• GracefullyGrowing said on Feb 21, 2008....

  I think this sort of thing is about unmet expectations. On everyone's part.  The giver and receiver.
   
  ~Grace~

• Twylarants said on Feb 21, 2008....

  Of course you deserve it,  but if we expect people to have the same values and sensibilities we have, it'll always disappoint us.
  You can treat people the way you want them to treat you, but you can't make them treat you well in return. Some people are just idiots.
  

• quietone said on Feb 21, 2008....

  grace and twyla are right in what they say, but it sure doesn't make it hurt any less.  But once you do something nice for someone else...because it makes YOU feel better for youself...then you don't have to look so much for it outside yourself?  did that make sense?

• secretlife said on Feb 21, 2008....

  ah, more disappointments.  i understand the last post you made better now.
   
  Something they did in an effort to make me feel cherished and wanted.  I would appreciate the thought and the effort, nothing else would matter, who cares if it was perfect?  In fact, it would be perfect to me.  Why don’t I deserve that? 
   
  you do deserve that; we all do.
   
  you're obviously giving to someone who isn't capable  of giving equally, or doesn't understand how hurt you are by their lack of acknowledgement of what you do.  it's also pretty clear that you don't feel wanted or cherished.  And to me, that's all about unmet expectations...and that's why i say i understand the post on disappointments now.
   
  boy, can i relate to this.
  and all i can tell you is you can't change anyone but yourself.
  you can reach out to another, but you can't control how they react-
  you can, however control you.
   
  i feel your hurt.  i understand it.  i think you have it within yourself to make YOU better.

• tbs230 said on Feb 22, 2008....

  Yes I have. You are not alone in this at all.
  
  I think we all look for the little things that will remind us that we're loved. And when we do it for others, we want them to acknowledge our efforts, not because we want the praise, but because we want to make sure they noticed and therefore know someone cares.
  
  And I know that it hurts when that person tears you down or belittles your effort. It makes it that much harder to do something kind the next time.
  
  But you can't let people stop you from being loving. You get what you put out, and one day you will receive all that kindness back and more. Because you DO deserve it.
  

• Auryn said on Feb 25, 2008....

  GracefullyGrowing- I believe you are right.  Thank you for reading and responding.
  
  Twylarants- You are very right.  I shouldn't expect as much from people even if I do deserve it.  Thanks.
  
  quietone-  You are also right! Gosh you people are so smart!  As for not looking for it outside yourself so much, that's a very good insight.  I'm glad you brought up that point because it does make me feel better about the situation.  I know that even had I known my favor would have been rebuffed I still would have done it.  It's who I am and I would not want to change that about myself.  Thank you.
  
  secretlife-  Very, very good insights.  I do believe that this particular person did not realize until later how much their lack of acknowledgment hurt me until the words were out of their mouth.  To me the damage was already done even though in their own way, they tried to make it up to me.  I know I deserved better than that but I was hurt because I felt that they never realize that I deserve better than that.  I do feel wanted and cherished most of the time but they do lack in that department on occasion.  I need to understand that I can not change that for them, only they can, and I do hope that they are sincere in their new efforts.  Until they fail, I will give them a chance.  Thank you for understanding.  I am just going through a rough time right now with some things.  Things seem to be beginning to change and I am hoping for the best.
  
  tbs230- Hello.  Thank you for reading my blog.  I relate to everything you said.  I believe you are right.  I also am glad that I am strong enough to continue to be loving.  I know what it feels like when someone goes out of their way to make you feel loved and even if my efforts are only appreciated 1 out of 100 times it's worth it to me.  I may have been hurt and discouraged from past experiences but when thinking it over I realized that it's just part of who I am and that I wouldn't change it.  Thank you for leaving your comment.
  
  

• Twylarants said on Feb 25, 2008....

  Glad you're feeling better, Auryn.

Comment on "Don't Do a Thing"

Currently tagged	rejection hurt confusion Perfect standards kindness (Click to add tags below)
Tag this post	(Separate tags using commas, for example: New York, dating, vegetarian)
Your comment
	Comment Anonymously