• secretary said on Feb 21, 2008....

  
  hey ink,

  
  did you say bipolar?

  
  hmm.  have you heard charles schwab?
  the man who got himself millions of dollars
  in steel business back in early 1900's?

  
  he was rich for a while.
  but he didn't save.

  
  he spent all his money, all his energy,
  all his happiness,
  then he got bankrupt.

  
  any similarity?

   

  Warm Regards,
  --secretary
  

• secretary said on Feb 21, 2008....

  
  Hi Ink,
  
  Let me introduce you your new friend,
  Jesus, who says onto you:
  " blessed are the poor in spirit,
  for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
  
  blessed are they that mourn,
  for they shall be comforted.
  
  blessed are the meek,
  for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
  
  blessed are the poor in spirit,
  for they shall inherit the earth.
  
  blessed are they who hunger and thirst
  after righteousness,
  for they shall be filled.
  
  blessed are the merciful,
  for they shall obtain mercy.
  
  blessed are the pure in hear,
  for they shall see God.
  
  blessed are the peacemakers,
  for they shall be called
  the children of God.
  
  blessed are they which are persecuted
  for the righteousness' sake,
  for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
  
  blessed are you, when men shall revile you,
  and persecute you,
  and shall say all manner of evil
  against you falsefully, for my sake.
  
  Rejoice, and be exceedingly glad,
  for great is your reward in heaven,
  for so persecuted they the prophets
  which were before you. "
  
  somewhere in either matthew, mark, luke or john,
  Jesus also said,
  "You didn't choose me.
   I chose you."
  
  That's right, ink.  if you don't have one yet,
  i recommend you to go to a dollar store
  and purchase a bible.
  i was so glad they sell so many things there lol.
  
  Rise and Shine,
  --secretary
  

• secretary said on Feb 22, 2008....

   

  Hey buddy ink,

  
  about loneliness.
  somewhere in new testament, jesus said
  "world will hate you, for you don't
  belong to the world.
  if you do, world would love you."

  
  on last valentines day evening,
  i worked on my stuffs all alone
  in starbucks.

  
  it was tough, especially the time
  when all the others enjoy their
  valentine dinner in fancy restaurants
  across the street.

  
  my blogs? nobody reads it,
  nobody visits it, nobody comments on it.

  
  why? cuz i speak of the truth,
  the truth that they don't like.
  if i say what they wanna hear,
  they'd love it.

  
  my friend ink,
  this world do not know Jesus.

  
  churches?
  somewhere in old testament says
  "they worship God with their mouths,
  but their minds are far away from Him."

  
  in my understanding,
  those who seek the truth
  need not, should not go to church.
  all they need is to read bible
  and follow its teaching in lives.

  
  Jesus, unlike common notions,
  is a rebel. he said,
  "do not think i  came to give peace on earth. 
  i did not come to bring peace, but a sword."
  (matthew 10:34)

  
  "you suppose that I am come to give peace on earth?
   I tell you, Nay, but rather division"
  (luke 14:51)

  
  if you read bible yourself,
  you'll find many things that you'd never
  thought you'd find it there.

  
  back to loneliness talk.
  myspace.com/huhnkie
  there, you'll see this lone guy lol

  
  but i chose to be lonely.
  cuz i got just way too many works to do.
  besides my day job as a miserably
  underpaid computer programmer,
  after it i came home and study things,
  write things, edit things, watch things, etc.

  
  hey, if you write, why not write screenplays?
  i'm a startup indie director/producer,
  so i may use yours for my future movies ;>

  
  anyhow. here in los angeles, countless
  writers, actors, directors arrive each
  and everyday with their hollywood dreams,
  from all around the world,
  from all walks of life, be it 10 year old kid
  or 70 year old retiree.

  
  i once had a roommate you came from cuba
  to become a director here.
  he hated his day job as a waiter and
  often felt depressed cuz his career
  as a director wasn't going well.
  but he moved on and kept working hard,
  day and night, during the day as a waiter
  in a restaurant, during the night
  as a director/editor.

  
  what is your dream, ink?

   

   

• secretary said on Feb 27, 2008....

  
  Hello literary spirit called ink ;>

  
  i really love your poems.
  it's anti-verbose, airy, crisp,
  and genuine.

  
  "ending my life would be such relief."

  
  i'm there with you bro,
  that's how i feel every night.

  
  by the way,
  if you mind my 'polluting' your blog space,
  let me know-- i'll stop ;>

  
  ok. so why do i feel that way--
  these days, my life is such a hell.
  during the day, i go for that
  miserably underpaying computer programmer job.

  
  when i come home, i work on the movie
  that i'm making.

  
  making movie sounds pretty exciting, huh?
  well, if you're doing it surrounded by
  pretty actresses, it should.

  
  but in this project i'm doing now,
  i'm doing it in absolute isolation.

  
  there is no one. zero. around me.
  writing, acting, filming, directing,
  editing and what not, it's all by myself.

  
  why am i doing this?
  i just wanna make a record to myself.
  one feature length movie that involves
  no one but me-- i liked the idea.

  
  as good as it may have seemed,
  as painfully as it actually bleeds my heart,
  as you beautifully wrote in your poem.

  
  hey, do you like mustard in your sandwich?
  hear what jesus has to say about mustard:

  
  "The kingdom of heaven is like
  to a grain of mustard seed, which a man took,
  and sowed in his field:
  Which indeed is the least of all seeds:
  but when it is grown, it is the greatest among herbs,
  and becometh a tree, so that the birds of the air come
  and lodge in the branches thereof."
  (Matthew 13:31)

  
  this is what keeps me going.
  look. i am absolutely nameless.
  nobody knows me. the last film
  i ever made is like 5 years ago,
  when i was an undergrad in
  midwest college, specifically
  the univ. of wisc. madison.
  i took a video production class there
  and made a 10 minute short film
  and that was that.

  
  will i become famous with this movie
  i'm wrestling with, everynight with
  a pack of cigarettes?

  
  honestly, i don't give a damn.
  why? money, women, fame means
  absolutely nothing to me.

  
  well it'd be nice if it makes me
  enough money so i can quit my day job.
  but other than that, it doesn't mean much.

  
  once i thought,
  "why should i be making films?
  what is more worthwhile--
  making already happy people happier,
  or helping people in desperation
  get back into the track?"

  
  well. i chose to do both.

  
  my film is a comedy.
  it definitely has comic elements in it
  but it's not all about laughter.
  if it were, i wouldn't be motivated
  to go thru all the shit that i'm
  going thru every night, every weekend.

  
  since my day job is 8-5 m-f,
  the banker hour job,
  i only work on filmmaking during weekday evenings
  and weekends, the kinda time
  other people would hang out with girlfriends,
  family, friends and what not, to relax.

  
  in my life, there is no relax.
  no family. no friends. no nothing.
  only work. this is why i'm pondering
  the same kind of suicidal fantasy
  about that 'permanent vacation.'

  
  sorry to be verbose but
  i feel like you're my friend
  with whom i share things happening in life.

  
  Friendly Regards,
  --secretary

   

• ink_stained said on Oct 12, 2008....

  
  
  thanks secretary, wherever you are.
  
  
  

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