Opinions are like, well, you know the saying. Yes, we all have them. And they are numerous and varied. It's about the only thing that we can truly call our own. But can we really? I mean, are our opinions really ours?
Yes, we chose which ones we hold on to, for the most part.
Some are instilled in us that we have to change as we go through life. As children, most of our opinions are the ones that our parents teach us, either directly or through example. As we grow, we learn to form our own. But how do we do this? How are our opinions really formed? Do we just wake up one morning and decide 'well, this is my opinion on global warming'?
My opinion (hehe) is that we never really stop forming our opinions based on those of others. After all, the information we receive that we base our opinions on, most often comes from the opinions of others. Someone writes a news story on an event, and they're writing their opinion of the facts of the event. They decided what was important to talk about in that event. That's an opinion. If you were witnessing the event yourself, you might have decided that completely different elements were important, and therefore drew an entirely different conclusion. But since the news service has become so adept at breaking an event down into just a few sentences that are easily digestible and sound plausable, we tend to take their opinion as fact. And the news media is just one of those influences.
The people in our daily lives, the ones who we trust, respect, care about, greatly influence our opinions, good and bad. How often have you been at say, a party, and thought afterward, 'hey, person X was kinda funny', only to later hear your spouse say 'did you know what person X did?' and you start thinking 'hmm, person X might just be a shitheal'. Your opinion has been changed by the opinion of your spouse.
So, I've developed a system for myself regarding my opinion. First, I try very hard not to fault myself for changing mine, or beat myself up for holding the one I did before. I just realize that new information has come to me. Second, I tend to 'try on' opinions for size. I'll listen to what someone says, and I'll take it on as my own. Maybe for a few minutes, maybe longer. I'll fully convince myself that I agree with it, and it becomes my opinion too. And if after a few minutes it seems to fit me, I just may keep it for awhile. Of course, that time may vary, it may only be for a few seconds while I'm processing it.
Now, does that make me gullible? I don't think so, and dontcha wanna know why?
Well, here's how I look at it. I think that by taking on the other person's opinion, even for a short time, it allows me the ability to really listen to what they're saying much better, to put myself in their shoes, if you will. So that I can feel confident that I understand the intent behind their meaning, and they feel listened to. That's important in relationships i've found. And besides, I'm the one who decides whether I'm going to keep that opinion as mine, or reject it, or modify it, so in the end I'm still in control of what I believe, not the other person. Plus, this lets me experience many wide and varried viewpoints that I might not otherwise see in my life. People's opinions are going to influence me all day, every day, there's no getting around that fact.
So by taking the other person's opinion seriously at first, I become a better listener, more informed, and more broad minded.
That's my opinion, anyway. What's yours?
