To the guy in the red car next to me at the traffic light yesterday . . .
YOUR CAR HAS WINDOWS! People can *still* see you pick your nose, even though you're in your car.
To the person in my apartment complex that drives the black Durango . . .
One - there's a reason those yellow lines are there. The key is to park BETWEEN them, not straddle them. That's a nice car, to be sure, but you don't get to take up two spots EVERY night.
Two - there IS benefit to you, as well as others, when you pull all the way in to the parking spot instead of leaving the back end stick out in the driving area.
To the tellers at my bank . . .
Please forgive me for interrupting your work day to make a deposit. Please, let me make it up to you. Let your boss know that I made a deposit, and tell them that even without my permission, they can use my money for a day longer for their own purposes before crediting my account. And . . .no. . . *really*.. . . YOU have a nice day!!
To the gum popping waiter . . .
Thank you for allowing me to see, hear, and smell you chewing . . . what?. . . was it three pieces of watermelon Bubblilicious? I was able to stay on my diet once I experienced you taking my order. I had an appetite when I walked in here.
To those that work the Drive-thru . . .
Is there some drive-thru etiquette that I'm not privy to? I was totally not aware that I was supposed to wait for my order until you finished flirting with your co-worker. I hope that affliction you have that causes you to move as quickly as dead lice gets better soon.
Oh, and I have a request. Perhaps you could inform me BEFORE I pay for my food that the fries are not ready, instead of adding a six minute wait for my . . . "fast" food . . . being asked to pull forward, and put myself at risk of being hit by oncoming traffic from behind. I'd happily come back later, or just do without the damn fries!!
To all the emo's . . . .
You are not that special. No one owes you anything.
