live for, yadda yadda, but when you tell them you want to kill your neighbors and you have a lust for carnage on a massive scale, they get all weird.  Fucking dipshits.  I think the reason they distance themselves is because they know they can't give you a good reason not to kill people.  People, as nature is so quick to point out, suck.

- French toast is yummy.