Trevor He is one of my biggestest problems since i first meet him, He is one of those men who is not willing to commit. But yet dispite all my beliefs about men like this, i found myself returning for more.
We first meet back in April 2007 When we both started work on the same day!!!
So them over time we spoke and we used to go out to town with the same group of people, but at that time i also fancied someone else who i worked with and never used to know which one to go for, so i just used to do nothing!!!!
Not at great plan i must admitt.
So them the months came and went, and then i was offered a job in eygpt!!!!!!!! Me amazed by this applies for it and i found myslef with 9 days to prepare!!!!!So then my friends went out on my last nite as i was suppose to go for at least 6 months. (this was september btw) and trevor came out as well, and we both got quite drunk and then he asked me if i would like to go home with him, I was amased, but said no because he was extremely drunk.
Then we went to the only club that was open that night it being a wednesday night!!lol. And i drank more did some nasty shoots and ended up going home with him, and had one of the most passionate sex i've ever had, he was holding me and kissing me. He made me feel safe and really turned on at the same time!!!!
It was mental!!! and having had a little bit too drink i was alot more forward than i would normally be forcing him down on to his bed and jumping on top of him, then manically searching for a condom!!!!!! that was the bad part!!!!!!
So then the next day i left to go to eygpt.
But that didnt go quite to plan and i was back about a week and half later, and i suppose we kind of became fuck buddies but me with out realising it, thought that i could still make a kind of type of relationship with him even if it was exactally what most people have, and this carried on and on, then at one point i was going to tell him that i couldn't just have sex with him any more because i was falling for him,
but i didnt, and then about a month ago i went up to see a friend in exeter for the weekend and he contacted me and i hadnt heard from him in a while!!!!!!!!it completely threw me my emotions went mental. He wanted to see me, and so i spoke to him and said that i was in exeter and that i couldnt and he said well dnt worry thats fine.
So i left it and then i did contact him when i came back but he was busy, and then i meet someone else, who i dont think is right for me but just having the fact that someone else was intrested in me made me really think about what is it i'm after love wise, and i realised that no matter how much i try it is not going to change him
It sounds very simple but it was really had to get there. So he text me on friday asking if i wanted to back to his that night and for the first time in ages i said no and felt happy, then last night i text him asking to delete my number to please no contact me unless it is very important and that i'm sorry i was not completely straight with him but it takes two and it is not all my fault.
So now i feel alot happier then when i was having sex with him, and i'm looking forward to finding someone else and letting them in. good luck to me.



